Help for my sister

[praesepe]

Hi there I am new to this forum so not sure if this is the right place to put this....


My sister is a pre-op transsexual (born male).
She hasn't left the house for 2 years and keeps the curtains closed all the time and I am really worried about her. For the longest time the doctors have told us that there is nothing physically wrong with her and we have taken her for so many blood tests and all sorts of tests to make sure and they all come back fine.
But she complains that she feels weak and can't do anything. When I broach the subject of feeling anxious about going out and facing people she gets really aggressive and we argue quite a lot about it. I am sure there is some problem there as she does get trouble from people who can't understand her situation.
There are a lot of people who are mean and rude to her and laugh openly at her. I don't know how she deals with it cos when I am out and see people being that way to her I feel like punching them in the face!
People have even taken pictures of her on their phones..grrrrr

I really don't know what to do, it is such a difficult situation. I wonder how to go about getting help for her as she doesn't seem to be able to accept that there is something more than the physical wrong with her.

I know it's a toughie! but any advice on how I should talk to her? Get her to open up about how she is feeling?

 

[miss_amy]

Hello and welcome.

I wonder if there are forums more specific to her issues. People with a similar transexual background may be able to help her better. Its sounds like her not going out is related to that. I imagine the bullying and humilation she has suffered must be awful and a big reason for her anxiety. There must be people out there somewhere who can relate and perhaps chat to her..or even support groups. Give her somewhere she feels she belongs.

 

[DespairSoul]

Hello praeseppe,

Im sorry to hear it about your sis. Is kind of sad what everything she musted go trought.
I think she is depressed coz of huge change with her body and how people rude and cruel can be to her. Thats sound pretty creepy that u say people even make picture of her with phones "WTF" really. I dont wonder to you wanna punch theirs faces at that moment i would feel the same about my family people wich i love are everything to me.
No wonder she dont wanna go out and face it. For sure not anyone looked her bad or bully her. Some people even dont notice or care. This ones what do they have alone some issues with them selfes. U can help your sister overcome it with support and trying explain her that will take time that she get use to it and people around. She needs a lot of love and understanding.

Maybe if she try meet some group of people for supporting people what done so huge change in theirs lives? Wich can understand what she was and is going trought?

Take care and good luck for you and your sis!!!

 

[praesepe]

Thank you both for your advice and support

It is a little tough finding places to take her I must admit, but I will see if I can find some support groups near by.

I'll see if I can get her to join a forum as well.

Thanks x

 

[Mokkat]

You should make her join this forum for starters. We might not know just how alienated one would be from the world as a transsexual pre-op, but we do know about depression, anxiety, loneliness/not fitting in, being uncomfortable/scared with taking medicine, etc.

 

[EscapeArtist]

Aw it's sweet of you to reach out for her.. I agree, she might find some value in joining this forum for support. It can make one feel a lot less alone, and that is crucial when you are isolating yourself.

Hmmm therapy? Has she tried it? She sounds like she has a lot to work with.
Being positive is huge. Remember to stay positive and 'light' around her, she sounds like she could be dealing with depression, so that is important...
Also, as for taking her places, you could also go with her just to do little things, hang out maybe in less populated places, camping? Or something Ooo would I love if my sisters did that for me... It really helps to get out of the house as much as possible, and maybe it is easier for her if there is somebody there who loves her. So yeah, I'd try to do that too

Goodluck and best wishes to her and yourself.

 

[Feathers]

Hmm, maybe a cabaret where similar people hang out could be a good place?
Depends where you live though, any such places near? Maybe it would be easier in a big city? Do you live in a small town? Even in big cities, some parts of town are more friendly to more exotic people than others...

There are online forums specific to these things too, yup.. (I googled 'pre-op transsexual support forum', at least two forums appear.. check them a bit before recommending, maybe..)

I've read some people have the fear of homosexuality as it's so 'bad' in some parts of society they go for the whole transsexual thing then.. In any case, counselling and a support group would probably be good..

I've known someone who could be a handsome man, but insisted on being a not-very-attractive woman.. One does wonder sometimes, what would really be best...?

If any meds or taking hormones are involved, those could have side-effects too, do some research..

It can't be easy for you or anyone in your family.. maybe there are even 'support groups' for family members.. yup, one of the sites googled up seems to have support for family members too.. (I may not agree with everything they say, it's true that I haven't researched it all that well yet though..) Anyway, you could probably get some answers from other people on the forums there..

 

[praesepe]

Thanks everyone, I will try and get her to joint this forum if I can.

Thanks Feathers, I have tried a transgender forum but they are quite poorly populated! I haven't got a response yet but hopefully someone will soon.

 

[briannadane]

Maybe she is at the stage wherein all the pressure have sunk-in to her. It may be an indicator that she is depressed.

Many people are reluctant to get help because we live in a world that stigmatises mental health problems, even though approximately one in four experiences them at some point. If we overcome this double stigma, we may find that mental health professionals aren't trained to meet our needs.

Sometimes teens will find it hard to cope with the changes that are happening during adolescent years. There are physical changes, emotional changes, and a lot of changes in their social life. Counseling can help them overcome those anxieties and depression.




teenage help