feeling unworthy, its not letting me take care of myself..

[no1]

I'm afraid of going to the store. Any store.. for fear of people thinking I am unworthy of spending money, or even just unworthy of living. To buy groceries. To buy clothes.

I feel like I should live like a peasant amongst people, and spend as little as possible. I don't make my own money, I go to school, I've had insomnia for a long time. I'm a stupid vegetarian. to eat at a public place. or just to get food in general seems like with the economy the way it is, everything seems just so expensive nowadays. I've made it so that I spend less money than a meat eater as a vegetarian.... but still. just to go through the hassle, I think people judge me as unworthy of anything, anywhere I go. Taking a walk, exercising outside.

I guess I just want to know Im worth something but nothing shows me I am. I can't think of a reason why I'm worthy of anything. I have no friends, nobody to tell me I exist for a reason, or that I am worth anything. If I come up with reasons myself, it doesn't mean anything to me. I need it from someone else. I am not included in this "society" as a "social" being, integrated in society. I am not included in anyone's life other than my parents. Thus what worth do I have?

 

[Ubersonic]

I'm not taking care of myself either, but I'm just too scared to go out. When I do my heart is pounding the whole time and I can't concentrate on anything. It's just too much stress and it ruins my day.

However, If I'm going somewhere with a friend I'm okay. :?

 

[DaaaBulls]

Other people cannot make you feel "worthy" or not. You have to feel that way about yourself. Relying on other people isn't the way to go because the first time something bad happens you will revert right back to where you are. Once you feel like you yourself is worthy then it won't matter to you what others think and thus you will feel as empowered as you want to be. It is truly hard to find new people in life after I would say freshman year in college. I think the key is that once you stop looking then you will find the people you want to be around. I look back in elementary school and middle school and I always had an easy time making friends, and one of the reasons was because I could careless whether I had any friends or not and I wasn't really looking for best friends. Once you accept yourself and start having some confidence in who you are other people will slowly start to come into your life.

 

[Lea]

No1 I find your posts quite amusing, also because I can relate, you should definitely come back!

 

[danstelter]

I'm afraid of going to the store. Any store.. for fear of people thinking I am unworthy of spending money, or even just unworthy of living. To buy groceries. To buy clothes.

I feel like I should live like a peasant amongst people, and spend as little as possible. I don't make my own money, I go to school, I've had insomnia for a long time. I'm a stupid vegetarian. to eat at a public place. or just to get food in general seems like with the economy the way it is, everything seems just so expensive nowadays. I've made it so that I spend less money than a meat eater as a vegetarian.... but still. just to go through the hassle, I think people judge me as unworthy of anything, anywhere I go. Taking a walk, exercising outside.

I guess I just want to know Im worth something but nothing shows me I am. I can't think of a reason why I'm worthy of anything. I have no friends, nobody to tell me I exist for a reason, or that I am worth anything. If I come up with reasons myself, it doesn't mean anything to me. I need it from someone else. I am not included in this "society" as a "social" being, integrated in society. I am not included in anyone's life other than my parents. Thus what worth do I have?

This is a very good point, but I believe that all human beings have a certain level of worth. The best thing for you to do, is that even though you feel unworthy, tell yourself that you are worthy, even if you don't believe it, and tell yourself you are worthwhile because all humans have useful contributions to make to our world.

The next thing to do is to get out in the world and start making wortwhile contributions, and these can take any form that you would wish. If you don't have a job or don't like yours, volunteer for a handful of hours per week. You can do simple things like organizing paperwork for your local Red Cross, walking dogs for the Humane Society, or tutoring children after school (reading with them 1 on 1 in a local elementary school for example). These organizations are always looking for volunteers, and while it may not seem like much to you, it is very valuable in there eyes and in the eyes of the individuals that are being affected by your services.

Find a job that means something to you, that makes you feel like you are contributing to the world. You have talents that are useful, and if you don't think so, you either haven't developed or discovered them.

So, hold your head up, and no matter how bad you resist, tell yourself you are worthwhile and start taking some actions that worthwhile people take. Good luck and I hope that you find a happier place in life!