friends..

[ilovenoodles]

So what i noticed a few times in my life is that when i tried to be a friend to someone and that person start to bully you and talk **** about you behind your back.

Two strong examples:

1. In school i was befriend with a girl which i considered as my friend that time. She was bullied by the whole class (i was bullied too by a few). I even stood up for her once when she and another girl cried at the school gym after an incident. A whole group was cheering the other girl up and i was the only one who cheered up my friend. Even thought we were so-called friends, she still was a sneaky person because she stole things by example. But i still connected with her. Then stuff happened where she was mean to by behind my back... i don't wanna go in to detail but after all i wasn't a friend to her. And i was convinced this wasn't a real friendship to me either. This was in primairy school. We did went to same high school too. But both in different classes. But i can't remember how it exactly went with us there. I do remember the moment one of her new friends said i broke connection with her but i told her i didn't. But years later i doubt that since i can't remember like i said:: So after 1 a 2 years in high school i totally lost connection with her.

2. A girl at my old work which i considered almost a friend. I was always trying to cheer her up when she was down and even wanted to go to her goodbye party (she left the country for a year) as ONLY person from work. I even convinced some other people to go too for her. But still she talked **** about me in front of me

And then there are the people in general. Once when you are too nice or show any weakness they make use of it. So i actually lost interest in most people::

Anyone else expierenced something simular? wanna share your story?

 

[DeadmanWalking]

Yes, you're right. When you show too much weakness or kindness, then people try to manipulate you. It's a sad fact of reality. However, what you did was not an example of such. Those girls were just two-faced b*tches. I'm sorry you had to go through that, but don't let them disinterest you from people. There are people out there that would kill for a friend like you! Congratulations for having the character within you to stand up for your friends! You've gotta sift through the sh*t and the dirt before you find a true friend. They're very rare in this world, as you've seen, so that's why they're called "priceless". Just keep trying and, whenever you cross people like those you've mentioned, tell them to f*ck off and get out of your sight.

 

[ilovenoodles]

Yes, you're right. When you show too much weakness or kindness, then people try to manipulate you. It's a sad fact of reality. However, what you did was not an example of such. Those girls were just two-faced b*tches. I'm sorry you had to go through that, but don't let them disinterest you from people. There are people out there that would kill for a friend like you! Congratulations for having the character within you to stand up for your friends! You've gotta sift through the sh*t and the dirt before you find a true friend. They're very rare in this world, as you've seen, so that's why they're called "priceless". Just keep trying and, whenever you cross people like those you've mentioned, tell them to f*ck off and get out of your sight.

Your reply made me smile. Luckely i met some special people on this forum

 

[MikeyC]

This happened a lot at school with my group of "friends." Even acquaintances. They'd be nice to your face but then talk about you behind your back.

Once me and three other friends were in cooking class. A bully also attended the class. I had made spaghetti and at the end of the day we could eat what we made, so I decided to tuck in. Half-way through (I repeat: half-way through) my meal, one of my friends decide to tell me that this bully had spit in my spaghetti. I didn't say anything but why would they not tell me before I began eating? I guess it shows how bad of friends they were.

 

[ilovenoodles]

^It's unreasonable.

And another thing, i find it disturbing when people talk/do things behind your back and you literally see it happen. Then your like ''wtf''.

 

[ilovenoodles]

I find a lot of people aren't really interested in making true friendships, they just want lots of friends, so they'll butter you up and want to hang out together for a while but it's only so that they can consider you as another friend to add to their burgeoning network of what is mainly mere acquaintances. Once they've done that, they'll move on to somebody else and decline your company if they want to. The problem with such people is that they often seem extremely popular on account of how many people they know but when it comes down to it, they aren't really that nice people. I'm not saying all popular people are like this, a lot of popular people are deserving of their many true friends - but there are many who are just in it for the quantity and if they have to dump on a friend, they'll do it.

It staggers me how cruel some people who are supposedly 'popular' can be and I can only put it down to the fact that they have never experienced friendship for what it is meant to be. I've met several people like this over time and now I just stick to my nearest and dearest instead of trying to keep up with everybody. Lots of people in life are selfish and care only about their personal image and how they come across to others. If they could only spend a little longer thinking about what they can do for others then there wouldn't be so much friction in the world.

Have I answered your question? I feel I've gone off tangent. Key point is: There are nice people out there to be friends with - real, salt of the earth types, you're just more likely to have to search more to find them, rather than the people that place themselves in the centre of any and every kind of social circle.

That is exactly how it is in my opinion too.

 

[MikeyC]

^It's unreasonable.

It certainly was. :/

It staggers me how cruel some people who are supposedly 'popular' can be and I can only put it down to the fact that they have never experienced friendship for what it is meant to be.

I can't remember where I heard this, or if it's even true, but I heard popular people, like in school, feel more alone because they don't have as many "true" friends they can confide in. It sounds bogus, though.