Has anyone here ever felt like the black sheep in their family?

[PerseverareJasmine]

I've always felt like one in mine. For one thing, for as long as I can remember I've had a different taste in the music I listen to, the shows I watch, the activities I enjoy doing, etc than the rest of my family. I've always put in the effort to give the things they like a try, and they've always done the same for me, but at times it felt like it was a strained effort on both our parts, just something we were doing because otherwise we wouldn't be spending much time together due to us having such different opinions on things. The biggest difference between me, my dad, my mom, and my sister however is that they are generally very extroverted when in public, while I on the other hand, am very shy, nervous, and quiet. They can go out and look people right in their eyes or can strike up a conversation with a random stranger, while I get a little nervous just talking to a cashier while I'm purchasing something, and have problems with holding eye contact. They've never quite understood why I am the way I am, and they've called me out on it often, saying things like "Why are you so nervous around people?" or "Just act like you do when you're in the house". I honestly can't blame them because even I wish all of my anxiety about being around people could just recede over night, and that I could act around strangers how I act around my family, and I know that my family loves me and wants what's best for me, but sometimes I feel its as if they are embarrassed to go out in public with me by the way they act towards my shyness and anxiety. Sometimes I wish they could understand that it is something I've been working on, and that no matter how much I wish it could be possible, that its not simply going to fade away overnight. So, my question is, has anyone else felt like this as well?

 

[MikeyC]

You seem to have a decent family, but I think it comes down to them not really understanding anxiety, not the fact that they dislike who you are.

 

[ImNotMyIllness]

I'm the two headed purple sheep in my family. Although, my family is like a traveling circus but I'm definitely the most introverted of the group.

The world can't be made up of all extroverts. Imagine that?! It would be crazy! We introverts are like a quiet scenic sunset amid the honking and yelling of city life. Shy people are needed!! Although, being shy can really suck. And there is a fine line between being shy and having it control your life. Agoraphobia would be an example of the latter.

Men have sang and written about the beautiful shy maiden. It has/is a coveted quality. I know it doesn't seem like it. I'm just trying to give you a more positive (and balanced) understanding of being introverted.

I think it's cool that you like different things from your family. It means that you're special and unique...not just another cookie cut. So, celebrate that fact. You sound very cool.

Do challenge yourself but also celebrate your individuality and special-ness. Try not to worry about what others think. People are fickle and constantly change their minds anyway. Be yourself, be proud and continue to do the things that bring you joy.

Remember. You are special!

 

[PerseverareJasmine]

Thanks you guys for replying. Deep down I recognize that you both are right, and that they do love me unconditionally, but sometimes I get caught up in playing the victim and it becomes easy to forget that it all boils down to them not quite understanding my anxiety. Just like how they try to work on understanding the way I am, I likewise need to work on forgiving them for some of the comments they make and come to accept that me and my family just have different perspectives on things and it can be hard to put ourselves in the other's shoes. Thanks again .