Have you told anyone?

[summer]

For years i have thought i was just shy but recently i have realised i have an anxiety problem and decided to surf the net to find out exactly what i was suffering from and if i was the only one who felt this way.
I have now discovered i am suffering from social phobia but i feel ashamed and embarrased to mention this to anyone, i feel they will think i'm making it up and making excuses for not wanting to join in with certain occasions that i can't cope with.
I am curious to know has anyone on this forum told someone about their Social Phobia and what was the reaction you got. Did they believe you, or look at you like you were a head case? Does the dr give you any sort of note to prove that you really do have a phobia?
I'm scared i may not be able to keep a job in the career that i enjoy and have spent 2 years training for all because of this horrible phobia.

 

[sidney]

Hey Summer, yes i've told people about my SP and it has helped me. I told my parents to start with, and explained that i looked it up so you have proof so they cant say your nuts, if further proof is needed show them this forum cus we all have it
My parents made me go to doc's about it and he understood it aswell and gave me various techniques to try or can offer you drugs if its really bad, also i've told one of my teachers in skool and although she might not understand it completely she had to listen to me cus my doctor diagnosed me with it, now she helps with class arrangements so that i feel more comfortable and i can talk to her if i need to =]
i hope this helps, but just know that its very hard to do by yourself, so plan what your going to say e.g what you really want people to hear and understand about SP, maybe what you find hardest and just tell them,i really think it will help
P.S get them to read some good sites about it to help them understand

 

[Johno]

Summer

Hey, Summer

I know how you feel. Sometimes expressing how you feel doesn't always give you the desired result. I will say this to you. Let them know that you have certain issues. Then pursue your goals and don't look back. Don't get caught up with the whole SA issue. Just fight it. It's hard I know. I know because I threw away a perfectly good career as an aircraft engineer. Just my thoughts

 

[summer]

Thankyou.
Its just i feel its going to be so hard to explain without people thinking i'm strange or crazy. Hell, i didn't even know SP exsisted untill a few days ago when i started to try and figure out whats been wrong with me all my life. But i feel i may need to give my work placement an explenation as to why i can't do public displays where it involves lots of people looking at me. I just cant bring myself to do it and they think that im being rude and igronant.
I work in a pre-school and love it but we had to go on a reindeer walk through a busy town with horns on heads and red noses and then carol sing outside the busiest store in town.
It sounds funny now i'm typing it and i know its a really silly thing to be afraid of but i just couldnt do the dressing up thing and the whole morning was really difficult for me.
The moment i found out what we were doing I really felt like walking out the door and saying i cant do this job rather than have people watching me. I love my job, its only the public displays i cant cope with.
I can just about cope with most situations i find hard but i really cant cope with lots of people looking at me and no one understands.

 

[Butterflies]

Hi Summer - I know your pain. Many times I have vommitted in private, endured migranes and embarrassment on the job.

The thing is - if you really want to, and you're willing to be patient and persistent - you can eventually do the things that you want to.

If you don't want to do public displays then don't do them - but if you want to - then do everything in your power to start getting help to cope with your social anxiety. The thing is - you can do it. Maybe not now. But in the future. Don't miss out on doing things. You can get help. The feeling of overcomming each obstacle in small steps (and no matter how small) is fantasic and will be worth the effort.

It's a challenge - but you can do it if you're persistent and work hard.

I'll admit I have only ever told one person about my anxiety - they have helped me immensly. If you tell someone you trust maybe they are willing to work beside you "hold your hand" so to speak until you can do it on your own.

It would be great to hear how you've handled this situation. Please keep us posted.

 

[Generical]

Yeah i only found out about sa about a month ago, pretty much when i joined the forum and from finally having a name and enough info about it has made me able to talk about it relatively well. Ive started telling a few friends about it and they never will think your a head case as long as you explain it well. But i found out that just talking about it and getting it off your chest really helps and people are definitely going to support you. It is a lot easier for me to talk about it i guess as i'm getting over it now, i basically searched for it on the internet to find out what the hell stole 5 years of my life and stopped me from experiencing anything more than a 12 year old has! ....................am 19 now and im so behind with my life :x

 

[doogiebklyn]

I'm 42 now and developed SA from my mid 20's and only in my mid 30's did I really understand what I was feeling. I remember when those first Paxil commercials came out on TV - and I thought - that is just how I feel!

Only this year did I come out and tell my gf. I have lost friendships and relationships in the past due to my SA behavior. I did not want this to happen again. My gf has been amazingly supportive. And if she had not been, well then should would not be the person that I should be with. I have also told my sister. She believes me and my many years of erratic behavior of canceling, no-showing, not answering phone, etc.

I have not told my parents or anyone that I work with. But I don't really care anymore if anyone finds out. I have manage to rid of the shame as I have don't nothing wrong to contract SA and I'm a good person.

Douglas

 

[alter_ego]

I've suffered from social anxiety all my life but it's only in the last few years I've begun to realise there was a name for it. Prior to that, I just thought of myself as being painfully shy, with all the associated self-criticism that shyness brings (you know, those soul-destroying thoughts like I must be weird etc). I've been amazed to learn that some people develop social anxiety later in life, that they can have been okay until then, so I guess it can happen to anyone.

Well, back to the question "Have you told anyone?" Hmm, I've tried but I don't think most people get it. The vast majority of people feel nervous before job interviews or going out to the pub etc so they say "Oh, I get like that too!" not understanding the level of our anxiety.

And, unlike many socially anxious people, I enjoy talking tho I'm more relaxed with people I feel comfortable with and in small groups. I kind of back out of the conversation and feel very, very anxious if anyone who makes me feel uneasy is around. My colleagues were laughing in disbelief in work today because I said I was naturally quiet!!! :roll:

I'm hypersenstitive about criticism and I'm always worrying about what people think of me so I KNOW my problem is social phobia but I generally tell people I suffer from anxiety and depression. Somehow they relate to that better. :roll: