high anxiety prevents going out

lifesnotfair

Well-known member
#1
i am afraid of going out. I don't have any friends that will go out with me. People say to me that i should go out and do things out of my apartment. How can one do so when one is so stressed and anxious about every little thing in life. how can one overcome these obsticles. I have no clue what i am going to do, i am nearly 29 years old and look at me i really do not have any hope at all..
 

Damaged

Well-known member
#2
Well first of all i know it sounds easier said than done because i've been in your situation but you need to start thinking positive about going out and that you can do it.
Say you have panic attacks when you go out, you should start telling yourself before you make these steps that no ones ever died from a panic attack and you won't.

You need to find something to do that relaxes you, exercise works great because of the endorphins released, it will make you relaxed but also you will start to feel good about yourself and get more positive with going out.

Maybe a family member can help you with going out first of all, i normally pack my bag that i take out with full of distractions to help me when going out, ie books, music, food etc.
 
#3
The reality is that life doesn't owe you anything. The decisions that you make in your life are your own. I took me a long time to understand this principle but it's finally starting to get trough me. My anxieties are the result of my past choices but I decided to take responsibility for my " life ". Example : I had bad eye contact when looking at people so what I did is to join a Toastmaster's group. (toastmaster.com). Action = reaction. Everything has an opposite. Also you should be looking into your passions. What is your purpose in life? Are you doing what you want to do ? Ask yourself those important questions. When you find your passion and pursue it as a career your anxieties will dramatically diminish if not go away. “Anxiety is the dizziness of freedom.” - Soren Kierkegaard
 
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#4
Yeah, going out tends to be difficult for me a lot of times too, plus I´m nearly the same age as you. I noticed that my anxiety lessens a lot when I temporarily feel that other people aren´t better than me and that I have certain qualities that other people lack like drive and artistic ability. Of course this is only temporary and I can´t ignore for too long the fact that I am alone and everyone else is not which leads me back to my default state of low self esteem. When I do feel good about myself I still can´t stay in crowded areas too long or do anything extroverted so I am still limited.

I think Damaged has the right idea. I think exercise will help because it also acts as a distraction - your body and mind are too tired and distracted to care what other people think. Strong emotions, other than anxiety, also have the same effect like anger, happiness, and sadness / apathy. That´s what I noticed with me any ways. I don´t purposely try to make myself angry or apathetic but when it happens that´s what I notice.

Going somewhere with a family member also works, your attention is focused on that person more than the random people around you. I usually take my little sister to a park and go for a walk (we both love nature!).

If I want to go somewhere by myself and not deal with anxiety I will go to a park early in the morning on a weekend, like 7:00 am. There´s few, if any, people there plus I get to see a sunrise. The downside is that there´s always at least one person I have to walk past and greet and completely ruins the moment for me.

I hope this helps somewhat.
 
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