Hey Group

[Bustn Justin]

Hi group, I am 30/male and have SA for over 12 years.


I am able to work in retail and go out to get groceries, however, I don't leave the house. I live on my own and like to watch TV, listen to music, and surf the internet.

My SA makes me afraid to form close relationships with others since my past friendships my 'friends' would use me or become mean towards me one day and be my friend the next. Since I graduated from university, my desire to be around others go gone down hill.

This all started in high school since I am different from the other guys and was teased for it. I have participated in many activities to find out what I am good at and socialize with other people, however, nothing clicked in and nobody seemed to like me any more. In my final yyear of high school I went to my classes and left to the mall or go right home since I seen no point in being in any extra curicular activities.

In university I was afraid to be friends with my classmates since I felt that I am not smart enough to be there and being different I thouhgt that nobody could possibly like me. In my higher level classes I had a prof come to me that I need to stop being shy and that the class wants to support me but I felt it was a lie since my prof does not really know me as a person.

Now I am wanting to get help because if I don't I am going to be lonely and not have a family of my own. As well my SA has hurt my career since I do not network leaving me with few opportunities to get ahead. As well If this continues I am going to be more depressed and dig myself a deeper whole and it will be too late.

Any advice would be great. Thx.

 

[Smurfette]

Hi! I'm your friendly Manitoban neighbor and I'm 32. It's nice to bump into someone closer to my age and Country. I don't know if I really have advice but I can relate. It's great that u acknowledge u have an issue and u just need to work on your self-worth/self-esteem a bit more. I'm here to listen if u need 2 talk

 

[Ignace]

Welcome.

 

[Blinkers]

G'day

I'm female and live on the other side of the world, but I can certainly relate. It's comforting to know that others understand. I haven't been here long, but I hope you get as much out of this place as I have.

Welcome

 

[coyote]

Hi, and welcome to the forum.

 

[Untamed88]

I feel for you. Your life reflects mine.

 

[UnofficiallyMe]

Man, do I ever relate!

It is disenchanting so see our society so able to alienate, right? I mean, this insane constant social world without any real depth cant work for anyone. Yet I am made to feel the freak. I sure wish I was able to educate more people on this.

Yeah, well anyways. I hope all is well and hey - I am here if you need a friend!

 

[Bustn Justin]

Thanks everyone. Its nice that I don't feel alone. BTW I made a youtube vid on SA. My user name is redrhino80

 

[Yes We Can]

Welcome, and hang in there. I can definitely relate to the feelings of isolation. Whatever you do, really try not to loose hope. I know it's easier said than done, but I say this because I really believe that when the brain remains in such a state, over time it reconfigures itself, and then it's hard to get out of that state of mind even when you're trying, not that it's impossible, but it's really an uphill battle, for some more than others. If you can, try to keep the whole isolation thing to a minimum, as long as there is balance it can be OK, but extended periods of time can really leave us vulnerable, not only to our own thoughts, but just to negative energy and influence, IMHO. That being said, my heart goes out to you, and I really do wish you the best. Stay strong.

 

[Zoya Dulzura]

Hi! I can definitely relate to your descriptions of isolation and sense of alienation during high school and college. I also feel hindered by the fact that I have not networked the way I see others have. I totally agree with what Yes We Can said, about breaking free of old mind frames that trap us and learning to perceive the world anew. When it comes to behaving differently, we must recognize the thought patterns that trap us in our daily "niche" and alter those so that we can gradually learn to think and behave the way we want. It can be hard to identify those self-damaging thought cycles, and it takes time, but it is most definitely possible with the right motivation. You are capable of getting past your SA and living the life you want to live.