bushwick
Active member
Well I lost a friend 3 weeks ago, we were very close for 3 years, but we were different personalities; at that time when I lost him I was really sad, but the time went on and I started to gradually get used to that and I dont feel sad anymore. Now I have that feeling of coldness- that I dont care anymore- sometimes I imagine we both see each other again and we start an argument, but I hurt him on purpose mentally and want to see him suffer mentally- I imagine him crying, sometimes I laugh at that and say that is what I like to see- you suffer. I have this quality- after a week or so after a very sad experience in one morning I just wake up and think- its just an ordinary day- I just dont care about what happened a week ago. I dont know if it was my fault and I dont know who lost whom.. we had an argument, but I'm not going to appologise- because we had countless arguments and- after the last argument I just felt that this ''friendship'' wont last long- I tended to tell not so many things to him about my life as I did before. And this moment came- we are not friends anymore, sometimes I tend to hate him very much. That is my nature I guess- to be alone and I tend to grow tired of people who are with me... I never had friends that were with me for a very long time... Except my brother... I really dont know- maybe I tend to 'use' people and then throw them away like old toys. Sometimes I think so... Or something is wrong with me... Any more people with similar situation?
This friend was a good person, but it was hard to live with him so the same goes for me.
This friend was a good person, but it was hard to live with him so the same goes for me.
