Getting chills when speaking to someone in authority

[ld323]

Does this happen to anyone here? I always get these weird chills when I'm speaking to someone that has some type of control over my job or finances. For example a boss or a person I'm trying to sell something to. It's like I'm so terrified of what they might think of me that my body goes into some kind of a shock. I know it's rediculous in my mind and I should not be thinking this way, but my mind has no control over the reaction. It sucks. I just wish I could control ALL of my thoughts at ALL times. I would almost prefer to have this ability than to win the lottery.

 

[recluse]

This is very common in non sa sufferers leave alone people like us. At work i panic whenether a boss comes towards me, this is one reason why i can't possibly ask for a pay rise. Really anyone who wears a shirt and tie scares the shit out of me!

 

[tool1919]

It's REALLY bad for me too. I totally avoid my boss as much as possible because my automatic reaction, and i mean every time, is to start shaking, sweating, blushing etc. I think she's learnt to just make things as quick as possible and let me get back to it. I feel like such a loser every time.

 

[BreakingFree]

Fear of Authority Figures

Do you think our few of authority figures stems from the fear of one/both of our parents?Never meeting their expectations? Always falling short no matter how hard you try?

I know for sure there is nothing I can door or say that will make my mother approve of me, save for being at her beck and call, virtually her slave! I doubt even that will be enough! She is good with criticising but no compliments or note of approval.

Is that what we secretly fear,our bossess judgement and falling short? Believing we are not good enough and carrying that with us and projecting it onto other authority figures?

From what I have read some of us had pretty healthy childhoods, but where does their SA comes from?

 

[tpdarlo]

I have this problem. Not just people of authority but also confident people, attractive people etc. My therapist tells me I need to rationalize why I shouldn't be anxious about these situations and then refocus my mind away from these anxious thoughts. One way to do this is really focus on what the person is saying, focus on every word they say. Once you focus intently your brain will be too busy to be anxious, and you will then be able to contribute to the conversation. It takes a lot of practise.

 

[ld323]

Re: Fear of Authority Figures

Do you think our few of authority figures stems from the fear of one/both of our parents?Never meeting their expectations? Always falling short no matter how hard you try?

Actually for me, I get nervous with an authority figure that has some control over my finances, namely my job. Therefore my 2 main bosses can make me very nervous because I know in the back of my mind they can fire me at any time, thus making me scramble to find another job. Which means I might potentially lose my home/car/etc. etc.

I'm also in telesales and when I speak to clients my mind will often go blank and my voice will quiver if it's a very large 'account'. I feel if they sense that I am nervous and not articulate about my product they will go elsewhere. So I guess for me, my fear stems from potentially losing money. Not that I'm materialistic, but money just for basic survival. I guess there is also an underlying fear element of making sure I don't let my parents down by becoming 'homeless' and losing everything... I've got siblings that are currently having financial problems..

 

[PhantomPod]

Yes, this happens to me too. My legs and arms get all tingly and numb. And my throat gets all tight, as if if I tried to utter a word my voice would be ridiculously shaky.

 

[Richey]

yup! my manager is ex-army too so its alot more intense then your average head honcho, he's super arrogant and confident which of course is great traits to have in certain situations but its a little too intense, everything is always disgustingly enthuseastic but also panicky and in your face, it all feels "fake" to me, putting up a tough front to show off rather then just being your true self ..

people like this are so needy as well when those levels are turned up to full throttle ..

 

[Rabindranath]

I'm with tpdarlo. I do this kind of chimpanzee social hierarchy thing whenever I meet someone. If they're "above" me I get all flustered. If they're "below" me or "at my level" I'm completely relaxed. I've had work supervisors that were 10 years younger than me and I behaved around them like I was 12. I used to feel so guilty and ashamed about feeling comfortable and relaxed with certain people because they were "below" me in my screwed up head. Or I was mean, sarcastic or at least impatient with them. People above me on the other hand are like little gods. It's so fucked up.

Another weird manifestation of this is that before I was married I used to lean on the Social Anxiety and turn it into this kind of sensitive guy/emo thing which irritated the hell out of most people but endeared me to a small group of women. So, I had pretty much all women friends. Most men intimidated me and I had a really hard time relaxing with them and making friends with them which of course freaked me out... Then I got married and now I can barely talk to women--ESPECIALLY if they're good looking--and have pretty much 95% male friends.