Facebook anxiety

[w*n*c*a*m]

I know I shouldn't make this a very big deal but I'm just slightly bothered by what I've done a while ago... So I really need your reactions no matter how positive or negative it is. Well here goes....

I just recently made a face book account and of course, I added friends and updated my profile and everything. But then the next day, 4 people asked me for a friend request. The other one is a "real" friend and the other three are my colleagues whom I don't really feel like adding because I don't talk to them that much and I have even hated them because of their bully attitude. I was just surprised that they will add me. But then, I want to add my "friend" and it will be too obvious that I ignored the "3" if I will not confirm them too. So I asked my BF and he told me to just add them so I will not look like a snob and delete them in my list "someday" so that they will not notice it.

And so I did.... but then I got kind'a pissed because I feel like they're "messing my news feed" because of their updates and shout outs that I don't really even care. And so I changed my mind and deleted the "3" instantly.

And so I'm having a mixed emotion now. I feel like I just did the right thing because it's my facebook anyway. And I feel horrible at the same time because I could have just ignored them than add and delete them. I looked more rude than just a plain snob.

So people, I need your comments. Thanks.

 

[eckoz]

ud be better off IMO if u just added them and not cared what they said/ dont pay much attention to facebook at all anyway. i dont even have one. all of my friends do. it doesnt bother me.

 

[Shift]

I think it's good that you deleted them. And if they are bullies, then you shouldn't worry about them too much.

 

[dmdmm]

Just so you know, you can put your real friends in a group. Then set it to where you only see the feeds coming from people in that group. Even that just that group can see your wall.

See here:
How to: Group privacy settings on Facebook via the friends list tutorial | Gibberish Is My Native Language

 

[reslo]

usually i'll add somebody unless they're a complete stranger. However, there is often times a lot of personal information on facebook (some people put their addresses/phone numbers on there)- so if you don't want people to have that info, then definitely don't add them.
It's your page and you can do what you want.
If I only had the people that I talk to as my friends on facebook, I would have 1/10 the friends (about 5). Most people don't talk to most of their facebook friends- that number there is just for show. Haven't heard from people in years that im facebook friends with.
And like dmdmm was saying, you can delete people (without deleting them as friends) from the feed so you don't have to hear all the annoying posts from people.
I usually add people, and unless they harass me (and won't stop- only has happened once)- then I'll delete them.
But it sounds like you've had some bad experiences with these people- and you probably don't need them in your life. If they are mean to you, then it's a possibility they may have added you so they can increase their number of friends? and if that's the case, then you shouldn't feel bad.
so my opinion is that if you feel neutral towards them, accept. negative, then you have the right to decline, (and even send a message explaining why-- i had to do that with an ex who tried to contact me who was/is just two-faced and there was no way they were going to weasel their way into my life.)

so what's done is done-- they may or may not attempt to add you again. i wouldn't stress over it too much.

 

[sullyS1985]

If you don't like them and think they are bullies then that is great that u deleted them as friends. The truth is they probably won't even realize you did so don't worry about it you are fine.

 

[w*n*c*a*m]

Well, thanks for the reply guys. But I feel so horrible now because I told it to my boyfriend and he said that I acted like a real snob from what I did. He said that he doesn't really understand me sometimes. Because it's just a simple thing but I acted so mean. Now he wants me to add them again but I said no. So yeah, I feel so guilty now. But yeah, I'm Ok. I know I did wrong. So I just have to accept this guilt. I should have asked your opinion first before I did something dumb. I didn't know that I can hide feeds or something just to avoid seeing their annoying updates. But I will still be looking forward to all your reactions. And thanks so much to those who took the time to reply.

 

[da_illest101]

i know how you feel, you feel like you have to talk to them because they are on your list, i don't know how to help with this i got the same problem

 

[Emily_G]

You can hide people's comments on News/Live Feed. That way they can still be on your friend's list, but you don't have to see what they are saying.

 

[w*n*c*a*m]

So today, I checked my Facebook again and got another request from my other colleagues whom I don't really talk with. So I took all your advices. I confirmed them all and hid their feeds. But you know, every time I do these things, I have this guilt feeling. It's like I'm feeling sorry for myself because I can't have any choices. I mean, I have choices but I rather do the "right" thing just to avoid hurting other people's feelings or be seen as a snob.
But really, the reason why I don't like adding them is because I have this feeling that they're just doing it because they want to know "who is THIS GUY's (my boyfriend) girlfriend (ME)". Some of those who added me are people who "have/had a crush/interest on him". So I feel like they will just spy on me. Although, I have nothing to hide, I just don't feel like sharing some things to those people. But in a lighter side, I just think that maybe they just want to increase their FRIEND LIST and they won't bother checking on my profile... or maybe they're just really curious and that's it.

It's funny why I'm making a big deal out of this. But I'm really glad for all your responses. (^-^)

 

[Helyna]

By colleague you mean someone you work with, right? Just tell them you're sorry, and you felt guilty about this at first, so you added them, but now you've chosen to stick with it: you don't add coworkers. Your account is only for friends you know outside of work.
Could that do it?

 

[elek2ronik]

I think you're reading too much into it. It's your facebook page and it should be for people you want to keep in touch with and dont mind communicating with. If you dont know them, or know them but dont care to communicate with and have them see your activity, then don't confirm them or just delete them.

It wont hurt thier feelings, they will understand...and if they dont, then they will get over it. I say dont bother with the hiding of feeds or comments, just keep it simple and keep the ones you want on there.

 

[theoneandonly]

Don't worry, they probably won't even notice that you removed them.

People really can get annoying with their status updates, so I just remove them.

 

[w*n*c*a*m]

When I first posted this message, it was also my first time to use facebook.
I actually feel silly now that I made this Friend request thing a big dilemma.
Maybe because I was still overwhelmed since it's a social networking site.
But now that I feel comfortable using it. I don't d*mn care if I ignore them or not.
I now add nice acquaintances or officemates and hide them in my feeds if i don't really care about their updates. I deleted those I don't like and even blocked them. And most importantly I did not ask for other's opinion especially my boyfriend, if I did the right thing or not. I'm not really being mean. I just want to decide for myself and control my own facebook. You guys helped a lot.