Kathryn
Well-known member
So I'm a few weeks from entering UF and I'm a nervous reck.
I haven't made a friend in 11 long years, and it's unlikely that I'll have any success in college. I have the social skills of a snail.
I've missed so much in life...teenage years are supposed to be the best years of your life, but I've wasted them away. And now they sit on the edge of my subcouncious and pull me into reality.
Lately I lock myself in my room and watch anime shows all day. They make me even more sad because they remind me of my childhood, and all the friends I could've made but refused to talk to throughout the years. I makes me feel so stupid, I can't believe that I've let my life sink like this. I feel like such a loser, and nothing makes me happy, not even those colorful shows.
My mom forces me to shop daily, in order to prepare for college. My room has filled up with all kinds of boxes and clothes, all waiting for the day of my departure. But it's all just a waste, and I feel as cold and lonesome as those pitless boxes.
At this point all I have are my two parents, who are as lonesome and tired as I am. My two sisters are a fleeting memory, and their empty rooms are filled with ghosts, full of angst at my presence. They want me to leave this house; to spend my days with the friends who never existed.
So I watch those happy little anime characters flock across the screen, and they remind me of my lost adolescence, my lost existence. I wonder if I'll ever be happy among people, and its likely that my depression will hold me back in college. I want so badly to belong somewhere in this world.
I haven't made a friend in 11 long years, and it's unlikely that I'll have any success in college. I have the social skills of a snail.
I've missed so much in life...teenage years are supposed to be the best years of your life, but I've wasted them away. And now they sit on the edge of my subcouncious and pull me into reality.
Lately I lock myself in my room and watch anime shows all day. They make me even more sad because they remind me of my childhood, and all the friends I could've made but refused to talk to throughout the years. I makes me feel so stupid, I can't believe that I've let my life sink like this. I feel like such a loser, and nothing makes me happy, not even those colorful shows.
My mom forces me to shop daily, in order to prepare for college. My room has filled up with all kinds of boxes and clothes, all waiting for the day of my departure. But it's all just a waste, and I feel as cold and lonesome as those pitless boxes.
At this point all I have are my two parents, who are as lonesome and tired as I am. My two sisters are a fleeting memory, and their empty rooms are filled with ghosts, full of angst at my presence. They want me to leave this house; to spend my days with the friends who never existed.
So I watch those happy little anime characters flock across the screen, and they remind me of my lost adolescence, my lost existence. I wonder if I'll ever be happy among people, and its likely that my depression will hold me back in college. I want so badly to belong somewhere in this world.
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