Goodbye

[Vonnie]

Hey,

I realized I've made a mistake joining this site. I thought I would feel comfortable here but it seems the more I shared what I'm going through, the worst I feel. I thought I would feel better :?: My therapist thought it would be a good idea to do this or either join group therapy offline. She's wrong and I'm just not ready. But...it was nice meeting you all. Take care and I wish you the best!

 

[bluenow]

That's too bad, you seem to be very likable. Do you feel exposed? I joined recently and feel exposed when I post - like right now. Up for critique and so worried about hurting somebody's feelings. So that makes me feel worse being here. But I'll keep posting till they kick me out or till I get over it.

 

[miraculousmum]

Hey Vonnie
Sometimes things need to get a little worse before they can get better. It's not easy talking about your feelings, especially if you're not used t it. But we can all relate to you, so please stick around.

 

[young]

My therapist thought it would be a good idea to do this or either join group therapy offline. She's wrong and I'm just not ready. But...it was nice meeting you all. Take care and I wish you the best!

she is actually right. For someone with sa and fear of talking to people. the only way to actually overcome that is to face it head on. It's not going to be an easy task. But giving up or running from it isn't going to make it go away. The only way to get better is to want to get better. If you don't want to then your not going to. Now matter what you do. Deep down you'll just sabatoge your own efforts. I have problems with talking to people myself. I'm not one to go out of my way to strike up a conversation with someone. But for me it's a lot easier to talk online that in person. Since you're hiding behind a monitor and a screename. if someone doesn't like you. You change names and try again. Noone would be the wiser.

 

[young]

somebody might read my words, disapprove and say so.

And what's wrong with that? Everyone is entitled to their opinions. Cuase you say something that someone doesn't agree with. Doesn't make you an idiot. Or make you any less of a human being. And those that make fun of you for saying something. Are jerks themselves. Who just say things cause they are starving for attention.

 

[Vonnie]

I'm back and decided to give it another try. It's just soooo scary. I've never done anything like this before. My therapist has told me numerous times to join group therapy, get to know other people who have SA, it'll make you feel better to know you're not alone. I'll tell her, look, I'm a person who was always told (my family) to keep things to yourself. Don't let anyone know your business or be careful to say anything. My mother and sister, they're not emotional like me, always in control of their feelings and nothing seems to affect them. I'm the one who was always very sensitive and emotional, and so I felt different from them and everyone else in my family.

After reading your replies, I'm very grateful for your loving and warm support. I'm grateful you've shared what you all go through with SA and now I don't feel alone. Young, you're right, my therapist suggested a good idea. I'm so afraid to take the next step because all my life, I've held everything inside. I've kept what I felt under strict control. But, everyone here, you're right. I can't keep running away from myself and avoiding relationships with people. I had a bad day today when getting on the bus (on my way to see my therapist). I thought I had more money on my metro card and when I sat down, the driver said, miss? You have nothing on that card. I felt so embarrassed on a crowded bus! I said to myself, ok, I'm not getting on the bus or do anything outside anymore. Then I calmed down and thought, wait, is that going to help me feel better? To hide, to keep running from fear and let it win? Yes, I'm tired of allowing SA to control my life and then I decided to come back here.

I'll pace myself this time and again, thank you so much for listening and helping me feel better. HUGS!

 

[young]

I used to have that same problem. I used to worry about things all the time. It used to make me sick to my stomach. Now i tend to not let others think of me get me down. Well i don't really have much to lose these days. What always keeps me from talking to people. Is this huge fear of rejection I have. Which is weird since i already know that i don't have much to lose. Nor care what others think of me. I still have that fear.

 

[Vonnie]

I just wanted Vonnie to know we understand and have been there. And to encourage her not to retreat to far.

Hang around, Vonnie. Lurk as a guest if you must. Sign in when you feel you can.

I will Harvey. Thanks again for the encouragement! I'll be around and like I've said, I'll take it slow and won't pressure myself. Great to meet you all!

 

[Vonnie]

I used to have that same problem. I used to worry about things all the time. It used to make me sick to my stomach. Now i tend to not let others think of me get me down. Well i don't really have much to lose these days. What always keeps me from talking to people. Is this huge fear of rejection I have.

That's one of my big fears, rejection. Also, if I say something, what if I sound foolish or offended someone. What makes it worse, I also have OCD and so I'll obsess over and over about these things 8O

 

[bluenow]

Hello Vonnie - Welcome back

 

[Vonnie]

Thanks, bluenow

 

[redlady]

Hey Vonnie glad you decided to stick around. I was very nervous about posting when i first joined up and now look at me - soon you will feel more comfortable - you know the people here are pretty fantastic, no nasties - you will soon see that for yourself. :wink:

 

[Tanya_S]

Nice to see u have decided to give this another try

 

[Vonnie]

Thanks for the encouragement, redlady!

 

[Vonnie]

Hi, Tanya! Yeah, I had a really good session with my therapist today and she told me not to give up. So far, I'm meeting very nice people here and that's the positive thing I'll focus on

 

[Vonnie]

Hiya thoughtless

Hey Steve!

Yestisbabe, I'm feeling a little more comfortable now. And you joined in July? See, that made me think about something... to give myself time to adjust and If I'm feeling overwhelmed, just take a break. There's nothing wrong with that.

McShy...lol...nice to meet you. I'm glad you decided to stay, too

 

[joshueg]

Vonnie, i am so sorry that you have to leave this forum. I don' t really know about your problems, but would be pleased to help you somehow.
I won' t forget your welcoming me as soon as i checked in.

I HOPE YOU ARE NOT BAD AND WISH YOU THE BEST.

THANK YOU FOR EVERYTHING.

 

[Vonnie]

Hey Joshueg,

At first I thought about leaving because I was too overwhelmed. Everything was new for me, but now I'm ok so I'll be around. It's just that I'm not feeling well physically. Been having this lingering sore throat and fatigue that's not going away... :?: You're welcome! And thanks, I would appreciate your help! That's really nice of you

 

[Lost_Nomad]

Hi vonnie.

 

[Vonnie]

Hey Lost_Nomad, nice to meet you!