Hi

[The Observer]

Hello SPW.

I've been here before but I left and went out to enjoy myself once I got over my SA. Anyways I'm back now to offer support and advice to anyone who needs it. Also feel free if you wish to PM me any time.

 

[The Observer]

Thank you Twiggle. Latte I'm glad my avatar can make you smile. Thats twice now someone mentioned it

As for my own SA it was pretty bad, I had it for the best part of 5 years. I used to hate having to go anywhere for any reason because I was uncomfortable in any social situation at all even if it was just family. I used to also go really really bright red for no reason at all and if someone said something to me or looked at me longer than "normal" I'd turn beet red. It got so bad I used to go to bed and hope tomorrow it would be raining when I got so i could just walk around with my hood up and have no one look at me.

This all of course lead me to be a very angry paranoid young man. If and when I had to go outside and lets say I was walking down the road I would look at every single car that passed me to see if the driver or passenger was looking at me! I was never violent but I was always just waiting for someone to say some smart ass comment to me and I'd be ready to punch the head off them. Can you believe it! Getting into this state of mind because of my own paranoid delusions. Funny thing was no one ever said thing to me or for the most part never even noticed me.

This lead me to eventually realize that people don't give a crap about some guy walking down the street or sitting on the bus or whatever. The more I got out the more this belief was reinforced and then just one day I stopped caring what others thought. In the eyes of others with SA I'm just "somebody" and as Mr average Joe I don't care who I see or who walks by me and I certainly don't give them a second glance much less even acknowledge them in any situation unless I really must. So what happened was I just stopped caring once I noticed that no one else did.

It did feel great to just be able to walk anywhere and do even the most basic things without analyzing every single thing and over-thinking ever interaction I had. Now I can walk and talk with confidence to anyone about anything and it feels great, so is the attention off the females :: Worth mentioning that I think this process was helped along by me getting older (maturing)

 

[Paahi]

This lead me to eventually realize that people don't give a crap about some guy walking down the street or sitting on the bus or whatever.

This is the way.
But very difficult to make yourself believe in it.

 

[The Observer]

Very true. I think the more you put yourself in situations where people are the easier it gets. Least for me it did

 

[IGotSeoul]

This lead me to eventually realize that people don't give a crap about some guy walking down the street or sitting on the bus or whatever.

cannot stress this enough. the excessive self-focus, while it may work as a constructive method when used positively, can very well be just as deconstructive negatively.

preoccupation with these thoughts as a priority while doing everyday things is, in my opinion, the strongest factor of my own anxiety.

am working vigorously to defeat it, just as you have.

 

[BloodSugar]

Welcome back, Observer. Great story you have there.

 

[The Observer]

Yes thats it, We are the owners of our mind and therefore ought to be able to control the things we think about. I know its way more easier said than done and we can get easily carried away with our thoughts in stressful situations. I also found that mentally preparing for things really helped me deal with people and tasks because I was expecting what I was going to do and act and if I did feel a little stressed I'd just excuse myself and find a quiet spot take 3 deep breaths to recompose myself and head back in. The tighter you get a hold of your emotions and thoughts when your out and about or dealing with people the less and less you feel stressed.

 

[The Observer]

Thanks BloodSugar

 

[pebblesdundee]

Hi, and welcome to the site

 

[alanj]

Thanks for sharing your story. It's like SA makes a person feel that they in particular will be singled out by other people to stare at and focus on over anybody else. When it finally dawns on us that we are just another person in this world, it really takes the pressure off.

 

[MrJones]

Welcome back!
Awesome story, it's great to see you got over your SA

PS: I could spend hours and hours looking your avatar dancing!

 

[The Observer]

When it finally dawns on us that we are just another person in this world, it really takes the pressure off.

Doesn't it just! Did you get over it yourself?

 

[alanj]

I used to have it so bad, it was just insane. When those truths began to dawn on me I improved a lot, but they only dawned on me because I kept on and kept on logically affirming them to myself every day. There are still pockets of the social world I am not too hot on, but it's still a work in progress. Are there any social situations you are still not good on yourself?

 

[pingu07]

Hi, welcome back! & thanks for sharing your story!

 

[The Observer]

Thanks for the warm welcome gang.

Alan, good job mate! Its great tho init I took a very logical approach to this is well. I'm not comfortable in nightclubs or pubs but its only because I don't drink and really dislike everything to do with the gargle. I can sit in a pub and drink and be relaxed and chatty and social but I'd just rather not because its not a comfort zone I suppose. As for nightclubs... Its just cause I cant dance haha.