Going back to college, have no clue how to talk to people

[InTheShadows]

I tried posting this asking for advice on Yahoo Answers but all I get is idiots saying "beer and drugs" or "grow some balls" so i thought I'd ask on here as people here will probably know what I mean better.


I am going back to College (UK style college, not US style college) in September after a couple of years of not doing much. Anyway let's get to the point, my question is how do I make friends, I'm extremly shy (probably even have Social Phobia) and find it really hard to talk to people, the thing is I don't want to be the guy who always sits on his own and never takes part in class. I went to the same college about 3 years ago and met some cool people who I see now and then to this day, but that was only because they came over to me, I would like to make some proper friends, who I cna see often , or even meet the "girl of my dreams" but have no clue how to go about it. I'd appreciate any advice, I'm 19 btw.

 

[sabbath92002]

I'm not sure about the making friends part because I really don't have many. But as far as being part of the class, smile and speak up, if you think you have something to add to a discussion, speak your mind. Don't be afraid you'll make a fool of yourself, we are all humans and we all make mistakes. At first it's really hard to speak up, but the more you do it, the easier it gets.

 

[dottie]

what is the difference between uk college and us college?

i think sabbath summed it up. if people see you are participating and you seem friendly they will be more apt to approach you. if you pass by someone in your class, say hi and smile- especially if you are in a group with them. sometimes around campus people will say, "hi, dottie!" and i won't even recognize who they are. i feel kind of guilty and embarrassed but it makes me feel good to be recognized (and surprised). if you have a project coming up maybe suggest working on it together and then going out for lunch after if you feel it is appropriate at some point.

but i am in us college and have no idea what uk college is.

 

[Len]

I am not really good at making friends myself but I thought I would give some advice on how I would approach the situation.

1) First of all smile and relax - if you look nervous and fidgety people may avoid you
2) Icebreaker questions - it seems oh so simple. Once you get an icebreaker question in then it is easy to either start a conversation or talk to them next time since the person will be confident enough that the social conventions have been aptly met - in other words they won't think you are this freak who is just randomly talking to them. So how about...
Q. Hey man, is this your first year at college? Did you come straight from school?
3) Ask the person if they know a good place to have coffee or lunch - he/she might show you around.
4) Talk about sport, television, the Batman movie you watched
5) Just act natural and I am sure you will be alright. Remember, everyone else is in the same boat as you.

Well thats about all the advice I can muster. Good luck!