havent tried enough

lonelee1

lonelee1

Well-known member
im kinda sad. i looked at my life and it is really kind of sad. i know we shouldn't compare ourselves to other people or go by their 'shoulds' and stuff, but sometimes its really hard not to. what's helping me right now is to refute the negative thoughts. it's really hard for me to not care what other people think. i try really hard to keep living. i graduated with a college degree, took me 8 years to do this because of my 'disorders'. but now that i'm coming out from them, there's pain in seeing all i haven't accomplished and how far ahead other people i know are. but all that is false right? i've done the best i can. i can only try harder. i can't accept criticism. i don't know if i should or not. am i 'dead weight'? maybe. it hurts to look at that. but i can only do so much. i try not to judge others but i know they're judging me. maybe i can shrug it off, i've had problems, i've tried my best, i will keep trying and go harder at it.
besides, happiness and feeling more even is the only thing a human should do. and that's success to me, i guess. is that rationalization? i don't know. maybe i'm thinking wrong but stuff's making me depressed as hell.
 
I

ImNotMyIllness

Well-known member
Carpe Diem. Seize the day! Forget about the past, it's done and over with. Focus on what you're doing NOW.......otherwise, you're going to end up wasting more years of your life.
You can't move forward if you're always looking backwards.
 
lonelee1

lonelee1

Well-known member
ur right, ive got to keep the past out. i hate that. when little things make you remember you've messed up your life.
must. go. on.
will. go. on.
 
planemo

planemo

Well-known member
to the misinformed and to the ignorant people who judge me based on their abilities, yes i'm "lazy", "doesn't try hard enough", "is always looking for sympathy", "takes the easy way out" and "is over privileged" etc.

but i'm none of these things. to just survive a day with my excessive anxiety means that i accomplish in one day more than they accomplish in a whole week. and i know it's the same for you and for all of us on this site.

i think what depresses me most is that the best outcome for all my effort is just knowing i survived and nothing more. for others they thrive as opposed to just surviving. so when you look at yourself and then compare yourself to others you feel you have accomplished less, but if the playing feels were level for us all - i don't think that would be the case. i think we would thrive too.

i think we do accomplish things although not comparable or relative to others. it gets one down, and i can understand why. but ultimately we can only do the best we can and as long as you do that, you can't ask anything more of yourself, even if it seems short of what others can do.
 
Opaline

Opaline

1
Not to make you feel worse... but I sort of feel the same way. And I kind of agree. It's impossible to not compare ourselves to other people at all. Part of being human is seeing how we're doing in relation to others. We're competitive by nature. But look around, all animals are. Hell even plants are. That's life - competition in some form (although... comparing yourself to other humans is not competition per se, but generally that's what comes of it or the reason for it. I suppose for most of us it's out of a desire to make sure we're "normal").

But I do think there's a balance. We can use certain things to clue us in as to where we might generally want to be in our lives, but there is of course no rulebook saying we must graduate college by a certain age, must be married by another age, etc. If you deviate from the traditional path, nothing wrong with it. It can make some things more difficult, I have to concede that. But we're meant to overcome difficulty. So there's certainly plenty of hope for you :)
 
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rosewood

rosewood

Well-known member
i wonder what it would look like if all of those people we cant help but compare ourselves to, and think ourselves coming up short, were to be given our SA or other issues to deal with? How far in life or how many accomplisments would they be able to do? Would they feel a surge of compassion for those suffering with these problems? And if we saw how they managed or didnt manage so well, maybe we would finally be able to perceive ourselves in a less critical way? What do you think?
 
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