Failed in art school...

[Haruhiist]

It's my first year in art college, and I failed terribly.

I've had this feeling that I didn't give my all, because I was minder other stuff because of my SA. Like first adapting to a new environment, without anyone I know. I was so scared to have lunch each day, because I didn't have any friends at first, and I would always stay in the classroom or wander around in the city...

That, and being scared that people hate me, because I act so awkwardly (afraid of looking people in the eyes, or having problems with smiling...).

And because I was lazy, and maybe I'm talentless aswell, I failed.
Teachers said that I shouldn't come back, they didn't litterally say that I don't have talent, but that's what they keep implying. "Do something else", "If you need to do another year, you'll hurt yourself".

They really hurt me with their comments, and I know they're right, because my CURRENT work sucks. I didn't do anything for it, because every day felt so hectic, I minded a lot more about social contacts than art... Plus I was lazy, because when I was at home, I did nothing at all.
Now, I want to redo my year, giving it my all. I know that if I give it 100 %, I can achieve a lot of things. This turned out to be true when I was a kid, I never gave up, and I achieved a lot. I loved to draw, and I thought I had talent, but I stopped doing that since I went to highschool...

I'm wondering, am I always making up excuses: "I can do it if I WANT to". But I actually never "want" do to it, so when I fail, I keep saying that it's because I didn't do my best. I really don't know...

I'm so confused right now, and I'm scared for reapplying to the school, seeing the teachers again. They probably think "Oh... Look who's back again, after we explicitely told him not to come back"...

Sorry for the big rant, but I really need some support...

 

[Lea]

I can imagine that. Do you think the social interaction and anxiety messed your life so much that you couldn´t concentrate on your work? It can also result in depression and inferiority feeling and kill the artistic inspiration and exitement (or at least a bit of it) that you need in order to suceed..

 

[Hikari]

I know how you feel, and I was the same way growing up. I almost dropped out of university because my SA got so bad, as well as the depression along with it. The only reason I managed to finish is because of the help I got because I was considered disabled due to the SA.

I'd say try talking to your school. The SA being considered a disability let me have some more breathing room in regards to classes. I told some of my teachers about it too, and they did what they could to help. That might help you a lot, if you can do that. I never thought it would work for me or it would make people hate me, but it went well.

 

[Dronee]

Try recalling what made you fall in love with art in the first place... If you can recapture the essence of that attraction, then you'll love what you do... and when you love what you do, it's really hard not to do it well. Oh btw, there's a few 'artists threads' around here that allows the members to post up their works, so you can post some of your stuff, if you want.

 

[Haruhiist]

Thanks for the tips. Actually it all went better after a month and a bit, after I started making friends. But still, I was minding about stuff like how people perceive me, and love interests and stuff... Pretty stupid.

I love drawing, and you guys made me realize this once again. I'm really emberrassed to go back, because they explicitely told me not to. Guess I'll have to prove them wrong...

About telling the teachers: that would be kind of weird... It's a college after all, it's an adult-world. I can't expect them to treat me like a child. And even so, what can they do? Force people to be not feel awkward around me?
And it's emberrassing to tell them that. They would probably find it ridiculous too.

 

[Solar]

I'm doing an art academy, I'm about to enter my final year. With SA you can do a few things to make it easier for yourself, I've done it too

Since it's art, you'll just have to focus on your work and make sure it always gets finished. Socializing and communication isn't my thing as well. You said you made some friends, even if it's a small group, stick by it. But don't be too clingy and stuff.

If your work is noteworthy you can use it to gain some positive air. And even if your attitude seems weird, try to offer help. Especially if someone is a lot less better than you. They might not be persons with SA, but their confidence is lower.

And lastly, try to gain confidence in your own work.

Those are the tips I can give.

 

[Iseesky]

I spent a few months in art school before I dropped out. I hated the atmosphere. I made friends (or aquaintances more like) and had a few select people that I talked to regularly, but there were quite a few older artists (late 20s/30s) who acted like the younger ones were amateur and they were very patronising. And then there were the ones that would circle the painting room on breaks to make sure their fabulous paintings were better than yours and they'd give you halfhearted compliments like 'oh, that's good.' or 'that's interesting.' We had crits once every week or every couple of weeks where we'd take our work up in front of the class and talk about it...why we chose the colours we did and why we chose the subject matter...problems we came across while doing it...etc. Then everyone would spend 5 minutes making positive/negative comments on what worked and what didn't. That was hard for me. The teachers were nice. The SA got the best of me at some points though. I couldn't talk to them after school and when they were helping me during class I rushed the conversations as much as possible because I was nervous.

I just felt that it wasn't for me and decided to go into psychology instead.

Anyway, as for making friends...I noticed that everyone liked the people who payed attention to their work. Not just say 'that's nice' or 'that's good,' but make an actual comment like 'I like how you added the green on the bottom left corner. It really makes the (whatever) stand out!' Befriend the quiet ones who are in your situation. They're probably feeling left out too and would love to have somebody to eat lunch with and talk to in class. And someone else said, once you have a group of nice people, stick with them! Don't assume they think you're clingy or always around. They probably don't and you can't make assumptions for other people. Good for you for going back! The teachers may roll their eyes, but once you show them your true talent I'm sure they'll have lots of respect for you!

 

[Spike Lee]

I got kicked out of art school within the first week.

you're not as bad as me

 

[Spike Lee]

Also, the people who actually passed in Art school failed too (unless their parents are rich or they came from a rich family) because only 1 out of every 20 will go onto make a successful living in the art world.



you don't need a degree to make a living in art, you just need talent and a business sense.


I love art but an art degree is kinda worthless in todays society unless u come from a rich family and don't expect to make your own living or if you just enjoy the experience (which i do, would love to go back actually). My mom has a BA in fine art but has been working administration at a hospital for the last 25 years

 

[goldatom]

I want to tell you to do what you like the most. Of course it holds, and you should concentrate on your work more than socializing if socializing is difficult and affects your work (I've gone through it all and am now in the position to advice I believe). But I will have to agree with Spike Lee. You should do something which helps you to at least live comfortably. Here I will repeat wise words I heard from someone - do something which you like doing, which you're good at, and which earns you good money. That is, find the nearest such thing to do. This sounds the most optimal way to me.

Maybe graphics design could be a remunerative career for you, if you like art?