Getting a life from nothing...

aj said: ↑

In some ways I'm a lot like that. Speaking about myself personally it feels like an inferiority/superiority complex. Take drinking. I've never even been drunk and I wish that I could have a good time like that. The thought of doing it is scary. Yet at the same time I feel good that I don't go out getting drunk. Figure that one out.

I just don't see the reasoning for having more than one or two drinks to make you feel more comfortable or relaxed whilst socialising. There is no need to go out to a club/pub with the sole intention to get absolutely filled with the stuff and become inebriated. For those who do have that intention, I think it's pretty immature: "Oh, look what happens when I do this! Hehehehe." 🙄

For example, if you were visiting Granny, you wouldn't have fifteen cups of tea, would you? You'd have one or two over a visit.

I hate it when people say that they 'got drunk' at the weekend. That's it. 'I got drunk.' I think that's a sad way to live if you have to do that to be happy. Then I look at my own life and realise that it's so crap that I want to join them...

Pinker said: ↑

I don't agree at all. I think the correct term is depression or depersonalisation.

My diet is extremely good, and I play sports, but it doesn't help in these feelings.

Hi Pinker,

You're probably right about the term, but I'm not big on labeling "disorders." I'll leave that to the pharmaceutical giants who create new labels on a daily basis to sell their pills. Do they have a pill for "internet addiction" yet? I totally should have bought stock in Pfizer. :🙁:

Have you had your hormone and neurotransmitter levels checked? I think they do this with a saliva test, but I could be mistaken.

You can be eating incredibly healthy and still have low levels of minerals, hormones and neurotransmitters. Check out "The Ultramind Solution" by Dr. Mark Hyman.

And I'm not saying faulty nutrition is the only cause of SA. Sometimes it's a cause and other times it's a supporting factor.

SteveW said: ↑

This works, in theory. But I think the fact people are on here in the first place means that there is something stopping that from happening. For example, I have a few interests - cars, photography, music, drawing, reading, but the area I live in doesn't cater for it.

In general, the people in my area have no interests other than going to get drunk most nights or weekends. If they have cars, they are chavved up Saxos and Corsas and such like - mine are classics... Most people here like rap, RnB, dance and trance music - I like rock and generally older (80s) stuff.

I'm more mature, perhaps cynical, I don't drink and am certainly not outgoing or like attention to myself like these do. I like to think I'm intelligent as well, I type in English and nt ct dwn txt spk like a lot of people here do. It's irritating how everyone seems to follow one another, do the same things and have the same kind of tastes - it's common and not individual in the slightest. I might be my own person, but boy, do I get out-cast for it.

So, when I step out of my house, what am I going to do? Pretend to like what everyone else likes just to fit in?

I think the worst thing you can do is try to fit in just for the sake of making friends. But isolating yourself is not a good solution either. Try meetup.com. If you can't find any decent groups in your area, start your own. You could try other local message boards where people are into photography or old cars and put together a meetup once a month. You could take classes on photography or art, join a book club... I'm just spitting stuff out here but I'm sure you can come up with some better ideas.

The trick is to stop focusing on all the "why nots" and work on finding solutions. Your unconscious mind is designed to keep you from moving forward but you can decide whether or not to let it run the show. It's always your choice.

Pinker said: ↑

Hi Jay,

I've had blood tests, I presume my hormone levels are all normal because nothing was ever said, it was initially to check my thyroid which was normal. I don't know about a saliva test, I don't think the doctors would give me the time of day. I have been told it's all due to low serotonin levels (the supposed cause of depression), but i've asked if this in itself can be checked to no avail. I've been recommended medicaition but I won't take them up on it unless i'm absolutely desperate.

I guess nutrition could play a role, but I imagine it's quite difficult to tell. Unless I go for a health test, unfortunately they're quite expensive because it's a private treatment.

Hi Pinker,

The easiest and safest way to increase your serotonin levels is to take 5-htp which you can find at any health food store. It's the precursor to serotonin and many find it to be much more effective than prozac and other SSRI's.

Start with a 50mg pill twice a day and see if it helps. Just make sure to avoid taking it with protein as amino acids all compete to cross the blood brain barrier.

If this doesn't help, then your serotonin levels are not the problem.