feeling physically ill when i think of facing the inlaws.

Section_31

Well-known member
good evening all,

Almost all my posts have been about my hunny, and her issues with SA. Ive mentioned that i have it, for the most part, pretty mildly.

There arent many triggers for my SA. Usually i just have a general annoyance with most people and have no desire or wish to be around them. But its not per se anxiety.

Untill i get to this subject.

My FIL, has always been a bully. He's bullied my wife throughout her whole life, and tried to do the same on me. He consider's himself a "man's man". Hes your stereotypical, 1950's mindset kind of person. If you cant see somthing physically wrong with someone, theyre just weak willed, or undisciplined, and need to "buck up".

Me, i would like to think that once i get to actually know someone and let them in my shell, im a fairly easy person to get along with. If faced with an unknown situation, i usually refer back to star trek, and think of what Jean-Luc Picard would do in a diplomatic situation. As goofy as my trekiness sounds, star trek has actually helped me get through some tough situations. In short, i try to find common ground with everyone.

With him, theres just no doing it.

He loves to constantly remind us what we arent doing, what we COULD be doing. Even though my babe has 2 degree's in a science field, its not good enough.

Me, im not religious enough, im not this, im not that, ect ect. Basically we just hear it so much, i feel sick when i even think of talking to him on the phone.

Were going up to see her parents on new yrs, or i should say, see her mom. This whole trip was my idea (stupid me, keep my mouth shut next time! :X) When i think of staying up there for 3 days, i really dont feel well, and i feel like i have to escape, almost claustrophobic i think.

I guess this late night ramble comes down to a simple question: does anyone on here, have any really overbearing relatives that are a trigger for SA?. And if faced with a situation where retreating for a few minutes isnt possible, what do you do?.

Looking for any advice.
 

Darryl

Well-known member
He sounds like my step father- so insecure.
Gotta keep the tough guy image at all costs.

So he will push all the buttons to fire up your SA and it won't take much as you are already sencing his presence.

I'm not defending him- but being of that generation he hasn't learn't to deal with his feeling's.
He was more than likely taught "feelings" is a sign of weakness.

I try to stay calm with my stepfather, I'll give him a beer and tell him how "brilliant" he is then dodge him as much as I can.

In the past I would usually grunt at him, but my mother and "him" are good with our kids, so I tell him what he wants to hear and my kids have grandparents.
 
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