Good Days and Bad Days..it can change in the blink of an eye

[KrazieWilla]

I spend my day at work with free access to the internet and my email. I feel like I need to check my email every 5 min (no exageration). I pray that someone, anyone would email me. My boyfriend usually emails me several times, but realistically he needs to get work done. I feel like if someone (especially the bf) doesnt email me something is wrong.
I am the same way about my phone.
I worry on Monday-Friday will me and my bf spend time together. We have been together a year and I am still not comfortable knowing we will spend time together. Which is stupid because we spend at least one day every weekend together.
I also have what I call "ticks". When someone says something or something is anounced on the PA system, I have to comment.
I try and do activities that would take my mind off of the thoughts, but I seem to be able to do both. I with draw and just want to be alone while in one of these moods.

I know realistically that just because someone isnt paying attention to you at the moment that it doesnt mean they dont like you anymore. But my mind doesnt keep this clear. I feel as tho my world is crashing around me.

I have only been tested for and have Dyslexia.
I have had to take anxiety meds and depressions meds before as well.
I am 37 years old...kind old to still be playing this game and tired of it.

Does anyone have any suggestions?

 

[ocdgirl]

i am not a doctor, but I am willing to offer advice

for ocd sufferers, our brain send out signals to increase our fear over somethign that's not that big of a deal. when your boyfriend don't pay attention to you for 1 second/min/hour. you might start thinking, he doens't love me, i'm not attractive to him, etc. you probably have tried to say to urself, yes he does, if he doens't he won't be with me, etc. what will help you now is to actually stop conforting yourself and tell yourself, maybe he doens't love me. this will be very hard at first but yoru body will sooner or later get used to that it's not a threat to you and the anxiety would go down. This is called esposure response therapy that has worked for millions of ocd sufferers. you can look it up online or ask me for my advice.good luck