I've always been insecure about my facial expressions towards other people and how they react to me. It used to be mild but now I'm obsessively locked in my face (for years now, I'm 24). My head twitches when I'm in public and my face is so tense I look completely contorted and people always look at me in anger or discust and I try to smile at them but I just feel like a creep when I do, and their reactions show me I am just that. People that know me even have a hard time looking at my face because they know how I feel about it. I'm not a bad looking guy, but I think it roots from wanting to look good (8th grade past stuff) and an old friend once told me I look ugly when I'm mad so ever since I've been obsessed with this. It feels like the grip of godzilla himself pulling every muscle in my face and body every moment I wake up to going to bed. I can't socialize obviously in this way when I'm so panicked about people looking at me. I've tried breathing excersizes, meditations, compassionate awareness, everything it seems but part of me doesn't want to leave this small little imprisoned world I'm in because it fears it will loose control or something. So I'm constantly controlling my breath (forcing breath, can't breath), controlling my body and face, and I forgot how to relax, my body is literally in a panick whirlwind every waking moment, in fear of fear itself but mostly this face curse I've been given to such extremes it makes it impossible to live! Ugh! I'm obsessed with all of it, I've lost friends, girlfriends, ledt jobscause I just couldn't take it anymore, its ruined my life for so many years now and I don't know what else to do. Its so exhausting seeing your reflection wherever u look, "knowing" they will judge and give u disapproving reactions and I wished that didn't get to me, but it does every time! I've become master of avoidance but it seems there is no way out. I'm tired of it, strained to every inch of my body, hidden in the back woods waiting for a savior of some sort. This is no way to live, I fear I will die knowing I couldn't fight this thing, hiding away forever. Anybody else have anything remotely similar? Long post sorry, its my first one so thought id get this out in the open, thanx for listening -T