Help! Am i szhizophrenic o'r something?

[recluse]

My mind is so full of cluttered thoughts i stress myself out trying to organize them..There isn't a minute in the day when i am not going through my thoughts. I will be doing something at work for instance and boom! my brain will start generating random thoughts and i try my best to not ponder on them, but most of the time i give in and i think of the thoughts over and over in a loop. It's not as if the thoughts are of importance for instance if a song comes on the radio by say Pink Floyd, i'll suddenly start obsessing about listing all their other songs in my mind and then i can't get out of the obsessive loop. When i do eventually get out of the thought another set of thoughts replace them and the cycle goes on and on, so i never have a mind which is free of thoughts.

This sounds crazy but i feel that i have to think about stuff like my favourite music and hobbies, and i have the delusional(i know that what i do is irrational) belief that my thoughts are more important than anything....I feel irrritable when someone interupts my thoughts! I sometimes believe that people are evil for trying to take my thoughts away from me!

I'm so afraid

 

[marrguitar]

that sounds like ocd.

 

[recluse]

I've had it for 11 years! I'm having cbt but it's so difficult to get out of my routine. It's as if i am afraid of forgetting things if you know what i mean? As if i am studying for an exam o'r something but the thoughts i go through have no good use.....But i just can't get out of the habit!

When i try to force myself to stop thinking i begin to feel panicky and i can feel the thoughts forcing their way into my mind.

 

[NothingElseMatters]

sometimes it's good when u have so many thoughts or thinking obsessivly about something that u think u must do but is not so important,to write some down on a paper.it really helps me sometimes,it's like taking the thoughts out of your mind and putting them on a paper-and after a few hours you will throw it away ofcourse cause it will seem stupid to write things down...it always happens to me :wink:

 

[recluse]

It's different for me. I write things down but it's as if i am trying to prove to myself that i can remember things in my mind...And it's destructive! I can't live in the present time, instead when i doing something like going to the cinema o'r playing my guitar i am constantly thinking about other things at the same time, so i don't get absorbed in the activity which should be an enjoyment.

The only time i escape this routine of going through my thoughts is when i am asleep, and as soon as i wake up i have to start my routine all over again....I can't face anyone in the morning untill i have gone through my thoughts, and i stay in bed for as long as possible just to do it. Then i go through the routine throughout the dayn, so sadly i can't enjoy life.