Section_31
Well-known member
Hey guys,
Well, i saw 1 or two replies to my first post asking for updates on our situation when we start seeing someone. Here we go.
Friday, we had our first appointment with our dr. Its at my wifes uni, and i book it down to the train station to take the train to her uni, just because its easier to do that than to drive down there, try to find parking, and pay 15 bucks an hour.
So anyway, i get out of work an hour from when the apointment starts, thinking that would be enough time. It almost was....
The appt is at 2 pm....my train rolls in at 1:55....and we are WAAAY over on the other side of the campus. We haul ass over to this place, and unfortunately we were there at 2:02.
Now, with my wife, one of her biggest SA triggers is being late, even by a few seconds. We were filling out paperwork, and she begam to tremble, and looking at her, i think her mind was racing. She just kept saying "were late, we should go...". I tried to calm her down and reassure ehr, telling her they would understand, ect ect, its no big deal. Internally i was wincing, thinking that if we had to reschedule because of this i didnt think i would be able to get more time off to go with her again. I managed to keep her there for a few minutes, when our dr, seeing what was going on, approached us and introduced himself, and took us back into his office.
'
At this point she is HIGHLY embarrassed, feeling that everybody knows were late, ect ect, when in fact no one has said a word. Shes blushing, sweating, trembling a little bit. Our doctor was very slack and easygoing about everything, but when he asked her questions she froze, and just looked at me. I then asked her if she would like me to explain why we were there, and she knodded.
So then i explain to the doc whats going on, how things have been, what ive noticed as an outside witness who is around almost all the time, as well as my own anxietys. He went over his creds with us, and he specialises in anxiety. 35 yrs of experience, and in fact has dealt with some pretty serious stuff, from torture victims, ect. Needless to say he said he could see how she was right away and wanted to help.
So over the course of an hour she slowly calmed down enough to answer some questions, talk to him a little more, and so forth. She agred she wants to work with him and see what can be done, in addition to the medication shes taking. he's also a marriage therapist, so im going to see him with her, when im able, to see what I can take away from this.
She did mildly give me flack for gently pushing her to stay when she wanted to leave, but then said it was probably the right thing to do. its really hard for me to decide when to do that, because when shes having an attack i know its her own personal hell, and the last thing in the world i want to do is subject her to more of it. But i think in this case it was the right thing to do.
Her next appointment is on Nov 30th. This time she said she wants to go without me, so show him that she can do things like this without me and is not entirely reliant on me, which i also think is a good idea. But the next one after that im going to def. make an effort to be there, come hell or high water.
for me, for our marriage,
but most of all.,
My love for her.
I'll post more updates as they happen.
Well, i saw 1 or two replies to my first post asking for updates on our situation when we start seeing someone. Here we go.
Friday, we had our first appointment with our dr. Its at my wifes uni, and i book it down to the train station to take the train to her uni, just because its easier to do that than to drive down there, try to find parking, and pay 15 bucks an hour.
So anyway, i get out of work an hour from when the apointment starts, thinking that would be enough time. It almost was....
The appt is at 2 pm....my train rolls in at 1:55....and we are WAAAY over on the other side of the campus. We haul ass over to this place, and unfortunately we were there at 2:02.
Now, with my wife, one of her biggest SA triggers is being late, even by a few seconds. We were filling out paperwork, and she begam to tremble, and looking at her, i think her mind was racing. She just kept saying "were late, we should go...". I tried to calm her down and reassure ehr, telling her they would understand, ect ect, its no big deal. Internally i was wincing, thinking that if we had to reschedule because of this i didnt think i would be able to get more time off to go with her again. I managed to keep her there for a few minutes, when our dr, seeing what was going on, approached us and introduced himself, and took us back into his office.
'
At this point she is HIGHLY embarrassed, feeling that everybody knows were late, ect ect, when in fact no one has said a word. Shes blushing, sweating, trembling a little bit. Our doctor was very slack and easygoing about everything, but when he asked her questions she froze, and just looked at me. I then asked her if she would like me to explain why we were there, and she knodded.
So then i explain to the doc whats going on, how things have been, what ive noticed as an outside witness who is around almost all the time, as well as my own anxietys. He went over his creds with us, and he specialises in anxiety. 35 yrs of experience, and in fact has dealt with some pretty serious stuff, from torture victims, ect. Needless to say he said he could see how she was right away and wanted to help.
So over the course of an hour she slowly calmed down enough to answer some questions, talk to him a little more, and so forth. She agred she wants to work with him and see what can be done, in addition to the medication shes taking. he's also a marriage therapist, so im going to see him with her, when im able, to see what I can take away from this.
She did mildly give me flack for gently pushing her to stay when she wanted to leave, but then said it was probably the right thing to do. its really hard for me to decide when to do that, because when shes having an attack i know its her own personal hell, and the last thing in the world i want to do is subject her to more of it. But i think in this case it was the right thing to do.
Her next appointment is on Nov 30th. This time she said she wants to go without me, so show him that she can do things like this without me and is not entirely reliant on me, which i also think is a good idea. But the next one after that im going to def. make an effort to be there, come hell or high water.
for me, for our marriage,
but most of all.,
My love for her.
I'll post more updates as they happen.
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