Eye contact / movements

[Haruhiist]

How does it work, I'm really aching to know...

When I was younger (I can even say a few years ago...) I didn't spend attention on that. The more I think about it, the more I mess up.

Like looking people too deep in the eye. Recently, I've had this feeling that people feel uncomfortable when I look at them when talking to them. What do I do wrong? I really want to know. But sometimes, when I'm not thinking about it, everything seems to be normal and we both feel fine.

There must be something that I do wrong, I'd love to see myself in a conversation.

Sometimes, in public spaces, like trains, I just happen to look outside of the window. But then, people always need to look at me, like it's because I've been watching them (I'm clearly not, because I pay attention in not doing so!). I really don't get it, what do I do wrong with my eyes?

 

[Haruhiist]

I understand what you mean. There are times when I feel perfectly comfortable when I'm talking to people and looking at them. And your way is really good, it gradually builds confident. Thanks for the tip. It's just that there must be something I do too abruptly, so it shows that I'm feeling awkward, and other people sense that too. For instance, when I feel comfortable in a conversation, people don't act awkwardly. But when I feel bad, and do not want to look at people, I force myself to look at them anyway, and I can just see it on their face that they do not want to make eye contact either (even with close family members!). I think it's the speed I move my eyes, when I feel awkward, I tend to gaze really quickly, and that makes people uneasy I think.

 

[jishaku]

talking about making eye contact.. i am having problems with teachers..
i make them nervous and uneasy whenever I look at them.. so instead of looking at me, they will look at everybody but never will they look at me..
If they accidentally looked at me, they couldn't continue talking and had bitter look on their face...
this result in me being hated by the teachers.. but i did nothing wrong..
so now, everyday in high school is just hellish for me..

 

[Haruhiist]

I know what you mean... I've got people who I got along with in the beginning, but because they feel bad around me, they subconsciously think I did something bad. So they start to act unfriendly around me.

You know what I used to do, I would look at the blackboard to avoid eye contact, or I would just look at my book. Then if they say that if you're not paying attention, just say you do, because you really were. They're probably going to ask to repeat what they said, and since you're "innocent", you can just pull that off.

 

[jishaku]

No they will never ask me if I'm paying attention or not, since they do not care.. same goes to me.. ::
And no, I don't have that "innocent" look.. Most probably why teachers hate to look at me..

 

[Exposure]

Hey guys , i completely understand where your coming from , its pure hell , i feel anxiety if someone even looks at me , like my heart skips a beat and i get that sinking feeling in my stomach , the answer to this is we need to stop trying to appear normal and the key word ACCEPT these issues and they wont be an issue any longer this works the same with blushing , hand trembling and the like , we put so much pressure on ourselves to stop doing these things that we actually make them happen , when were not thinking off these things were fine , it takes practice but it is the answer , the key , try it out , peace .

 

[Haruhiist]

Thanks. I realize that, but it's so hard sometimes.

It's like I can do easy stuff on my own, like throwing something from afar into the garbage can. But when people are watching, all my mind think is "you can't do it, you'll fail" and I end up failing. But you most certainly are right.

 

[cobalt_bluester]

hi guys. i have this unusual eye contact issue where my eyes will not move of their own accord or flicker left to right when making eye contact. It is making me seriously ill now as has been going on for too long, and it's effecting every single aspect of my life. I am trying to beat it, but so far I'm losing the battle and life is just so hard!!!

When I look at someone I don't know where to look and I am constantly distracted by other parts of the face that I am not looking at. It's really been tearing my mind up with stress, and I don't know how to overcome this try as I might. any tips would be hugely appreciated. Thanks, Richard

 

[Haruhiist]

i've gotten much better at looking "older people" in the eye. and the only way i managed to get better at this, was by "forcing" myself to look into their eyes no matter how difficult it was

But then, they would only get uncomfortable (I notice that THEY tend to look away then). So I get in this viscious circle of awkwardness.

 

[jishaku]

But then, they would only get uncomfortable (I notice that THEY tend to look away then). So I get in this viscious circle of awkwardness.

omg this is to true..happens to me all the time

 

[lilac02]

I have problems looking people in the eye, especially if they're authority figures. I know I should try to just do it, no matter how uncomfortable I feel, but when I feel self-conscious I blush badly, and it's impossible to maintain eye contact while my face is so red/hot because a) I know I look horrible b) I know I'm blushing and it's weird and completely uncalled for c) sometimes the blushing makes my eyes water.

 

[Single Player Gamer]

I'm getting better at looking people in the eye, but people sound hesitate to talk to me, when I do....I'm a bit timid. Also pale and generally creepy looking so I'm told. One thing you can try is looking at the persons nose, right under there eyes....till you feel confident enough to look them in the eyes. They don't seem able to notice the difference.

 

[dead24]

Sometimes, in public spaces, like trains, I just happen to look outside of the window. But then, people always need to look at me, like it's because I've been watching them (I'm clearly not, because I pay attention in not doing so!). I really don't get it, what do I do wrong with my eyes?

I always experience this. Mostly in public places and in university. I just hate this, people probably think im gonna steal from them or something. In university it gets annoying especially with girls, like they think i like them