Friendship and Love?!?!

[PathWatcher]

Just saw this topic and had to ask. Does anyone truely belive either Friendship or Love truely exist. I don't let people get close to me, so I insult them. And in my life I've done some pretty tricky things just to see what would happen. For instance take two best friends, on the surface they would die for one another there so close. I've known many people like this, I figure its humans need for social conduct that creates such fake bonds. Get one of the pair alone, and start picking on the others weakness and what do you think happens?

If you said that the person defends there friend and tells you to go soak your head then your a fool. In 30seconds there bad mouthing the guy more then you are. Same with boyfriends and Girlfriends. I have yet to find one person that will defened a friend if they find it more profitable at the moment to insult them.

I'll admit there are Loyal people out there, who will stay with a person out of that loyality which you might call love. Even if a more profitable offer comes up they stick with the person they got. Maybe its because there a sure thing, but more often then not its pride. They won't admit they made the wrong choice, they picked this person now they are going to stick by that choice. Its still not love, not like the fairy tales. Really its just sin, Lust, Greed, Pride, a bit of Envy normally. And we call it love.

Anyway if anyone thinks true Friendship or Love exists I'd love to debate on the topic. If you can change my mind I'll be in your debt forever. For you see, I've never had a friend or a love. Becuase I have yet to find someone who is able to care for someone other then themselves without some other motive behind them.

 

[spectator]

J
I'll admit there are Loyal people out there, who will stay with a person out of that loyality which you might call love. Even if a more profitable offer comes up they stick with the person they got. Maybe its because there a sure thing, but more often then not its pride. They won't admit they made the wrong choice, they picked this person now they are going to stick by that choice. Its still not love, not like the fairy tales. Really its just sin, Lust, Greed, Pride, a bit of Envy normally. And we call it love.

I don't agree with that. If it's about pride it's still not an issue of true friendship. True friendship is acknowledging the faults of a friend and being able to tell it to him to his face without him getting insulted, and in a way that opens a path for improvment. And hey, we all talk behind the back about people, that's just the way life is. It doesn't make soemone less of a friend unless you actually detest having them around.

 

[Generical]

Lust, greed, envy........they're all human characteristics, which everyone has, it is who we are but it doesn't mean that love doesn't exist and is certainly not something to give up. Every relationship will have problems that's because the world isn't perfect........we aren't perfect. It's not like you have never talked about someone behind their back, did it feel wrong then? in all honesty everyone does it. Sometimes it is good to let off some bottled up feelings about the people you love, it makes you appreciate their better side.......if you weren't able to do this it is likely that you would lose your temper over something and screw things up completely.

The fact is that these people still love each other besides the problems and can still live alongside each other making these problems irrelevant. People are still going to support and be there for each other even if they do have to grumble about their friends or partners from time to time so it's being able to carry on with each other happilly and respecting people's better side that is true love and strong relationships.

 

[PathWatcher]

So what your both saying is what I was trying to say. Humans can not have true friendship or love. You claim its normal to poke fun at someone you care about. I don't think it is normal. I think that humans have it in there power to Defend someone they love, that they have the power to stand up against someone who is poking fun at someone they are suppose to care about.

I think its possible for them, just not desirable. When I did my experiments it wasn't letting off steam that I saw in people. It was there attempt to impress me by making themselves look better compared to someone else. It was full out Betrayal, they did what was best for them in all cases. Regardless of age, sex, or closeness. They would gladly show me what was truly in there hearts. That there friends were Sluts, ugly, fat, stupid, greedy, lazy or worse. They might even tell me exactly what they got out of the fake friendship.

I've heard it all, they own a new x-box, there family is really nice and lets them stay over and feeds them, They always got money, always got drugs, there hopping to get sex if they pretend to be there friend, they want a boyfriend or Girlfriend and that person was all they had to choose from...So many reasons. But all fake friendships and love.

Saying its human nature to betray, isn't saying love or friendship exists. Its simply giving it an excuse not to exist.

 

[Generical]

Eh for one your missing my point and yeah lol i was missing your point too. I was talking about a different thing, more about how people grumble over each other rather than people trying to gain praise for fitting in. It is wrong when it's about self improvent in the eyes of the other person you are mocking them with. Not everyone is like that.

 

[bandit]

 

[TAMPA-BAY]

To debate your point. I think their is a different between talking and doing. Many people bad mouth their countries and jobs but its just venting. I ve made critical coments about people behind their back but i also try to balance those coments with the positive traits that the person have.

I think its ok to talk and wisper about a person to a certian point. When you start backing up those coments with action I think it changes things.

Wow did I just reach my 200th post?

 

[adorabiledude]

hello i am marco 23 years old social anxiety.I whant meet an woman for friendship (i feel lot alone).x

 

[Diluted_Acid]

I have yet to find someone who is able to care for someone other then themselves without some other motive behind them.

hello i am marco 23 years old social anxiety.I whant meet an woman for friendship (i feel lot alone).x

Kidding . . . . Yeah i too have always been a bit skeptic on love and friendship, more so as i've aged unfortunately. It really sucks. I can remember early in high school enjoying friends for who they were and kinda admiring them as people. Now its as if with the whole face book and myspace phase . . everyone is just out there to promote themselves and rise to the top of social status . . . therefore friends and so forth are becoming much like items of our social status, i.e. guys dating models to prove a point . . . . and making friends with only lets say popular people. I dunno, this doesn't bother me much, but just something i seem to be noticing more and more. I still believe true friendship exists and c'mon . . . love does exist . . i love my family, and i guess until you marry someone and have a kid with them, thats when you MAY be able to connect to them on a deeper level to the point where you consider them family. Otherwise it seems love is what you make of it, nothing more.

 

[Emma]

I'm in love with a friend
I shouldn't be, I feel stupid, but I am....

 

[AngelsTears85]

I got this out of a book I am reading at the moment called From Strength To Strength by Iris Barrow

Here we must ask the question-what is love? Again I must emphasise it is an attitude, not a feeling. Feelings come and go. Look at anger, for example. You are angry one day, the next day the anger has left you. If we were to base our love on a feeling we would find that we were loving people one minute and not loving them the next, going on and off them like a yo-yo. Feelings are transient things; if we are governed by and dictated to by feelings we will be led astray. Feelings can de dependent upon state of health, mood, environment, how a person has been to you over the last couple of days, and many other factors.
We cannot afford to base out love upon feelings. Feelings are a part of love but they are not the essence of love.


As well as an attitude, it is a movement towards the other person; a commitment, a decision to ‘be there for them’ and to be what they need you to be for them at that particular time. It is also having goodwill towards them and wanting what is right for them.

 

[Doomed2Die]

I full heartedly agree AngelsTears85 (and that book) love is a quality and as such can be improved, this defines a person greatly, desire and passion comes and goes but love, true care and selflessness are much more persevering. It encompasses much much more than love between couples also.