Hi, doing research on social phobia for university.

[Anonymous]

Hi, as a researcher in social phobics, i have uncovered someting quite intriguing.

It was found that 98 percent of our 60 social phobics have:

1. alot nicer with other people then they are with their own families.
2. their mothers love doing way too much for them.
3. deep down, they are very unforgiving peple even tough, they try to hide it.

Altough they tried to deny it at first, the evidence for this became quite overwhelming. Does those caracteristics correspond with you people in this boardroom?

 

[Ads7800]

You know what, two of those are applicable to me.
My mother always spoilt me and I do have a lot of trouble forgiving those who have hurt me, or people I care about, in the past and of course I hide this attribute, who wouldn't?

 

[Fredscars]

1 and 2 are me down to the ground..and yea im opretty unforgiving but i hide it. thoughthere wil be certain individuals who will hurt me alot, asnd yet i sitll find myself gonig back to them

 

[outis]

sorry, but the only way i could answer this was to imagine i was just typing out my thoughts and no one would see them so my responces are pretty long winded. once again sorry about that

1. i bend over backwards to help my family all the time, meanwhile i don't really talk to people much. so unless my talking is such a tarrible thing that my familys worse for it then no i don't fit the first one.

2. my mom doesn't really do much to help me out let alone love doing it, my sister who use to have mild sp however got help from our mom all the time when she lived at home. my moms the kind of person that has trouble saying "do it yourself" so while i don't ask my mom for help with anything my sister allways was. but my mom has never acted like she loves doing what my sister should do for herself.

3. this one you didn't give enough info about what you where asking. if you ment forgiving others then i don't meet this one either, because of depression i didn't have any emotion other then fear and nerveousness when ever i was around people for a very long time. its kind of hard not to forgive when you never feel hatred and anger towards anouther person. or at least for me it was. but you never said it had to be other people. just if we were forgiving. if by number 3 we were supposed to also count ourselves then when i was 14 i should of made a phone call and at 15 i should have known. it took me 4-5 years because of my phobia to realize what i should have figured out then and no i have yet to forgive myself for what happend after almost a decade.

 

[GettingThere]

The three points sound just about right. Not convinced about the unforgiveness though.

I would add that I think that a lot of us are also perfectionist in attitude (I could be wrong).

 

[FroggyHope]

1) I do a lot more for my family than I would for anyone else
2) I do not have a mother, my foster mother made me feel like she hated me and hardly ever did anything for me.
3) I do get hurt by the nasty things people do or say to me, but I always end up forgiving everyone. Anger only brings more pain into my life, so I try to let it go. I am a little too honest, with my siblings and anyone I am used to, and at times they may say this makes me seem mean, but I am not sure honesty is being mean. I do try not to be hurtful when I am being honest, but I guess the truth always hurts no matter how you put it.

 

[Fredscars]

The three points sound just about right. Not convinced about the unforgiveness though.

I would add that I think that a lot of us are also perfectionist in attitude (I could be wrong).

im a total perfectionist, and if i cant get something as i want it my self esteem drops even more

 

[Remus]

that analysis dosnt sound like me atall

I left home at 17 and have looked after myself ever since for a start, so mum didnt do that much after that (they live 100 miles away anywho)

mind you I hate doing tests or being a guinea pig, maybe the ones who didnt do your test are like me :lol:

 

[Nightshade]

1. alot nicer with other people then they are with their own families.
2. their mothers love doing way too much for them.
3. deep down, they are very unforgiving peple even tough, they try to hide it.

1. I would say less so than average for me. Many people that I know, probably the majority, show their worst side only to their families or other people they know well. Most of them are not people I would consider to be social phobic at all. This would seem to be normal, particularly under stressful conditions. Have you looked at this on a control group without social phobia eg people with other anxiety disorders or depression for example?

2. My mother is a bit on the overprotective side compared to some, but I don't see that she was much different with me compared to my brother and he shows no evidence of social anxiety at all. I've seen other mothers who were more overprotective or did more.

3. Forgiving to themselves or others? I would say that I'm fairly forgiving. For a more objective opinion, I have talked about some of the situations I have been in where I managed to forgive people or move on or generally not let the incident colour my relationship with that individual, other people have said to me, "I wouldn't have been that forgiving" or "I wouldn't have been able to do that".

When I am trying hard to forgive someone who has hurt me, and it is taking a while to work, then I do feel unforgiving, but this is not because I'm an unforgiving person, it is because I have unreasonable expectations of my own emotions (and I'm excessively harsh on myself for small social transgressions that I would generally forgive others for, that is I'm unforgiving to myself). I don't think I could be described as less forgiving than normal when I see how unforgiving so many people are (again people who are not necessarily social phobic).

Actually, unreasonable expectations of my own emotions and behaviour is at the core of my anxiety. I think this is not uncommon.

I should qualify my comments with a point here, I don't think I'm particularly typical for people with social phobia (although I'm being treated for it a psychologist who specialises in anxiety disorders). But exceptions are good for testing rules!

 

[LilMissTragic]

None of that applies to me either.

 

[Anonymous]

Hi, as a researcher in social phobics, i have uncovered someting quite intriguing.

It was found that 98 percent of our 60 social phobics have:

1. alot nicer with other people then they are with their own families.
2. their mothers love doing way too much for them.
3. deep down, they are very unforgiving peple even tough, they try to hide it.

Altough they tried to deny it at first, the evidence for this became quite overwhelming. Does those caracteristics correspond with you people in this boardroom?

1.I think most people are that way, especially people with OCD and antisocialpersonlity disorder.... skeptical about SA'ers.
2.No
3. I am very forgiving... and how do you hide being unforgiving, is that like saying you forgive someone while still holding a grudge? strange
4. I am very skeptical that you are actually doing research, if you are maybe you should try getting a larger sample or talk to some of the folks who are working in the social anxiety clinic at stanford university thanks

 

[Ads7800]

these people sound kind of bratty. none of these apply to me and im glad.

Geez, what a nice thing to say! (I think my sarcasm is evident). That is really rude.

 

[Anonymous]

Worry is entitiled to her opinion, the braty people will get over it I think :lol:

 

[Ads7800]

I never said that worrydoll wasn't entitled to an opinion on the matter. However, that opinion could have been worded in a less offensive manner. We are mostly very sensitive people on this site. Hell, we fear being called stuff! So please, before clicking 'Submit', think about what you may be doing. I learnt my lesson on another thread when I offended someone myself.
And reusing the 'bratty' term didn't help, not to mention the laughing emoticon. Perhaps I'm getting too emotional here, but I do think it could have been worded nicer.

P.S. Sorry about going off topic.

 

[cody2468]

I don't know many people outside my family but I am usually freindly towards them like I am with my family.

My mum used to do alot for me, never wanted for anything except maybe a little affection.

I used to have trouble forgiving people, holding grudges and giving people silent treatment whenever they upset me but now I have learnt to let go of all the anger. Life is too short to be like that. I forgive alot quicker now but the pain of what they did or said will always be there. I forgive but never forget.

 

[LilMissTragic]

Ads, the point of this place is to share opinions. So if someone wishes to write something that might offend then thats up to them. i'm sure we will all offend someone sooner or later. I know i've done it a few times but all opinions count.

 

[Crimefish]

1. doesn't apply to me.
2. well, my parents babied me (and still do), so I never learnt to do anything for myself. I don't know if I would call that "love" though.
3. Yes, I think that applies to me.