HI , i am from singapore , age 30. Pretty much my life i have been living on the expense of my family.I have been staying at home for 5-6 years after i came out from army.Recently after my grandmother's death , i decided to take a step out to work.
I live in a housing estate that is closely knitted ,so people tend to know each other and after a few years people started to gossip about me.It comes to a point i realise i cant go down without people recognising me. Furthermore i live on the 6 storey , people talking down my block isnt helping me at all.All this while , i keep all my attention on a computer game called wow ,just to escape from reality.I have to close all my windows just to keep the noise out.I knew i should have step out long ago.
I felt i really cant cope with people in alot of ways ,even my colleagues.I will alway panick when they look in my direction or when i am out of the office doing some physical carrying.I will feel stressed and my face will tend to cramp and my colleagues and boss knows.I felt very bad cos when i was working at the beginning the place was very lively.I felt its due to my depressed state and paranoid ,they dont dare to talk anymore.When the office is full of people ,i lost focus ,my attention gave way and i really felt useless.At times i can just forget things that i done and i am alway anxious and miserable at work.
I know i shouldnt have taken SA as an excuse for lazing at home.I am really trying to get a job ,go work head home for a rest.Whenever i head out i see people making fun of me ,pointing fingers.(At times i knew they may not be talking about me) ,but at times i knew they were.It shouldnt have bothered me in the first place but i really felt hard to swallow.I really felt very miserable at work atm ,making me wonder why am i forcing myself to be more miserable in the first place. My fear seems never to stop.
Long story ,thanks to whoever read this
I live in a housing estate that is closely knitted ,so people tend to know each other and after a few years people started to gossip about me.It comes to a point i realise i cant go down without people recognising me. Furthermore i live on the 6 storey , people talking down my block isnt helping me at all.All this while , i keep all my attention on a computer game called wow ,just to escape from reality.I have to close all my windows just to keep the noise out.I knew i should have step out long ago.
I felt i really cant cope with people in alot of ways ,even my colleagues.I will alway panick when they look in my direction or when i am out of the office doing some physical carrying.I will feel stressed and my face will tend to cramp and my colleagues and boss knows.I felt very bad cos when i was working at the beginning the place was very lively.I felt its due to my depressed state and paranoid ,they dont dare to talk anymore.When the office is full of people ,i lost focus ,my attention gave way and i really felt useless.At times i can just forget things that i done and i am alway anxious and miserable at work.
I know i shouldnt have taken SA as an excuse for lazing at home.I am really trying to get a job ,go work head home for a rest.Whenever i head out i see people making fun of me ,pointing fingers.(At times i knew they may not be talking about me) ,but at times i knew they were.It shouldnt have bothered me in the first place but i really felt hard to swallow.I really felt very miserable at work atm ,making me wonder why am i forcing myself to be more miserable in the first place. My fear seems never to stop.
Long story ,thanks to whoever read this
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Are you sure that people are gossiping about you? If people feel the need to do that then they are very sad people! What reason would they have to talk about you?