Feel so ANXIOUS

Falkor

Falkor

1
I'm at my girlfriends house, and I've been doing pretty well, but today I feel Socially Anxious. I had to eat dinner with her parents and got scared and felt like eating upstairs, and now her dad asked us to get something with him at the store, and I just stayed home, she accepts my ''bag'', and says that she loves me. I am so happy with her understanding. But I just feel still odd and stupid and want to give her a Declaration, she says the declaration is fear, she can read it, but I wish I could feel less guilty about it, any thoughts?


Edit: I will blog about it daily, to talk more to people about it and become more Open.
 
Falkor

Falkor

1
My girlfriend totally accepts me, she says. She loves me, better than an assertive person because she loves sensetivity. And her mom accepts me, and her dad too. So that's great. Still so in fear ... I think the underlying reason is my parents harsh reactions, to my anxiety sometimes.. That I'm lazy Or any comments I want to be fine? I'm in pain, because of school kicking me out because I am not suitable in the company of internship.. because I stay at the toilets too long because of SA.... I really feel disgusting because of this reason, at school... I hate that I avoided and was quiet so much.. I hatred myself so much that I ended up in hospital.. in november... Because I did not sleep 5 nights and wanted to commit blabla myself. While I can't help it, people have bullied me and MADE me socially anxixous... If school would just ACCEPT ME AS A BEING... LOVED ME.. and the important people just LOVE ME AND DON'T JUDGE ME. i was so different than being fear of trusting people.. Sorry for my English.. I'm so warm that my girlfriend accepts me... I'm so fearing the dead end... I am loving her so much. But my whole being is ugly, that's how i feel. But I 'm glad she likes me.
 
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ImNotMyIllness

Well-known member
"If" "If" "If", enough of the ifs. Forget about school or your immediate family accepting you. YOU ARE ACCEPTED AND LOVED by your Girlfriend and her family. Don't fall into the trap defining your self worth on the condition "if" these people love me OR if I accomplish that. You'll never be happy if you do that. Life is crazy. The people that should accept and not judge you, can be the coldest, and a perfect stranger could end up being just like family.

Your girlfriend and her parents sound like your "new family"...now you have two. Work on your self acceptance and one day you will be ready for school. You're not disgusting, you're a beautiful soul, inside and out!
 
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