Lamb
Well-known member
:question:
I'm sure this thread has been created before. My view might be a little bizarre though; I'm wondering if anyone else thinks the same way or has shared similar experiences.
I've always had poor eye contact. If someone is engaging in a conversation with me I can hold it just fine. I can glance at strangers too.
What I can't do is stare back at strangers who are staring at me.
Holding eye contact with a stranger usually results in a bad outcome for me. They rarely break eye contact first (like people always suggest they will) and keep staring. Which in return makes me grow increasingly angry and fed up by the time I leave wherever I am. This usually occurs riding trains.
I have a weird way of thinking about eye contact.
Since when someone is staring at me, anxiety starts to kick in- in my mind, I try to encourage myself. "Nothing's wrong with you" "Dont look back and give them the benefit of..acknowledging them" "it's because they're envious". Even if I don't believe this, I try to convince myself. I do have feelings of inferiority.
I don't want to look at them back because I feel it enables them in some way. I'll think they don't deserve a smile from me, and I put my miserable face on. Not staring back has always seemed like a way of rebeling against the hold someone might place on me. Or think they're placing.
If I do look (because it's too much sometimes), I can feel a challenge growing with the people who are daring. And of course, I break eye contact first because it gets too weird, and intense. I sometimes wish that eye contact was an open invitation to just start fighting like wild animals. lol. I'd gladly take the opportunity to smash someone's face in.
So my point is, I try not to do it because I feel it makes me better in some way. But that continually leaves me dissatisfied. I know it may often give off the vibe that I am "weaker" in some way, which is the last thing I want.
An example: The other day I was on the train and two females were sitting across from where I was standing. They were staring at me, (and I concluded- possibly talking about me because they were looking and talking). I made eye contact with them for less than a minute and they would not stop staring afterwards. Until they got up and left. It pissed me off. Even though I wanted to glance again because they were annoying, I made myself not make eye contact because I felt they didn't "deserve" it.
Is my view backwards? I don't want the staring to keep happening. I want some way to break the cycle, which won't get me arrested. Helppp x)
I'm sure this thread has been created before. My view might be a little bizarre though; I'm wondering if anyone else thinks the same way or has shared similar experiences.
I've always had poor eye contact. If someone is engaging in a conversation with me I can hold it just fine. I can glance at strangers too.
What I can't do is stare back at strangers who are staring at me.
Holding eye contact with a stranger usually results in a bad outcome for me. They rarely break eye contact first (like people always suggest they will) and keep staring. Which in return makes me grow increasingly angry and fed up by the time I leave wherever I am. This usually occurs riding trains.
I have a weird way of thinking about eye contact.
Since when someone is staring at me, anxiety starts to kick in- in my mind, I try to encourage myself. "Nothing's wrong with you" "Dont look back and give them the benefit of..acknowledging them" "it's because they're envious". Even if I don't believe this, I try to convince myself. I do have feelings of inferiority.
I don't want to look at them back because I feel it enables them in some way. I'll think they don't deserve a smile from me, and I put my miserable face on. Not staring back has always seemed like a way of rebeling against the hold someone might place on me. Or think they're placing.
If I do look (because it's too much sometimes), I can feel a challenge growing with the people who are daring. And of course, I break eye contact first because it gets too weird, and intense. I sometimes wish that eye contact was an open invitation to just start fighting like wild animals. lol. I'd gladly take the opportunity to smash someone's face in.
So my point is, I try not to do it because I feel it makes me better in some way. But that continually leaves me dissatisfied. I know it may often give off the vibe that I am "weaker" in some way, which is the last thing I want.
An example: The other day I was on the train and two females were sitting across from where I was standing. They were staring at me, (and I concluded- possibly talking about me because they were looking and talking). I made eye contact with them for less than a minute and they would not stop staring afterwards. Until they got up and left. It pissed me off. Even though I wanted to glance again because they were annoying, I made myself not make eye contact because I felt they didn't "deserve" it.
Is my view backwards? I don't want the staring to keep happening. I want some way to break the cycle, which won't get me arrested. Helppp x)
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