First Online Relationship Is Ended Briskly

blight

Well-known member
This girl who I had been talking to and emailing with for about a month just emailed me to inform me she has been stolen by another guy. That really sucks. Actually we had only talked on the phone a few times but had emailed each other like ten or fifteen times....which seemed like a lot at that time doesn't seem like that much just describing it. I had spent a lot of time writing and reading some of those emails though when we were first getting to know each other, and then a fair amount of time talking.

She went almost a week without sending me something and even though I knew she was taking a trip during some of that time I knew something was up. I think guys have a very sensitive intuition when it comes to whether a girl has started having feelings for someone else... One night actually it just hit me as I was going to bed that that is what happened. Then I emailed her and asked her if that was what was going on and she admitted it. I suspect she wasn't replying earlier b/c she wanted to see if it was going anywhere with him before she burned here bridges so to speak.

Anyway this is the first time I think someone has deliberately chosen someone over me who I was really making an effort with. Not a good feeling. We hadn't even met in person though... but it pisses me off that I was *really sure* she was perfect for me even from after our first communication...If this was a movie I suppose I would seek her out and deliver some empassioned speech and steal her back... This is not the movies though and I have no wish to play games like that...I'm just dissapointed she didn't see that we were a good match.

It also pisses me off that some girls seem so able to be "swooned". I mean it almost seems like any guy under any circumstances could get any girl if he was only to say the right things. It is like that movie Ground Hog Day with Bill Murray when he has all those chances to "win over the girl". The whole idea of "winning" the girl is so offensive to me...and even more offensive is that fact that it actually does happen!! I trusted my intuition with this girl and thought it was a good match and I think if she had done the same thing rather than let this guy manipulate her, she would felt the same. I know that sounds arrogant, but it also happens to be the way I feel even if I try to look at it objectively.
 

allanboy

Well-known member
Damn man, i, dont know what to say. Sorry about that. Feels real bad when good things like this end so abruptly.
Lift your head up, life goes on.
 

blight

Well-known member
Thanks...I guess this type of thing is pretty routine within relationships..definitely ground that has been covered by millions of people throughout history -- over and over again. Definitely sucks all the same though. I mean it seems like the dating scene with people in their twenties (me) where I am (New York) is just so damn competitive. I mean what hell, do I really need to go out there and fight for a friking gf. Screw that. In college two out of like four girls I had some sort of relationship with, initially approached me... Doesn't happen like that in the city or probably anywhere else for that matter. Oh well, I'll try not to rant anymore.
 

jamez

Well-known member
The city is a rough place.

Put it down to experience. Keep going at it, and maybe you'll be a pro some day :p
 

J

Well-known member
We hadn't even met in person though... but it pisses me off that I was *really sure* she was perfect for me even from after our first communication...

If you haven't met in person yet, then most ppl wouldn't take it very seriously as a 'relationship' and feel free to move on quickly if another cathces their fancy. Even if it was serious to you, it may not have been to her. Also, you CANNOT POSSIBLY have been "sure" she was the right one for you-- you only THOUGHT so. Trust me on that. Try not to feel so much without meeting in person first. Some people are charming online but not at all in person ...

Just because a particular girl leaves you or doesn't like you, doesn't mean noone will. It may hurt at the time, but you probably weren't right for each other or she'd have stuck around longer. Take this as experience, and try again with another. You WILL succeed one day. Really. I did, FFS, (lol) and that amazed me... and know I'm coming to find that women kinda dig me.... (in HS the "cool girls" thought I was the biggest dork... ha)

But yes, having a girl you like and want to get to know more say "bye" is hard, regardless.

It also pisses me off that some girls seem so able to be "swooned". I mean it almost seems like any guy under any circumstances could get any girl

BS. It seems that way, sure, and movies make it look that way, and goin gto the bars makes it look that way. But it's not true. Really.
 
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