Finding old classmates on facebook or myspace.. how depressi

[froghat]

depressing. So, I was browsing Facebook and I found out my two close friends from high school/college are now married. It doesn't surprise me since they were very outgoing and pretty mature when it came to relationships. It just kills me to see it in writing. I lost touch with them 4 years ago when my anxiety made me a nervous wreck around everyone and I couldn't even feel calm hanging around them. Basically it's just another reminder of how much time I've thrown down the drain because of this crap.

If I could I would probably move to a different state just to get a fresh start and get away from the bad memories and good ones that I wish I had back. Of course I can't though, because I'm currently unemployed and will probably have a crappy retail job soon.

Do you guys ever bump into former friends or classmates and feel depressed and way behind in life? At this point I can't even relate with most people my age. I feel totally lost and scared about my future. It makes me sick to think about what has happened in the last 5 years.

 

[wooaah]

Re: Finding old classmates on facebook or myspace.. how depr

Do you guys ever bump into former friends or classmates and feel depressed and way behind in life? At this point I can't even relate with most people my age. I feel totally lost and scared about my future. It makes me sick to think about what has happened in the last 5 years.

Facebook seems like a constant updating stream of how much fun the world is having without me.

Random thought though, if they were your close friends during highschool and college, that doesn't mean they're former friends. It just means you've been out of touch a while. I suggest sending them a message through facebook along the lines of "woh! you're married! its been a long time, congratulations!" And see how you feel afterwards. For me, being happy for someone somehow dampens the depression. In this situation with the added bonus of perhaps getting back in touch.

 

[froghat]

Yeah, I guess I could do that. It's just I kind of ditched them and it probably wouldn't be the same. Plus, I really have no urge to hangout with married people. I have enough anxiety to deal with, without adding the 3rd wheel thing into the mix.

 

[uninspired_lady]

A lot of people I went to high school with are married or have kids. That doesn't mean they're happy or living a great life.

I don't know how old you are or when graduated from high school but look on the bright side... you're free to do anything you want, you don't have to explain anything to anyone, you don't have to deal with bratty little kids, whatever money you make you can spend on yourself and not stuck on a joint account or have mortgage payment. I could go on.

You say you are going to be stuck on a retail job? Well, if you're not happy, go back to school and do something else. It's not like you have to work to support a wife and kids and can't go to school. You want to leave the state?? leave the state! I'm planning on doing that next year. You have so many more possiblities of making your life anyway you want to. Married people and people with kids as basically stuck and are probably jealous of your freedom!!! so CHEER UP!!!

 

[Rabindranath]

Yes. We are jealous.

 

[wooaah]

Yeah, I guess I could do that. It's just I kind of ditched them and it probably wouldn't be the same. Plus, I really have no urge to hangout with married people. I have enough anxiety to deal with, without adding the 3rd wheel thing into the mix.

Not the same is different from not as good. Pretty soon all your friends will be married. Why should that stop you from hanging out with them. And why should that stop you from having as much fun when you are hanging out with them. If that was the reasoning, all adults would be loners. And married people don't spend 24 hours a day 7 days a week together. If that was the case, i assure you they'd all be divorced. Everyone needs time with friends.

In any case, there more than enough time to worry about that after you message these people. Because honestly, what is there to lose? Worst case is they don't reply, then you'll be exactly where you are now, minus the phantom third wheel worries.

 

[Kien]

It's also great to see how your friends has hundreds of friends there.

 

[froghat]

wooaah, my parents have zero friends and spend pretty much 24/7 with each other. lol

 

[Outshined]

I used to get on myspace. I haven't been on in a while, and I plan on keeping it that way. The people with hundreds of friends (lol seriously?), the "new pic leave comments plz" bulletins every day... I won't be missing it too much. I'll check facebook once and a while, not that it's much better.

 

[steviegerrard489]

Re: Finding old classmates on facebook or myspace.. how depr

Do you guys ever bump into former friends or classmates and feel depressed and way behind in life? At this point I can't even relate with most people my age. I feel totally lost and scared about my future. It makes me sick to think about what has happened in the last 5 years.

Not often because I pretty much left my home town in 1997 when I went to university. However, it's quite a small town (population about 5,000) so when ever I go back to visit my parents there's a chance I may see someone in the street I went to school with.

Some people I know have never left my home town and took retail jobs, got married and had kids. In some respects I'm glad I got out and went to uni and experienced different places, despite the whole agony of being shy.

I'm scared of the future too. I would like to get married and have kids but the clock is running out (I'm 29.5 yrs old).

I've just been onto Facebook and visited my work collegue's home page. I saw pictures of her and her boyfriend at a flat warming party. It's really quite depressing! I really shouldn't go on there and look at that stuff but you're always curious to see what type of guy she goes for. Certainly in terms of looks he's not dissimilar to me. I'm probably a lot taller though!! So at least there's one department I'm not inferior!

 

[zootdroop]

Re: Finding old classmates on facebook or myspace.. how depr

Do you guys ever bump into former friends or classmates and feel depressed and way behind in life? At this point I can't even relate with most people my age. I feel totally lost and scared about my future. It makes me sick to think about what has happened in the last 5 years.

I can't relate to anyone my own age or anybody period. I don't feel depressed about it, I like my life the way it is, I have freedom. I just hate the stupid anxiety part. I don't see it as being behind in life either, being married and having to deal with mortgages and that crap I see as a colossal waste of time and I don't wanna deal with it.
I ran into a girl I knew in high school a while ago and I didn't even recognize her, she looked so old and...well, like a mom (no offense to moms). It was really weird, she was a totally different person than in high school (she didn't have green hair anymore for one thing). Then there's me, pretty much the same I was when I was 16. It's weird cause I do feel kinda embarrased for some reason when I see old friends, cause everyone expects you to be an adult and I'm not, never will. This girl was telling me about her husband and kids and house and fancy job. Then she asked me what I'm doing now...uh...the same thing I was doing last time you saw me 14 years ago. I didn't say that, I don't remember what I said, I just wanted to get away and not have to hear her ramble on about how great her life is anymore. jeezus, what happened to that cool girl that used to draw comics with me in study hall?...The thing I find depressing is how all these people I liked in high school are now just a bunch of normal suburbanite soccer moms and I have no one to relate to anymore...

 

[Outshined]

Pretty much the story of my life. When I'm done with college I'd like to move away and start over somewhere else. I want to enjoy my 20's. It sucks seeing old friends on facebook who all seem to have their lives together, and I don't.. But, I'm not them.

 

[wooaah]

wooaah, my parents have zero friends and spend pretty much 24/7 with each other. lol

haha then you parents are saints, and their genes should be preserved for the betterment of the human race.

and... message them!! arrrgh. Thats the whole point of facebook. To get in touch again. If all its doing is making you feel bad theres no reason to use it.

 

[proudmummy]

Yeah facebook makes me depressed.

All these photos of my friends out clubbing, they seem to be doing something different everyday. They have zillions of comments on their wall like, "we must do that again" or "can't wait for you to come round tonight" by all different friends. Grrrrrrr. Also loads of my friends seem to be doing things like raunchy modelling shoots so they have these gorgeous pictures of themselves in undies for all old schoolmates to see and comment on. Argh.

YES and then theres the ones getting married, going on group holidays....

What I hate most if most of my old friends have moved on and are hanging with loads of old schoolmates still, with me totally out of the picture now because i'm such a social FREAK.

 

[faithnomore]

Yeah facebook makes me depressed.

All these photos of my friends out clubbing, they seem to be doing something different everyday. They have zillions of comments on their wall like, "we must do that again" or "can't wait for you to come round tonight" by all different friends. Grrrrrrr. Also loads of my friends seem to be doing things like raunchy modelling shoots so they have these gorgeous pictures of themselves in undies for all old schoolmates to see and comment on. Argh.

YES and then theres the ones getting married, going on group holidays....

What I hate most if most of my old friends have moved on and are hanging with loads of old schoolmates still, with me totally out of the picture now because i'm such a social FREAK.

Thats exactly what i hate about facebook etc. Its all about people promoting themselves! The most important thing is to have friends in real life, as opposed to superficial "people" on networking sites.

I always try to avoid idiots i didn't like in school/college. I didn't like them then, so why should i like them now!? lol It doesn't matter how many people you dislike, if they are crap people, they are not worth knowing.

 

[recluse]

I used to be a member of facebook but i got insanely jealous seeing people who were in school and college with me going on about the great night outs clubbing and the such, and they post pictures for everyone to see as if they want people to see how sociable they are....They also have hundreds of friends. What pissed me off was that fact that assholes who treated me like shit at school suddenly become friendly and wanted to add me as a friend. I much prefer spending time on forums like this one thankyou, atleast i canrelate with you people.

 

[TheManWithNoName]

Recently shut down my facebook and gotta say it was for the best. Had been sitting there with no activity for months and months, all I used it for was for the good old 'facebook stalking,' just brought up regrets of people in high school who I wish I got to know better, old childhood friends who I have nothing in common with, or the people who I screwed up with. Why dwell on past mistakes though when there's still a future ahead of me? Facebook's another horrible social phobia world on it's own anyway, I've got the real world to deal with first.

 

[IBM]

I used to be a member of facebook but i got insanely jealous seeing people who were in school and college with me going on about the great night outs clubbing and the such...

Lots of people put in Hi5's, Myspace's, etc. pics of themselves in other countries, with their love mates, with friends with some alcohol glass. Almost everyone put it.

The annoying is that they are showing it everywhere and in everycorner.
It happened once on the office collegues met to see Hi5's of each one. I realized that i was the only one without it. I was so embarassed, so ashamed and so sad .

I dont why they do it? It is a contest? If it is then they are on Premier League and i'm on Lastier League. I just fucking hate it .[/b]

 

[lunarskye]

Recently shut down my facebook and gotta say it was for the best. Had been sitting there with no activity for months and months, all I used it for was for the good old 'facebook stalking,' just brought up regrets of people in high school who I wish I got to know better, old childhood friends who I have nothing in common with, or the people who I screwed up with. Why dwell on past mistakes though when there's still a future ahead of me? Facebook's another horrible social phobia world on it's own anyway, I've got the real world to deal with first.

LOL I so can relate with the "facebook stalking" I didn't have one and all of a sudden my old friends IMed me and were like get on you have to. I can't wait to see you again and hang out. I did and we didn't ever hang out. We stopped talking and they moved on with their lives. i would imagine myself visiting new countries and stuff and then i'd go on my friends FB page and she she'd already had done that. I wanted to cry.

 

[vitalis]

I used to be a member of facebook but i got insanely jealous seeing people who were in school and college with me going on about the great night outs clubbing and the such, and they post pictures for everyone to see as if they want people to see how sociable they are....They also have hundreds of friends. What pissed me off was that fact that assholes who treated me like shit at school suddenly become friendly and wanted to add me as a friend. I much prefer spending time on forums like this one thankyou, atleast i canrelate with you people.

Hehe, that's exactly how I felt about it, and I'm guessing to turn it off. Popularity is not precisely our best point, so better do what you've said. The Internet is a free space, so let's be part of the sites we like; in the end, FB and other sites seem to be something like a Global Government ID that everyone has to join if wants to be a human.