Hey first post here, I dont mind its all anonymous lol
Its freaky reading through all the posts. I thought I was alone with this **** so never bothered saying anything before. I can sit and think for 6 hours or more without even realizing it worrying, thinking over and over again and coming up with the same answers or answers that may or not be true and its ended up that now I dont even trust my own thoughts anymore. I was thinking that there was just something wrong between my ears.
Its been rough the last few years, business went bust, havnt seen or heard from my son in 2 years, girlfriend of 8 years was hooked on drugs for 3 years without me knowing while she hid it (pretty well it must be said), family dont talk to me. Thats all fine, Ive gotten used to it, its just life I suppose.
I just dont see any way out of all of that mess really and if that wasnt enough to add to the problems is my new girlfriend, I can make her out I worry and think constantly and its getting me more and more depressed, its a strange one too. She asked me out and did all the running around, she drives over to me every night, and shes a good looking girl (sometimes I look at her and think I did well for myself), she wants to get married and have kids, she is even going as far as getting a tattoo with my name in it. So why is that bothering me? A few reasons
Im broke and on the dole since the business went, Im up to my nuts in debt, depressed, just about keeping the sheriffs from the door, still a bit upset about the son.
I dont know if I can trust this girl, I know it seems a bit messed up, we see each other almost every night, text each other all day everyday, we used to be friends before we got with each other, we can talk to each other, in fact I have even said all this to her, thats how good a relationship it is, that we can say anything to each other, but something doesnt seem right to me, I dont know if its me or her, like if its too good to be true, it probably is.
I cant really figure out, I trust her 100% as a friend, have told her anything and everything but when it comes to trusting her in a relationship I dont trust her or is that just me, I dont know if im over analyzing everything and adding 1 + 1 and getting 3 everytime. Shes answered all of my questions honestly, I think and still feeling like theres something wrong.
And I cant figure out what she wants, who would want to be with someone with that amount of problems in their life. I just cant figure that one out, maybe some of the female members might shed some light on this one for me because Im lost.
I must say though while we were friends and for about 3/4 months in, everything was different, I was different the complete opposite from what I am now, I can see the person she fell in love with but right now, Im the further this from that, I was happier care free and didnt spend too much time dwelling on things like I do now
Its freaky reading through all the posts. I thought I was alone with this **** so never bothered saying anything before. I can sit and think for 6 hours or more without even realizing it worrying, thinking over and over again and coming up with the same answers or answers that may or not be true and its ended up that now I dont even trust my own thoughts anymore. I was thinking that there was just something wrong between my ears.
Its been rough the last few years, business went bust, havnt seen or heard from my son in 2 years, girlfriend of 8 years was hooked on drugs for 3 years without me knowing while she hid it (pretty well it must be said), family dont talk to me. Thats all fine, Ive gotten used to it, its just life I suppose.
I just dont see any way out of all of that mess really and if that wasnt enough to add to the problems is my new girlfriend, I can make her out I worry and think constantly and its getting me more and more depressed, its a strange one too. She asked me out and did all the running around, she drives over to me every night, and shes a good looking girl (sometimes I look at her and think I did well for myself), she wants to get married and have kids, she is even going as far as getting a tattoo with my name in it. So why is that bothering me? A few reasons
Im broke and on the dole since the business went, Im up to my nuts in debt, depressed, just about keeping the sheriffs from the door, still a bit upset about the son.
I dont know if I can trust this girl, I know it seems a bit messed up, we see each other almost every night, text each other all day everyday, we used to be friends before we got with each other, we can talk to each other, in fact I have even said all this to her, thats how good a relationship it is, that we can say anything to each other, but something doesnt seem right to me, I dont know if its me or her, like if its too good to be true, it probably is.
I cant really figure out, I trust her 100% as a friend, have told her anything and everything but when it comes to trusting her in a relationship I dont trust her or is that just me, I dont know if im over analyzing everything and adding 1 + 1 and getting 3 everytime. Shes answered all of my questions honestly, I think and still feeling like theres something wrong.
And I cant figure out what she wants, who would want to be with someone with that amount of problems in their life. I just cant figure that one out, maybe some of the female members might shed some light on this one for me because Im lost.
I must say though while we were friends and for about 3/4 months in, everything was different, I was different the complete opposite from what I am now, I can see the person she fell in love with but right now, Im the further this from that, I was happier care free and didnt spend too much time dwelling on things like I do now
