Hello...

LeafyGreens

New member
Hi everyone...my name is Lynne. I'm 20; 21 in February. I live in Sarnia, Ontario. I've had Social Anxiety Disorder since I can even remember. I'm in college right now, taking a 2-year business program. I haven't been to any of my classes in over a month. I just can't do it; I just can't walk into the school, and I especially can't go to my classes. I'm doing well keeping up, though. My marks are 80s and 90s. I've spoken to all of my teachers, and the disability office, and I have been excused from my absenteeism.

I also have clinical depression, and just like the anxiety, I can't remember a time when I DIDN'T feel like I do now. I've been suicidal since I was at least 8 years old. I'm on here because I need someone to talk to. I need someone who feels just like me. No one understands how I feel. My family members keep telling me that it's something I "just have to get over". They just don't understand, and I feel like no one ever will.
 

mrb

Well-known member
welcome to the site .. its a good place to share your feelings , lots of people here are in the same boat ...... hey we all need someone to talk to ... sure there will be lots of replys to this;)
 
Hello Lynne and welcome. I am also in college right now and can relate. It is so hard to go to class. Well anyways, welcome again and I hope you can find some solace in knowing that you aren't the only one :D
 

TheStatue

Well-known member
Hi there. I registered like 5 minutes ago and completely identify with what you are saying. I am 20, soon 21 and have not had a friend since I was 5 years old. I can hardly go to the shared laundry room because of a fear of meeting people. At my university I always sit alone and feel out of place. They (teachers, news articles etc.) keep telling us that grades don't really matter (I have always had the highest grades possible), in the end only social skills will land you a job. It's almost as if they are doing everything they can to make me feel worthless.

I have a deep depression and can't really concentrate on anything anymore. After high school I took a year off and basically spent that time alone in my bed, never looking outside. I know I need to see a professional, but just don't know how to take the first step or who to contact in the first place. And just like you my parents tell me "you are completely normal" and "just say hi to people" and stuff like that. I know they just mean well, but it still sounds like denial to me. And lately I have noticed that they rarely talk to me anymore. It is as if they don't dare because I might speak to them about my problems.
 
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antman

New member
i never thought i'd find myself on one of these, but here i am aimlessly searching for help via internet. and what i found was astonishing. countless people just like me possibly worse. in my self obsessed mind i could never phathom anyone being worse off than me. i always believed that its impossible for anyone to understand the feeling of not being able to engage in social activity, and i almost feel bad saying this but its comforting to know there are people out there suffering just like myself.
i've been battling with all sorts of issues through out my life. and the everlasting one, the one that hides in my shadow, was social anxiety.
for obvious reasons i wont get into i was always a quiet, shy person who always kept to himself. never requiring attention from the world or even contact at times, became more of a safety net. the longer i hid from having a normal social life the harder it was attempting to find one.
i was never one for finding the right words in conversations, and my anxiety levels would make me diizzy and confused and even more anxious. so i just shut it all out for as long as i could. i spent the majority of my life living in my own mind. if i didnt have to talk to anyone i would never get nervous, i would never have to wrry about finding the right words.
i'm not sure if our anxiety is based on the same reasons, infact if you want i could go into why i think mine exists on another day. but regardless of the fact, its a debilitating dissorder that prevents us from lusting after life. and leaves us wondering why us? just by reading these passages it comforts my mind reminding me that even though i sit here in silence with my rapit heart rate, uneasyness, and feelings of depression, I am not alone!
 
Welcome to the site Lynne:) I hope you find the help your looking for here, I found it was such a relief just to discover that others are going through the exact same things that you are.
 
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