fighting about my social issues

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Agent_Violet

Well-known member
My husband and I got into a heated discussion about my lack of desire to socialize schmooze with various people for networking purposes.

My final decision was to move out. I'm sick of fighting about who I am. I'm sick of him not understanding i'm not like him. I'm sick of being forced to attend parties and gatherings with better educated people, older people whom i have nothing in common with,and being exposed to his judgmental,nosey,picky,rude mother.

The catch is i can't move until the tenant moves out of my condo unit...in April or May. :( She signed a lease so i can't kick her out.

*sigh* for now, H and I have decided to live as roommates. It's going to be a long long winter.
 
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Vampayah88

Well-known member
So you decided to temporary move out or actually divorce? Im sorry to hear about this. But if you feel like you're doing the right thing, maybe its for the best in the long run.
 
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Agent_Violet

Well-known member
We're testing out the whole 'live apart marriage' thing. We'll still see each other whenever we can and we'll talk on the phone...basically exclusively dating. we'll spend holidays together...well..the ones that i don't have to spend with his mother there.

I think it will be good for us. I never was right for this wife stuff. perhaps creating some distance and going back to dating will help us. We really were great when we lived apart.
 
A86

A86

Well-known member
nothing like a bit of calming 'by yourself' time to organise your thoughts, evaluate things you may or may not take for granted and reorder your prioritys.
Its a lot better than making impromptu rushed descisions because of an emotional outburst.
Hope you weigh up your options so its best for you (need to be a little selfish sometimes)
 
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Agent_Violet

Well-known member
i'm definitely due for some selfish decisions at this point in my life. i'm just sick of all the hustle and busy body crap of being married to this person. I didn't realize it was going to be like that when we moved in together and got married. I barely have time to breathe unless I'm at work slacking off (like now...). He makes everything an urgent emergency...oh my f**king goodness there's a dish in the sink...must.clean.the.dish.asap.

yeah...that's him. that's just the tip of the iceberg. I'm drowning in a marriage to an ocd person.
 
Section_31

Section_31

Well-known member
Im sorry to hear this Violet. Sounds like you guys had this situation going on for a while.

I wish i had insight, but as someone who's been married only a year, i dont think id have much to offer you. My wife and me have had the odd spat as well but thats pretty rare for us. Was your husband always this social when you guys first met?. Or did he change afterwards?.

One thing to keep in mind, you probably know this one already, but everybody and their dog has an opinion on what the right thing to do is. The only one who really knows whats right for you, is you. If you need to live apart for a while to get yourself sorted and re-approach things from a different angle, i say good on you. At least your doing that and trying to work on things. Youve got a good head on your shuolders.

Keep us posted!
 
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Agent_Violet

Well-known member
thanks for the encouragement..it helps

he started off being more subdued and not so social...like me. i always knew he was uptight and extremely type A but i stupidly thought it was something i could live with bc i love him so much. but then he told me he was subdued and not social bc he was going through some depression and now i've made him so happy that he is back to himself again...social butterfly, networking,etc...

i love nothing more than spending time with just him. i could live my life being around only him..going to parks,movies,restaurants,museums,etc. but he always wants to shove the rest of the world down my throat.
 
coyote

coyote

Well-known member
your story sounds very much like my last marriage

only she was the one who decided i should leave
 
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