koyaanisqatsi
Well-known member
This may sound frivilous, but this question, or rather my inability to answer it, has troubled me for some time. I ask it as a life-long depressed, SPic. As I've grown older, the question seems more pressing, more urgent, and worst of all more relevant to me.
The question: What makes people continue on? Why do we, and I don't just mean us SPics, keep going about our daily business as best we can? I'm a fairly observant person wrt to people in general. As for me, I keep trying, but just a little, even though I seem to just keep sliding downhill, everything in my life getting worse by the day or so it seems. I don't want to list the things that are now troubling me now--it's far too long. I will make the list and post if asked to do so. I manage to get out of bed at some point during the day, try to get some exercise in ( the only relief I get from extremely serious mental distress ), occasionally look for a job, etc.... Medications provide some relief, but not much. I don't know why I keep trying anymore...haven't known for years.
And I look at people around me ( the observant part ). I see so many people, none of whom smile at me or others. Few people look happy, and most appear to be miserable to varying degrees---truly like a scene from the movie Koyaanisqatsi ( Google ). In the area in which I live, the main outlets are overeating, getting drunk, and getting really drunk. None of these things make people happy...it's a short-term diversion at best. I no longer drink. I quite drinking many years ago because I was well into the "getting really drunk" territory.
So I ask "what keeps _you_ going"? What's the point? I know there are people who have it far worse than I in so many ways, but I simply cannot see a reason for me to keep going anymore. I don't see what I have to gain. It appears that the remainder of my life will be just as difficult and even less happy as in the past.
But what about you people in this group. What keeps _you_ going? I don't think I've ever had an answer to that question for myself, but I could once make some things in my life work and ignore the rest. I can no longer do that. I apologize if I've depressed anyone.
"I want to love but I don't have long,
I want to live but I don't belong,
I close my eyes and I see blood and roses..."
(Blood and Roses--The Smithereens)
k.
The question: What makes people continue on? Why do we, and I don't just mean us SPics, keep going about our daily business as best we can? I'm a fairly observant person wrt to people in general. As for me, I keep trying, but just a little, even though I seem to just keep sliding downhill, everything in my life getting worse by the day or so it seems. I don't want to list the things that are now troubling me now--it's far too long. I will make the list and post if asked to do so. I manage to get out of bed at some point during the day, try to get some exercise in ( the only relief I get from extremely serious mental distress ), occasionally look for a job, etc.... Medications provide some relief, but not much. I don't know why I keep trying anymore...haven't known for years.
And I look at people around me ( the observant part ). I see so many people, none of whom smile at me or others. Few people look happy, and most appear to be miserable to varying degrees---truly like a scene from the movie Koyaanisqatsi ( Google ). In the area in which I live, the main outlets are overeating, getting drunk, and getting really drunk. None of these things make people happy...it's a short-term diversion at best. I no longer drink. I quite drinking many years ago because I was well into the "getting really drunk" territory.
So I ask "what keeps _you_ going"? What's the point? I know there are people who have it far worse than I in so many ways, but I simply cannot see a reason for me to keep going anymore. I don't see what I have to gain. It appears that the remainder of my life will be just as difficult and even less happy as in the past.
But what about you people in this group. What keeps _you_ going? I don't think I've ever had an answer to that question for myself, but I could once make some things in my life work and ignore the rest. I can no longer do that. I apologize if I've depressed anyone.
"I want to love but I don't have long,
I want to live but I don't belong,
I close my eyes and I see blood and roses..."
(Blood and Roses--The Smithereens)
k.