Rot
Well-known member
Hello!
I just discovered this website a little time ago. I have to admit that I was glad to find it but I got a bit scared too. I haven't been able for years to participate in forums or get involved with other people (not even on the internet).
I'm 22 and I have improved myself in terms of interpersonal relationships. I tried to train myself for a better and more natural communication, and it worked. I can talk to other people without so much fear and I guess I look normal for others, but that doesn't mean I'm really happy with that. Being "integrated" hasn't made me feel better, nor happier. Curiosly it made me feel even more alone.
I'm at the point where things are going good, in the way that I have finished my studies, I have succeed in it, I know what I want to do in my life and I have many objetives, but I'm feeling so emtpy and alone. None of these things have made me feel happier nor less alone. When I'm around people I feel like a strange, like if I have nothing to do with them, like if we don't even speak the same language.
At first loneliness was fine. I felt so liberated, without fear and nothing that could affect me. But now this loneliness is becoming frightening. And the worst is that I've pushed away my friends along the years, to the point that I just can consider two (but really good) friends (which are physically far from me). I feel so alone that it hurts, but at the same time it's so hard to be with other people.
But it's not all bad! I try to endure it with philosophy and humor. And now I'm glad that I posted here, because some time ago I wouldn't have done it. I hope I can participate in this forum, where I see there are really nice and interesting people. If it works just not to feel so alone for us, then it's great.
I'm sorry if I use weird verbs or strange phrases in English. I'm from Spain and English it's not my main tongue.
Thank you for reading, and sorry for this long introduction.
I just discovered this website a little time ago. I have to admit that I was glad to find it but I got a bit scared too. I haven't been able for years to participate in forums or get involved with other people (not even on the internet).
I'm 22 and I have improved myself in terms of interpersonal relationships. I tried to train myself for a better and more natural communication, and it worked. I can talk to other people without so much fear and I guess I look normal for others, but that doesn't mean I'm really happy with that. Being "integrated" hasn't made me feel better, nor happier. Curiosly it made me feel even more alone.
I'm at the point where things are going good, in the way that I have finished my studies, I have succeed in it, I know what I want to do in my life and I have many objetives, but I'm feeling so emtpy and alone. None of these things have made me feel happier nor less alone. When I'm around people I feel like a strange, like if I have nothing to do with them, like if we don't even speak the same language.
At first loneliness was fine. I felt so liberated, without fear and nothing that could affect me. But now this loneliness is becoming frightening. And the worst is that I've pushed away my friends along the years, to the point that I just can consider two (but really good) friends (which are physically far from me). I feel so alone that it hurts, but at the same time it's so hard to be with other people.
But it's not all bad! I try to endure it with philosophy and humor. And now I'm glad that I posted here, because some time ago I wouldn't have done it. I hope I can participate in this forum, where I see there are really nice and interesting people. If it works just not to feel so alone for us, then it's great.
I'm sorry if I use weird verbs or strange phrases in English. I'm from Spain and English it's not my main tongue.
Thank you for reading, and sorry for this long introduction.
