spearmint- It is a prelude to suicide or what? I remebr reading someones post that made a very good point for this. They said that cutting is the complete opisite of suicide, where cutting is a method used to survive and suicide is a way to end, but then at the same time, isnt that kind of the same thing?
tryin- Thank you for the reply, i try hard to stop it. And when ever i begin to make progress, something will happen and i will cut on impulse, as if i have no control. Im not sure what you can do, but talking about helps me out and makes me feel not so alone.

i apprciate the fact that you care
danfalc- You have been a very big help, and i really appreciate you replying to my posts and giving me advice, and telling me sotries of your pass which relate to mine. Im sorry to hear that you have suffered from problems simlir to mine and i hope that you are working through them ok now

I agree with you that i might regeret telling my friends, thats why this forums is really helping me and my need to talk to someone.
I can assure you i dont cut for attention, becuase the truth is i dont want anyoen to know and i am doing all i can to hid the cuts so noone will see them. im really glad you understand what kind of feeling i am having and dont think im some overdramtic teenager, it really means alot to me.
My friend found a razor blade in my purse the other day, and i made up so lame excuse why it was in there.. i dont think she belived me but she didnt act on it even if she didnt belive me. I think it scared her, alot. I always need to keep it wiht me at all times, and if i dotn have it i feel unsafe and get extrmely upset. Its terrble.
I will start cleaning my cuts like you said, and i will try to use your pillow method next time, but im not sure i will be able to resist the impulse. Are you steadily improving today? I really hope you are.

[/b]