Forcing yourself.
- Thread starter KC
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Anonymous
Well-known member
Hey, I think sometimes you will need to force yourself. You need to face your fears. But also, taking steps as mentioned is the way to do it. You start off with doing little things at non busy times and work yourself up. For example, going to the mall and not even going in if your that bad. Then next time, get out of your car walk around, get back in the car. Next time go to one store. You should do it at light hours and with a buddy. Eventually make the trips longer at busier times and eventually alone. Make sure you stay in the situation for about 30 minutes. You should stay in the anxious situation and overcome the anxiety. If you freak out and leave you will want to avoid the place you had the "attack" if you will. Stay in the spot and overcome it. The best way to handle your situation is breathing. Control your breathing and the situation. Also, positive thinking, throw out the "what if's" in the situation into "whats the worst that could happen" which is not even close to what your thinking. Exaggeration is usually the problem. Good luck! 
I hope some of that helped cya!
I hope some of that helped cya!
neddy
Well-known member
It all depends on what you want to do. The more you avoid situations the worse it gets over time. If forcing yourself to do something scares you too much break it down into smaller steps. Have someone go with you for support. I have been known to drive around the block several times before I was able to drive into the driveway only to find that I was having difficulty getting out of the car. I reversed out and went back home and beat myself up all day about it. The following week I tried again and I actually made it through the door. What I realised was that it was alot easier than I thought it would it be and just knowing that there were other people there in similar situations made it easier. It was a support group for depression and other related issues. It took me 4 weeks to get up the courage to go in the door.
Whatever your situation is allow your self time to take the small steps necessary to do what you want to do. Take it from someone who has been in complete isolation for 10 years the more you put off doing things the harder it becomes so I agree that in some situations you need to push yourself a little.
Whatever your situation is allow your self time to take the small steps necessary to do what you want to do. Take it from someone who has been in complete isolation for 10 years the more you put off doing things the harder it becomes so I agree that in some situations you need to push yourself a little.
Ladystardust
Active member
Every day I have to encourage myself to do things I think encourage is a better word than force. I know some situations can be very frightening so I would agree its best to start with small things. I was also told to try to choose something that would have some element of enjoyment to it. So for instance last year I went to see David Bowie at the NEC its a big place and the show was a sell out. I am not sure how many fans were there but it was a big crowd. I managed my fear because Iam a really big fan of db and I knew he is worth seeing. I am not suggesting you do something like this. But try to find some sort of pleasure in it or reward yourself for the effort you make because only you know how hard it is for you. Having said all this I am still stuggling with sp but I have to keep on going what else is theior to do?
richkid
Well-known member
I agree with what others have said. I wouldn't say force yourself rather give yourself encouragement, a bit of a kick in the back side, with a little positive reinforcement. Easier said than done. Life is like riding a bike, (wait listen, you see this will be good you just have to go with it!) It takes time you fall off you may even get hurt but the best thing is to prove to yourself you can do it and get back on. You also need guidance from someone who will support you and help you steer the bike in the write directions.
Aplogies for the pathetic anology but I could have done the forest gump thing (don't worry i wont i'm saving that one unless someone else uses it first! )
Aplogies for the pathetic anology but I could have done the forest gump thing (don't worry i wont i'm saving that one unless someone else uses it first!
)
Orlando
Well-known member
Hi!
When I was in college, I forced myself to go to parties and had a terrible time. Worse when I go home, I would criticize everything that I did. And it was painful. Then I would force myself out to do more social stuff and then I would criticize myself even more about the stuff that I did. I thought that if I could go out enough, I could get over this SP.
Well, I didn't that way. I agree with what everyone has said. I just don't want you to do what I did. If you are going to challenge yourself, be patient and accepting with yourself. SP is not going to go away in a week or a few months. It will take a while. Move and press and press to your goal. It would also be better if you had someone to talk to like a psychologist or social worker. They are usually more sympathetic toward our problem. Family members and friends no matter how much they love us, really don't understand us and their advice is usally not very encouraging. (Atleast, that is my family.)
When I was in college, I forced myself to go to parties and had a terrible time. Worse when I go home, I would criticize everything that I did. And it was painful. Then I would force myself out to do more social stuff and then I would criticize myself even more about the stuff that I did. I thought that if I could go out enough, I could get over this SP.
Well, I didn't that way. I agree with what everyone has said. I just don't want you to do what I did. If you are going to challenge yourself, be patient and accepting with yourself. SP is not going to go away in a week or a few months. It will take a while. Move and press and press to your goal. It would also be better if you had someone to talk to like a psychologist or social worker. They are usually more sympathetic toward our problem. Family members and friends no matter how much they love us, really don't understand us and their advice is usally not very encouraging. (Atleast, that is my family.)
Anonymous
Well-known member
dont force yourself
Hi I am 15 years old and I have had SP for almost a year, during this time I have learnt a lot. In the beggining people, myself included whoud force me into scary sitatuions. I cna tell you that isn't the way to do. You'll just feel very uncomfortable and get even more scared, I would suggest taking small baby steps and making daily SMALL goals. It's easier that way, although i am not full recovred ( i dont think I will be ever) but I have learnt to control scary and frightening sitations on a day to day basis.
Life probably looks gloomy at the moment but I assur eyou it will get better. Everything ends up okay in the end and if it's not okay then it's not the end! That means you have to work harder for NOW.
I reccomend reading the book Living with IT by Bev Aisebett. Her book is so easy to read with cartoons and funny jokes ,she had anixety and SA herself.
Try 'nibbling away' at the day. Take it slow and remember this- ONE DAY AT A TIME. Even one hour at a time if sometimes it seems too much but it will get better eventually.
Hope I helped you a little.
ANyone else here my age?
Email me [email protected]!
Thankyou,
Aussie
Hi I am 15 years old and I have had SP for almost a year, during this time I have learnt a lot. In the beggining people, myself included whoud force me into scary sitatuions. I cna tell you that isn't the way to do. You'll just feel very uncomfortable and get even more scared, I would suggest taking small baby steps and making daily SMALL goals. It's easier that way, although i am not full recovred ( i dont think I will be ever) but I have learnt to control scary and frightening sitations on a day to day basis.
Life probably looks gloomy at the moment but I assur eyou it will get better. Everything ends up okay in the end and if it's not okay then it's not the end! That means you have to work harder for NOW.
I reccomend reading the book Living with IT by Bev Aisebett. Her book is so easy to read with cartoons and funny jokes ,she had anixety and SA herself.
Try 'nibbling away' at the day. Take it slow and remember this- ONE DAY AT A TIME. Even one hour at a time if sometimes it seems too much but it will get better eventually.
Hope I helped you a little.
ANyone else here my age?
Email me [email protected]!
Thankyou,
Aussie
richkid
Well-known member
Forcing yourself is probably to strong of a word. I mean if you force someone to do any thing they don't want to do they going meet it wtha little resistence. Does anyone make goals for themselves? Anyone heard of the goal setting theory. What ever you do to change something should be done in small steps. I can't remember what is stands for but there is a buisness terminology called S.M.A.R.T which maps out how it should be done. Each goal bring something positive out of it, you go to buy something in a shop even if your just looking and someone ask you if you need help maybe decline with a smile or pretend you need help.
Small personally goals can lead to bigger secondary goals.
Small personally goals can lead to bigger secondary goals.
happywannabe
Active member
i cant even force myself i make my self ill my conceller just addvise me to set a task eg in 2 days time i go out and do something but if i cant i try the next day til i can but task i set my self was to hard i just couldnt but i tryed simpler 1s like go on a bus journey my self just to the shops i did it but i still hate going on the bus my x tryed to pushed me but i couldnt b push this is my hardest thing is to push myself to get better but it makes me feel worse so i just set smaller tasks and keep tryin un till i sucede(my spelling crap soz) but dont give up but dont force ur self either take care
Anonymous
Well-known member
im 15 & ive had sp for like 3 years (didnt know there was such a thing til a few months ago...). When i started high school i was pressured by my whole family to play football so i did. I went str8 from being the quiet guy who sets in the corner not saying anything to a strong tackle on the high school football team... and it almost drove me nuts Lucky for me when i joined the team i was the only one from my old school on it so nobody knew what i was like so i almost got to start being myself, but the same anxiety i had didnt just leave, it was stilll there. I got along with most of the guys except a few assholes (the team pricks; you dont get along with them, your life is miserable). Im still on the team but im always scared to death somebody will do something to me or embarass me, so its still really hard even after a year of being on it.
Basically what im saying is if you get into something & arent really really open & un-selfconcious about it, it probly wont go down too good cause first bad thing that happens will shut you up again & it just goes downhill from there.
Lucky for me when i joined the team i was the only one from my old school on it so nobody knew what i was like so i almost got to start being myself, but the same anxiety i had didnt just leave, it was stilll there. I got along with most of the guys except a few assholes (the team pricks; you dont get along with them, your life is miserable). Im still on the team but im always scared to death somebody will do something to me or embarass me, so its still really hard even after a year of being on it.Basically what im saying is if you get into something & arent really really open & un-selfconcious about it, it probly wont go down too good cause first bad thing that happens will shut you up again & it just goes downhill from there.
Anonymous
Well-known member
ignorance
Agreed. Family and friends don't understand because they are not around when we're alone trying to interact with the world. They are familiar, comfortable, and non-threatening to us, so they don't see us in states of fear and anxiety, and may not even believe we have a problem. Don't look for help from these untrained uneducated ignorant well-meaning people. They can't understand something they don't witness. You'd be better off talking to a sock puppet.
Orlando said:
Agreed. Family and friends don't understand because they are not around when we're alone trying to interact with the world. They are familiar, comfortable, and non-threatening to us, so they don't see us in states of fear and anxiety, and may not even believe we have a problem. Don't look for help from these untrained uneducated ignorant well-meaning people. They can't understand something they don't witness. You'd be better off talking to a sock puppet.
Anonymous
Well-known member
making matters worst
it gets even worse if you can't work out what sexuality you are, let alone end up crossdressing in your room. This makes it very difficault to interact with people who you once thought to be understanding. Choosing to redefine your friends is worst than not having any as it just makes you unhappy.
it gets even worse if you can't work out what sexuality you are, let alone end up crossdressing in your room. This makes it very difficault to interact with people who you once thought to be understanding. Choosing to redefine your friends is worst than not having any as it just makes you unhappy.
ker27
Member
i dare myself
Hey all, i feel that i am on the verge of breaking out of the metal box my mind has been in for the past 19 years, and one of the things that has helped has been pushing/forcing myself to do things, and over the past year i have been reading more and more books on the teachings of zen, dont get me wrong i still relapse occasionally, where i dont want to do ANYTHING and i hate my self and my looks, my life, and all the rest, but it passes, eventually. Basically i dont think id be where i am now if i had'nt pushed myself to go out/ phone people/ make eye contact, i call it daring myself, i dare myself and if i dont do it i call myself a chicken, mad eh.. then i tell myself to forget about it and let the memory go, good or bad, dont hold on. REMEMBER, THE PAST HAS ALREADY GONE, THE PRESENT IS BUT A FLEETING MOMENT, AND THE FUTURE HASNT YET HAPPENED, i think of this in terms of seconds, not days. As you read it, it is future, present, now its past......xxxxxxx :wink:
Hey all, i feel that i am on the verge of breaking out of the metal box my mind has been in for the past 19 years, and one of the things that has helped has been pushing/forcing myself to do things, and over the past year i have been reading more and more books on the teachings of zen, dont get me wrong i still relapse occasionally, where i dont want to do ANYTHING and i hate my self and my looks, my life, and all the rest, but it passes, eventually. Basically i dont think id be where i am now if i had'nt pushed myself to go out/ phone people/ make eye contact, i call it daring myself, i dare myself and if i dont do it i call myself a chicken, mad eh.. then i tell myself to forget about it and let the memory go, good or bad, dont hold on. REMEMBER, THE PAST HAS ALREADY GONE, THE PRESENT IS BUT A FLEETING MOMENT, AND THE FUTURE HASNT YET HAPPENED, i think of this in terms of seconds, not days. As you read it, it is future, present, now its past......xxxxxxx :wink: