Hi everyone, I'm new to this forum. I am not much of a forum writer either. However, about a year ago I had my first panic attack. I had just moved back in with my parents after getting into some legal trouble. I woke up with severe stomach aches and i tried to ignore it then i started shaking uncontrollably so i went to try and wake someone up but i couldnt find myself to talk, i sat in my moms room and my shaking woke her up. She was concerned and i told her i cant stop shaking and my heart is pounding, then i started to get dizzy and my heart was racing more and more, i took my blood pressure and it was normal ( I dont think it is normal to have low blood pressure as mentioned before) However my heart rate was very high in the 120-140 bpm range i went to the hospital and they didnt tell me much just put me on a lot of muscle relaxers until i finally fell asleep. I have had these every once in a while ever since. I probably have at least one or two very bad ones every month. Its starting to make me avoid being alone. I am only 20 years old and i dont make it out anymore i used to be a big party guy who chased a lot of girls and now im more concerned with my health. I have been prescribed all kinds of medicines, i was in jail for one and that was awful. valium, clonazepam, ativan, and i just got a new one, citalopram. It seems that all of these drugs seem to cause me to have more panic because of the side effects, everything i read says it gets worse for a few weeks before it gets better and medicines really dont appeal to me. I have had what seems like a million panic attacks in the past year and i know that im not going to die but when youre having one you become so sure the worst is about to happen. I think the only things that can cause any comfort is letting yourself know it wont kill you, you probably know if youve had a lot of them that its just your brain messing with you. It helps me to be around people and have people assure me that they wont let anything bad happen to me. I just wish there was some way to get them gone forever, i have developed a jealousy towards everyone who gets to live a normal life and i get really sad when i look back and think of my life that was before i had a panic attack or worried about having them at all times. im currently wearing a heart monitor to ensure its not my heart. i have had an ultrasound of my heart, it looked fine structurally, ive had a brain mri and it was pretty normal, i have an ultrasound of my abdomen scheduled for xmas eve because my doctor thinks i might have a stomach problem that is triggering a panic attack since stomach discomforture usually comes first for me. so as you can imagine my medical bills are huge. If anyone has any advice.... please please. I would also like to mention the about the tattoo i got a tattoo done a little while after i had my first panic attack and i had a similar experience while getting that done, but my artist tells me that it was common because your adrenaline gets pumping and if you have panic disorder this will cause a panic attack because panic attacks are cause by your adrenaline not being able to be controlled. I wouldnt recommend getting tattoos if you have panic disorder.