Getting a job: The Interview

[BornAgain]

Hey everyone, I haven't posted a new topic here for a while, but right now I need help/support. Don't read this whole post if you're one of those people who get too lazy to respond to long posts (hey, sometimes I do that to!), but just skim through it and get the jist of it, because I NEED HELP!!!!!

So yeah, I am looking for a job, applying here and there, but I fucking hate it. I don't think I have SA, but my only problem is I can't make eye contact with people, and how in the hell are you supposed get hired anywhere if you don't even look at people when they talk to you or you talk to them? I'm sure some of you people have this same problem, but this shit is ruining my life. I've lost friends and such because of this crap, and I used to be normal without this "problem" about 3/4 of a year ago.

I just wanna know, to anyone who has this problem (even if you don't), what kind of job do you have and by what means did you obtain it? Everyone needs a job, but right now I feel like some kinda freak who's going to end up homeless because he never looks at people in the eye.

I hate eye contact damnit. Everytime I make it, people look at me fucking weirdly, and they stare as if I were some sort of insane mental patient, and I must say, it is driving me insane! What the fuck happened to me that, almost a year ago, turned me from a normal person to one on the verge of insanity?

Damn, every time I dare make the effort to make eye contact, it creates the most fucking awkward moment you could imagine. I'm not even a bad looking person, by some peoples standards, I am even considered hot! So why in the fucking hell do people look at me so fucking strangely? Fuck, everytime I force myself to look at someone while they're talking to me, I have an answer to their "speech" formulated before they're halfway done and I announce it before they finish they're last couple of words, which creates an even more awkward situation! I've also noticed that when people realize that I don't make eye-contact, then they generally seem very uneasy about making eye-contact with me, which is a HUGE problem with my family and friends who have realized I don't make eye-contact MONTHS ago!

The only time I make eye contact with people is if I am being aggressive, or when I'm pissed off at someone, because looking away makes you look like a pussy, and it is a form of submission.. I was no fucking pussy before this eye-contact dillema, and I sure as hell ain't no damn pussy now.!

Fuck, fuck, fuckitty, fuck fuck, fuck! Sorry about the cursing people, but I guess I'm venting little, and I'm in due for some venting!

I need a job, I need money, and I need to identify and stop whatever causes all these awkward situations.

How do I get a job? I want to work as a waiter or something, so I can "practice" and get over this eye contact thing, but every time I try I just fuck up and then lose hope. I've had 2 jobs before, my first one before this crap happened to me. The second one really sucked ass because there were cool people there that I could've been really chill with before this crap, but I couldn't because, well, I never looked at their faces, thus, never talked to them.

Not saying I'm going to kill myself, but, having a seemingly permenant awkward life sometimes makes me want to! I would also like to note that since my life consists of constant eye aversion, my neck gets and usually always is extremely stiff and sore beause I just look straight; either ahead, or down on the ground, where ever there aren't any faces.

Somebody please help, I'm young, moderately attractive, and I have very high goals and dreams. I am going to start going to community college in april (I dropped out of my senior high school year), and I would really like to meet new friends and get along with teachers and such, and I would also like to be able to concentrate on my studies without this fucking shit clouding my thoughts.

 

[BornAgain]

Hi.
I dont have the same problem with you but I do have a problem in finding work. The majority of the jobs I've had have been because I've known somebody already working there so havent had to have an interview.

You ask what happened a year ago to change you. Well what did happen? I think you need to find out why you have this problem. I felt such a huge relief when I found out why I was like the way I am and that there are others like me.

Can you get some professional help for this? It's better to get help as early as possible so it doesnt get worse

The only thing I can link this eye contact bullshit to is my hisory with ecstacy. Right around the last couple of times I used it, I noticed it with my friend and one some of my family. Then, my family set up an intervention for me, which fucking creeped me out.

My family was worried because right around when I was using E, I was kinda preaching different ways how to live and telling everyone I wanted to change the world. I was telling people how everyone is truly unhappy inside and that I knew exactly why and also that I know how to change that.

So during the intervention, they were talking to me, and staring at me, like I was some kind of outpatient mental patient, like as if I were some kind of insane psycho who needed to be institutionalized. They were telling me things like "you know al this is in your mind? none of it is real.". Kinda reminded me of that scene in A Beautiful Mind when they Nash that he's a delusional psyho, and in this real life version of that scene, I was the delusional psycho!

So then they sent me to rehab. I was not a drug addict at all. Never addicted to ecstasy, I just got sorta carried away. The only drug I abused at that time was weed, but I had no problem stopping it. My family convinced me that I needed help (when there's 8 people that you've known since childhood debating you, it's hard not to be convinced), so I willfully agreed to attend rehab.

To make a long story short, I only stayed there for two days (only sleeping there one night) because this place was bullshit, I wasn't a drug addict, and all these kids in rehab were meth-heads (a drug I've never touched) and they've all been to juvie a couple of times (a place I've never been to). So I convinced my mom and my family to let me out. This experience scarred me for life, and I'm pretty sure it has something to do with this eye contact thing.

I still hold to my "delusions" somewhat, except I now don't believe I have the power to change people, because when I tried, they stuck me in rehab thinking I was just drugged out and being non-sensical. I still believe that nobody is truly happy, and that money is one of the biggest reasons/things that cause this and cause tension and hatred between people. I've researched what it means to have delusions, and in the definitions that I've found, those are not delusions at all.

Anyways, sorry for the long response, but I just thought people should know my theory for why this happened to me. I could get professional help, but I sorta prefer not to. If you read my post about how anti-depressants are a corporate pyramid scheme, then you'll know that I've tried those to see if they will cure this eye-contact problem, but it didn't do shit AT ALL, so I was just left with the shame and humiliation (within myself and my circle of friends/family) of having taken them. I don't want to live with the shame of seeing a psychologist on top of all that.

I've read alot about psychologists, and most of them seem unwilling to help, and not genuinely concerned about their patients. I, however, want to become one someday and will hear out and listen to all my patients, and do the best of my ability to CURE, not just treat them. The thing about counselors and psychologists is that most of them only offer CBT, but I just need to understand myself better, and have someone who understands me to talk to.

It doesn't make me feel better at all, if anything it makes me feel worse, that there are other people out there with the same problem as mine. Although, I would feel a million times better if I found out why I am like this, and how I became like this. Are you saying that you think I can actually cure this problem, and the sooner the better? I hope you're right man, I've had enough of this bullshit.

I guess you understand now, why my name is BornAgain.

 

[BornAgain]

I don't want to live with the shame of seeing a psychologist on top of all that.

What's so shameful about getting help? But then again you said that they dont help anyway.

I read your other post regarding med and you never seem to of given it a chance. You were expecting the same instant results you got with E.

There are so many different medications out there, including herbal and they're not all guaranteed to work everytime for everyone. Unfortunately you do need to keep trying different ones to find one that is suitable for you.

Do you actually want to get help? Or do you just want someone to give you a magic pill that will make everything better in a flash?? You cant expect an instant cure for this. You werent entirely sure why you are like this but then you said it was probably due to rehab. You need to put some effort in yourself, help yourself too.

I've been on different medication, including herbal, some worked for me and some didnt but I didnt just give up. I've seen 5 different therapists in the space of 14 months, CBT,CPN, Art therapist and it was good to talk and get it all out but personally I didnt find that I felt any better.

I'm not on any medication but I dont feel that I need any at the moment. I'm also waiting to see a hypnotherapist. I dont know if it will work but I'm prepared to try anything if it could help me.

You seem like you're really angry and impatient. You need to help yourself too and be prepared to try different things. I dont understand how knowing there are others with this same problem makes you feel worse? For me personally it helped that there were others that knew first hand what I was going through. It's all well and good that your family and friends know but they will never understand fully how you feel until they experience it for themselves.

Have you looked for other therapy and medication you could try? Have you spoken to these people that are going through the same as you? What has or hasnt worked for them? What meds have they tried? What caused their problem?

There isnt going to be some magic pill that will have an instant effect like E. Are you still doing illegal drugs? And if you are, are they having any effect on your problem? If you were physically ill, would you know what to do/take to treat the problem? Would you have an instant effect/cure?

Stop ranting and raving that you're not getting better and help yourself. If you dont feel that a therapist will help and if you're too ashamed to go to a pyscologist then what do you want?? There isnt much help for mental health, and not as much is known about it so if somebody is willing to help you, regardless of the stigma you have attached to them, you should at least give them a try. And not just one session either. There are so many other people that would love to see someone that maybe be able to help them but either dont have the chance or have to wait months for an appointment.

I'm not gonna sugar coat things for you (no pun intended). You need to do something yourself if you're not prepared to get the help offered to you from others. And if you're not gonna get the help you need then stop moaning and put up with it. Nobody is going to want to help you if you dont want them too or if you dont believe it's going to work anyway. There are other people they can help and that want their help

Oh jeez, well here's my response to all that.

What do you mean I never gave meds a chane? I was on them for almost half a year! I felt NOTHING! Of course there are many different meds out there man, but it's all bullshit. Like I said, it'd just a corporate pyramid scheme made in order to make http://www.socialphobiaworld.com/modules.php?name=Forums&file=posting&mode=quote&p=98396money. Have you seen statistics on the success of these pills? They're not very high at all. Don't you think it's a little odd that these pharm companies tell you that you need to try all kinds of meds in order to find the right one? So you don't think it's at least a lttle suspicious that all these companies pretty much are giving each other a chance to make money by saying this? When they do this, they all make a lot more money. Someone tries one med for a couple months, it doesn't work for them. Then they try a different one, still no results. Then a combination of 3 different ones, and then there's some effect. Then they add one more different one just to prevent relapse. Six different (and possibly the same) pharm companies just made alot of loot! I, however, never expected instant resuls, I expected results period!

I actually do want help, but I'd rather see a school counselor or something like that because: 1. I don't have insurance any more, and 2: They have more experience with teens and such (I'm 18). As I said before, I never expected an instant cure, I was on this crap for almost 1/2 a year! And in response to what you said, of course I'm not sure why I ended up like this. Rehab was just one of my theories, but is it the correct one? I don't know, that's why it's a theory! I am putting an effort to help myself, that's why I'm taking 5-htp, which I felt more effects in 4 hours then I did in 4 months with those pharms, but still didn't improve my eye contact problem.

Hypnotherapy would be cool, is that overed by insurance?

The reason I'm really angry and impatient is because I KNOW I've been cheated, and I fucking hate corporations who gamble with peoples lives in order to make their fair share of treasure. Knowing that there are others with this problem makes me feel worse, rather than better, for many reasons. One is that I feel for people, and knowing that there are people suffering doesn't make me feel good about myself, regardless if I'm in the same or similar situation. If you only ate one meal a day and were constantly starving, would you feel beter about yourself knowing there are people in Uganda who eat about 3 times of week and sometimes die of hunger? I sure as hell wouldn't!

I don't think you fully understand what these pharm companies are doing. Of course I'm not going to try different pharms when they're all part of the pyramid scheme! I'm not going to be like, "well, this worthless medication doesn't work, so I think I'll give another equally worthless med a shot!". They are all bullshit, and any effect you get off them is purely psychosematic. It's not all good that my family and friends know, and the last thing I want is for them to experience shit like this for themselves!

My brother's girlfriend has the same problem, and has been on meds and gone to therapy, but didn't solve her issue. She didn't feel shit on the meds, and the therapy only helped to get shit off her chest. I don't know exactly what she tried but for all intents and purposes, it doesn't matter because they're all chalk full of sugar, some with maybe different kinds of sugar, others with different kinds of chalk.

E isn't a magical pill because 40 minutes later, you body feels like how I imagine a slave's body always felt; like an overworked peice of shit. And due to this body effect, your mind starts getting a little depressed. So, it's just a very short lived high. I wonder, did you know that therapists used to use E as an adjunct to therapy because of its therapeutical properties and because it enhances closer introspection?

I haven't done E since the summer, but planning on doing it soon. I don't really use illegal drugs anymore, but I'm down to. I did coke last time like a week ago. Unfortunately, not even coke temporarily heals my situation like it used to. Either that or it was really low quality coke. Like once a month, I'll smoke some bud, but I don't really like weed anymore. If I can get my hands on prescription pain killers, then I would probably use them to help me sleep. If I were physically ill, I would probably use OTC drugs, and if those didn't work, I would either smoke some weed or opium. You seem to have some sort of bias against drugs, I can tell. Weed and opium have been used therapeutically and recreationally for thousands of years, but all of a sudden, they are illegal and socially unacceptable (to some, however). There is nothing immoral about drugs or drug dealing, unless you do something immoral with them. Something immoral would be to fuck with peoples minds and tell them that a $150 per bottle medication will help heal their pain, when it's just a bottle full of sugar. That is horribly inhumane, and people who do shit like that for money ought to be hung with piano wire while dangling over a bonfire.

You're making it seem like I'm depressed, and like there's a "better" to get. With my situation, theres no better, or worse. It's either I am able to make eye contact, or I'm not. There's no such thing as being able to make eye contact better, it's not like a professional Xtreme sport or something. I can rant and rave all I damn please to, you don't understand that this problem doesn't let me be who I really am all the time, and that I've been double-crossed by a shitheaded corporation. I have no stigma associated with it, society does. Actually, I do too, but that's irrelevant, and my point remains valid. If there isn't much help in mental health, who's fault do you think that is? So, you think the rich and powerful pharm companies who make fake meds don't have any responsibility on this one? Don't you think that since they have wrongfully made all this loot, that they should spend LOTS of their funds on scientific research, and maybe on developing a drug that actually gives same-day results, a drug that you don't have to take every day for half a year?

I actually would be down to give a psychotherapist a try, but my insurance timed out, so that is no longer an option until I get a job with medical coverage. Do you think I'm stupid? Why do you suppose that if I tried therapy, I would only go to one session? Do you think I don't know how therapy works or something?

I don't understand how "sugar coat" would be a pun, unless it's a pun that AD pharms are composed of sugar. Who said I didn't want help? The thing I don't want is another half-years full of false hope, there's a major difference here. And I've been putting up with this bullshit for a while, so who says I'm not putting up with it?

"There are other people they can help and that want their help".

I was one of those people, but unfortunately, when people like me find out that most of the professional help offered out there is just false hope, they end up a little suspicious of the whole mental health system. I, however, know exactly what these pharm corporations are doing, and If I were a sick sadistic shitheaded evil corporate executive, I would do exactly the same, probably even more.

If you want to argue about whether or not AD's are real, then comment on my other thread. This thread is about getting REAL help and support to help me make non-awkward eye contact so I can get a decent job, decent enough that they offer medical coverage.

 

[BornAgain]

I cant actually be bothered to even try and help you anymore. You're not prepared to make an effort or try different meds cos they're all coning you apparently! :?
You think you know better than everyone else so sort it on your own if that's what you want. Grow up, stop ranting and raving and put as much effort as you put into writing into sorting your problems instead! :evil:

Shut up.

They are not conning me, they are conning society. This shit has nothing to do with growing up. According to your rudimentarily nieve logic, then movie critics, food critics, and any sort of critic is a child. That's ridiculous, if you believe that, then you are the one that needs to grow out of your nieve shell and start to think outside the box that you are so comfortable in.

I think you missed the point of every thing I said. I don't know anything. Nothing I say is absolute, because there is no good reason to be absolutely 100% sure about anything. Maybe you have a very dull understanding of economics, and instead of taking what I said to heart and THINKING about it, you just see what I'm saying as a common rant. I don't put much effort in my writing, it comes natural to me, and some people believe I am even a genius because of my intellectual capacity.

Perhaps, sometimes I wonder, this is why the common sheep look at me so weirdly sometimes.

By the way, I got hired yesterday by Olive Garden, so BOO-YAH!

 

[BornAgain]

wow.

You know, you are a great listener, has anyone ever told you that? I mean, you pay a whole bunch of attention to the little details and symbolic nature of the things people tell you, it's almost like you're a fucking genius!

OK, stop thinking that you're smarter or better than anyone, because you're not, and if you were, you wouldn't use the word rant when people are trying to have an intellectual conversation. That's just a defense mechanism that you use to cover up your rudimentary knowledge.

A little tip for you, you are very closed minded and chilidshly naive, so stop thinking that everything works as perfectly and sound as it seems. I know what you are going to respond, which just proves my point even further. However, if you say something other then what you're going to say, then maybe there is a little nugget of knowledge that needs desperately to be mined.

p.s - a rave is a club where people thizz and dance to techno and rave music with strobe lights and glo-sticks, dumbass.

 

[BornAgain]

oh my god, you fucking dumshit.

Do you actually think I don't know what rant means? I was just showing how much of an uncreative conformist faggot you are by using an overly used and abused cliche. Only fruits and faggots use that term the way you did, and again you missed the details and symbolic nature of what I said. You are not a genius, you are a wretched sheep of the masses with an underdeveloped and unexpanded mind.

Answer to my posts, stop diverting the subject trying to make yourself look intelligent. I would type more, but I am extremely tired right now. By the way, I don't know wich timezone you're at, but were you up at 4:30 AM just to answer to my post? If you did, god, what a loser......

 

[BornAgain]

:lol: I love reading your posts! :lol:

I'm writng a book, you wanna read that?

By the way, shut the fuck up and stop ignoring me, answer to me, because I HATE reading your posts.

 

[maggie]

oh my god, you fucking dumshit.

Do you actually think I don't know what rant means? I was just showing how much of an uncreative conformist faggot you are by using an overly used and abused cliche. Only fruits and faggots use that term the way you did, and again you missed the details and symbolic nature of what I said. You are not a genius, you are a wretched sheep of the masses with an underdeveloped and unexpanded mind.

Answer to my posts, stop diverting the subject trying to make yourself look intelligent. I would type more, but I am extremely tired right now. By the way, I don't know wich timezone you're at, but were you up at 4:30 AM just to answer to my post? If you did, god, what a loser......

BornAgain, why must you resort to name-calling and being mean..to get your point across?

 

[BornAgain]

oh my god, you fucking dumshit.

Do you actually think I don't know what rant means? I was just showing how much of an uncreative conformist faggot you are by using an overly used and abused cliche. Only fruits and faggots use that term the way you did, and again you missed the details and symbolic nature of what I said. You are not a genius, you are a wretched sheep of the masses with an underdeveloped and unexpanded mind.

Answer to my posts, stop diverting the subject trying to make yourself look intelligent. I would type more, but I am extremely tired right now. By the way, I don't know wich timezone you're at, but were you up at 4:30 AM just to answer to my post? If you did, god, what a loser......

BornAgain, why must you resort to name-calling and being mean..to get your point across?

because that's what people do when they're pissed off. If you people are so depressed and all this shit, would you rather enjoy being treated like a mental patient with handicaps, or would you like to be treated normally? Read the comments on YouTube, you'll see how people really treat each other. By the way, there's nothing wrong or unintelligent about swearing or name-calling, that's just some bullshit that wanna-be peace modrators preach when they lose an argument, so they thwart the topic by putting stress onto that part of it.

 

[maggie]

oh my god, you fucking dumshit.

Do you actually think I don't know what rant means? I was just showing how much of an uncreative conformist faggot you are by using an overly used and abused cliche. Only fruits and faggots use that term the way you did, and again you missed the details and symbolic nature of what I said. You are not a genius, you are a wretched sheep of the masses with an underdeveloped and unexpanded mind.

Answer to my posts, stop diverting the subject trying to make yourself look intelligent. I would type more, but I am extremely tired right now. By the way, I don't know wich timezone you're at, but were you up at 4:30 AM just to answer to my post? If you did, god, what a loser......

BornAgain, why must you resort to name-calling and being mean..to get your point across?

because that's what people do when they're pissed off. If you people are so depressed and all this shit, would you rather enjoy being treated like a mental patient with handicaps, or would you like to be treated normally? Read the comments on YouTube, you'll see how people really treat each other. By the way, there's nothing wrong or unintelligent about swearing or name-calling, that's just some bullshit that wanna-be peace modrators preach when they lose an argument, so they thwart the topic by putting stress onto that part of it.

bornagain..i agree that lots of us are depressed..and we all suffer with 'this shit'..but i don't agree that it is ok to call people 'fuckin dumbshit'..'losers'..'conformist faggot' or whatever words you choose..it's mean! ..you can get your point across without being verbally mean to people...and verbally lashing out at people is not allowed on this site.

 

[Remus]

oh my god, you fucking dumshit.

Do you actually think I don't know what rant means? I was just showing how much of an uncreative conformist faggot you are by using an overly used and abused cliche. Only fruits and faggots use that term the way you did, and again you missed the details and symbolic nature of what I said. You are not a genius, you are a wretched sheep of the masses with an underdeveloped and unexpanded mind.

Answer to my posts, stop diverting the subject trying to make yourself look intelligent. I would type more, but I am extremely tired right now. By the way, I don't know wich timezone you're at, but were you up at 4:30 AM just to answer to my post? If you did, god, what a loser......

BornAgain, why must you resort to name-calling and being mean..to get your point across?

because that's what people do when they're pissed off. If you people are so depressed and all this shit, would you rather enjoy being treated like a mental patient with handicaps, or would you like to be treated normally? Read the comments on YouTube, you'll see how people really treat each other. By the way, there's nothing wrong or unintelligent about swearing or name-calling, that's just some bullshit that wanna-be peace modrators preach when they lose an argument, so they thwart the topic by putting stress onto that part of it.

show respect to forum members please or you will be banned

 

[Remus]

but my only problem is I can't make eye contact with people, and how in the hell are you supposed get hired anywhere if you don't even look at people when they talk to you or you talk to them? I'm sure some of you people have this same problem, but this shit is ruining my life.

I've had this problem all my life and have got around it by "avoidance", I look at peoples eyebrows instead of thier eyes, I talk with my hands and tend to look at my hands when doing it, I talk to an area in the room and glance from time to time at the other person I'm talking to, I make my eyes out of focus when looking towards the other person whilst talking.

I presently work for starbucks and use alot of avoidance techniques when talking to customers, like leading thier eyes by asking questions about what food/drink they want and point alot, also have my pad ready and write on that while listening so also avoiding eye contact, I was an electronics engineer before this job but that required zero eye contact anywho.

my therapist has told me to stop the avoidance techniques and now hold peoples gaze! :roll:

 

[t0keR]

i need to get a job too all my friends are getting their 1st jobs and we rlly need the $ (not sayin im givin it all 2 my moma! lmao) plus i have ALOTTA free time but just the thought of the interview and working with other ppl scares the crap outta me! i need 2 start pushing myself im 2 easy on me lol like this wkend I rlly dont want some stanger moving in AT ALL but i know it will prob help me so would having a job mabye i cold get 1 thats would be easy on my SA like a fast food place wouldnt at all mabye a pet store or book store hey id never even thought but that u just think 1st job=fast food lol

 

[BornAgain]

i need to get a job too all my friends are getting their 1st jobs and we rlly need the $ (not sayin im givin it all 2 my moma! lmao) plus i have ALOTTA free time but just the thought of the interview and working with other ppl scares the crap outta me! i need 2 start pushing myself im 2 easy on me lol like this wkend I rlly dont want some stanger moving in AT ALL but i know it will prob help me so would having a job mabye i cold get 1 thats would be easy on my SA like a fast food place wouldnt at all mabye a pet store or book store hey id never even thought but that u just think 1st job=fast food lol

I just got hired from olive garden as a server like 4 days ago, go me!!!

i don't mind making eye contact with our guests, but when it comes to people I have to see often, it will be wuite a challenge.