Hi

[Quietguy11]

So basically I'm just a quiet guy, oh, but with social anxiety. I've always pictured in my head that I am standing behind a barrier that distances me from fitting in with the world. But on a positive note, it has always given me great observing skills, because that's basically all I can do in this quiet-head of mine. I look at my friends from within my barrier and sometimes daydream of how nice it would be to feel conformed. My quietness is more than shyness, it is an inner isolation from everyone, a prison that I am trapped in. I want to feel connected, so to speak, but I'm out of sync, I can't grab at anything to give me an embrace or a solid ground to secure my feet on. I just feel like there's no way I can ever fit in, despite how hard I try.

Anyway, because I don't talk much in person, I found reading has helped me fill the lonely gap a lot.

 

[LifeInternal88]

Hiey.Welcome.

This...

"My quietness is more than shyness, it is an inner isolation from everyone, a prison that I am trapped in."

...is a perfect description of how I feel.

You've expressed the lonliness beautifully.

 

[upndwn]

Hi Quietguy11 and welcome to SPW

I can surely relate to your perceptions, I've felt like a pariah for my entire life.

 

[Quietguy11]

Thanks guys, it has gotten a little better. There was a time when I wouldn't even laugh. Now when I'm with friends I always make sure to join in on the laughter, even if I have to force it out a little bit. There's just no way to form relationships or gain new friendships because I'm unresponsive. Not mute, but not outspoken or free to share my thoughts and feelings. I sometimes feel like I'm suffocating in my mind. I just want my tongue to be loosed so that I can speak freely and confidently. I don't mind being quiet when I see that my friends are all having a good time when we're out. But sometimes it just saddens me that I can't jump in and join in on all the conversations that go around. I just feel out of place. But I have definitely improved a lot. Like I said, I can laugh now with my friends, and can sometimes get a few words in here and there. I just can't really carry on a conversation yet for more than just a couple of minutes. Thanks for your welcoming replies!

 

[Quietguy11]

Update: Since joining, I have been coming out of my shell a lot more, and feel that I have improved just by sharing thoughts on this site. So I really appreciate all the support and friendliness that everyone shared with me throughout my time here so far. I feel that I am doing a lot better despite having been diagnosed with schizophrenia, and feel that I am making positive steps the process of healing. Sometimes. Recovery takes time, and I realize that, and I know that we are all on the same journey through life with social anxiety. I wish everyone wellness and lots of purpose and happiness for living and existing.

But if you'll excuse me, I have loads of anime I must get too Ciao!

 

[Biev]

Well, if it helps, here in the cybersphere you come off as a nice and friendly guy! And clever. And sensitive to others.

On a side note, I could use some anime recommendations ; )

 

[Quietguy11]

Thanks My personality is much more vibrant online than it is irl. I really appreciate the kind words. As for anime recommendations, you got it. Naruto! But I don't suppose you want something that long or maybe you're even watching it or have finished watching it? Naruto is probably my favorite anime right now. It's actually the first mainstream anime I've ever started watching through, up next is Bleach, and then One Piece.

If you want to watch one that's seriously hilarious I would suggest/recommend Nichijou. You will laugh when the principal is doing wrestling moves on a deer. XD

There's also Air Gear, but the anime only covers the first 1/4 of the manga. But if you like the anime enough you may want to read the manga as well.

Fate Stay Night, Fate/Zero series is good as well if you like a lot of action. You could also go with Mirai Nikki if you like horror genres. Just to name a few.

 

[Ithior]

Well, if it helps, here in the cybersphere you come off as a nice and friendly guy! And clever. And sensitive to others.

On a side note, I could use some anime recommendations ; )

Fullmetal Alchemist is a pretty good place to start too. There's the anime original and Brotherhood (manga adaptation), and the stories have some noticeable differences.

I noticed that the stuff we're recommending is aimed at a male and younger audience though, so it may not be something that you like.

There's one series that is aimed at an audience you belong to (josei, which is women I guess? Not young girls though, that's shoujo) and which I really liked: Chihayafuru. It's about a japanese card game, but you don't need to know how to play to enjoy it (they explain how it works anyway). It's incredibly good, and sort of a hidden gem (the fact it's about a card game probably drives many people away before they even try the show).

If you're into Sci-fi, Steins;Gate is good too.

 

[Biev]

The thing with Naruto and Bleach is, I can't stand the fillers. I loved both series until they started that crap, but it completely killed the show for me. I ended up switching to manga for Bleach, but giving up on Naruto... I couldn't get used to the drawing style. Never seen the others, except Chihayafuru - I love that one! Too bad I ran out of episodes!

I don't really have a preferred genre, I'll watch anything from battle to kitschy romance as long it's well done. Sometimes I like a manga and hate the anime (Beelzebub - those voices, ugh!), sometimes it's the other way around (Sayounara Zetsubou Sensei). Some of my favorites : Death Note, Shirokuma Cafe, Lovely Complex, Samurai Champloo, Lain, Haibane Renmei, Koi Kaze... I'm probably forgetting lots (and I'm leaving out the movies). Manga I thought were exceptional : Monster, Bakuman.

Right now a lot of series just ended so the only thing I watch is Uchuu Kyoudai.

 

[Quietguy11]

The thing with Naruto and Bleach is, I can't stand the fillers. I loved both series until they started that crap, but it completely killed the show for me. I ended up switching to manga for Bleach, but giving up on Naruto... I couldn't get used to the drawing style. Never seen the others, except Chihayafuru - I love that one! Too bad I ran out of episodes!

I don't really have a preferred genre, I'll watch anything from battle to kitschy romance as long it's well done. Sometimes I like a manga and hate the anime (Beelzebub - those voices, ugh!), sometimes it's the other way around (Sayounara Zetsubou Sensei). Some of my favorites : Death Note, Shirokuma Cafe, Lovely Complex, Samurai Champloo, Lain, Haibane Renmei, Koi Kaze... I'm probably forgetting lots (and I'm leaving out the movies). Manga I thought were exceptional : Monster, Bakuman.

Right now a lot of series just ended so the only thing I watch is Uchuu Kyoudai.

What stood out the most to me in your post was the mentioning of Lain? By Lain do you mean Serial Experiments Lain? If so that was one of my very first animes that I ever watched. I can't remember much about it other than the Wired and reality were coming together. Or external events were being influenced by internal effects from within the Wired. Lain Iwakura was always such as mysterious character with a shy personality and an extroverted personality (Wired Lain.) Besides that The filler is kind of terrible, and hard to get through, but I just push through it. I set out to do two things when I watch an anime, to enjoy it, but also to finish it, no matter how bad it may be, like Inferno Cop, I don't recommend that horribleness to anyone.

 

[Biev]

Wow, another Lain fan! I was hesistant to mention it since it's a much older series, but it was the one that made me fall in love with anime again. I grew up on great anime, but it was always aimed at kids, and as much as I still love kids shows, it took me a while to discover that there was great anime aimed at adults. To be honest I only picked up the first dvd of Serial Experiments because Lain and I had the same weird haircut! But I really loved the mysterious/creepy side of it, plus all the computer geekiness and her crush on Arisu. Also what's cool about it is that if I watch it with a friend, later we'll spend almost as much time discussing the ending and what we thought the philosophy behind the story was.

I know what you mean about finishing series, though. I just got through Watashi ga motenai no ha dou kangaetemo omaera ga warui, and it was just awful.