Richey
Well-known member
This is not meant to come across as an excuse for being a certain way. do you believe that certain people are just lucky? and what percentage is shaped by our own self will and do you think that the variation of genetics, mentors, friends, family is sort of like a combination lock to the sort of person you may turn out to be and the life you encounter? i really dont know what to think. there were times where i felt like the world was my oyster and i was having fun but i feel that once i went to high school my motivation and ambition grinded to a hault because i felt so miserable in that environment then at home i felt paranoid by controlling and condescending parents that provided for me and my sister in terms of materials but they were like the headmasters you'd become afraid of. i dont feel like my parents wanted to be friends more authority figures overall. i think i just became overwhelmed by the adult world and its expectations. i also believe that intense feelings of self consciousness has ruined my social confidence over the years. however there are times where i feel exctied and ambitious but it doesnt last long. something always gets in the way.
I keep thinking what if i had have made friends with a different group in high school. what if my family were more positive socially. they seem so negative and cynical and serious all the time. and i had to grow up in that world. could one drastic move or decision left or right have changed my life into something different. i was watching red dwarf the other say and its exactly what im talking about. one decision could have changed everything. i feel that perhaps the class i was in and the mentors i had growing up could have affected me more positively and perhaps one or two decisions is enough to change everything.
I also remember working at a restaurant where the waitresses all looked the same. it was obvious that there was an agenda of looks to the staff being chosen. i'm sure this is applicable to almost anything.
Red Dwarf - Dimension Jump
part 1
YouTube - Red Dwarf ~ Dimension Jump ~ Part 1 of 3
part 2
YouTube - Red Dwarf ~ Dimension Jump ~ Part 2 of 3
part 3
YouTube - Red Dwarf ~ Dimension Jump ~ Part 3 of 3
I keep thinking what if i had have made friends with a different group in high school. what if my family were more positive socially. they seem so negative and cynical and serious all the time. and i had to grow up in that world. could one drastic move or decision left or right have changed my life into something different. i was watching red dwarf the other say and its exactly what im talking about. one decision could have changed everything. i feel that perhaps the class i was in and the mentors i had growing up could have affected me more positively and perhaps one or two decisions is enough to change everything.
I also remember working at a restaurant where the waitresses all looked the same. it was obvious that there was an agenda of looks to the staff being chosen. i'm sure this is applicable to almost anything.
Red Dwarf - Dimension Jump
part 1
YouTube - Red Dwarf ~ Dimension Jump ~ Part 1 of 3
part 2
YouTube - Red Dwarf ~ Dimension Jump ~ Part 2 of 3
part 3
YouTube - Red Dwarf ~ Dimension Jump ~ Part 3 of 3
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