extreme episode

[Falkor]

Warning, this is a serious post.

Just yet I talked to my parents
and i told them i'm very depressed, i have SA, no school, wake up at 1 pm everyday, and i have a pointless life
they said oh you are responsible for your depression, you trigger it yourself
then i started tripping
i said HELLO I AM DEPRESSED THAT'S NOT ME THE DEPRESSION AND MY LIFE IS A HORROR
and then they said shut your ****ing mouth, everytime i made a crying noise
what kind of parents are they??!!!
and then i said IM GONNA BURN MYSELF BECAUSE OF YOU
and i walked upstairs and hit myself a few times
against the wooden stairs
with my head so hard that it hurts now

I really feel suicidal, everyday i wake up at 1pm, i envy my brother because he has got a social life, he goes to school each day, he has a lover and a lot of friends, and i hate my parents they totally hurt me with their not understanding and i go insane because of this life i'm living. it's a true horor.

 

[kihira]

It's a strange thing, but the people nearest you can be the least supportive, sometimes you have to be your own parent to yourself and let go of expecting that care will come from nearby when you need it. Give yourself some love and care, starting with no more self-hurting, ok? You're in a bad place now, but it will get better, it will pass, so go easy on yourself for now

 

[Silatuyok]

Hi Falkor,
I know you are in a lot of excruciating pain right now, and it feels like it's never going to go away. But this pain will go away, and by the end of the day you will be feeling better. I won't be the one to tell you not to hit your head or burn yourself, because I know that it can help in times like this. But you can also find other ways to get out all that negative energy that is stuck inside you right now. You could go for a run, or you could just cry and cry it all out til you are exhausted. You can also write it all out in a journal or here online, though I know you probably don't feel like doing that right now. But it would be good for you.
Your parents care, but you're right they don't understand, and they are probably scared because of the pain you feel and the way it manifests. They aren't handling it well, but they probably don't know what else to do.
Try to focus on something, anything that is comforting or normally makes you happy. Your mind wants to turn inward and focus on the pain it is feeling, but you have to force yourself to look outward, look at something else until the episode goes away. Because it will go away. You just have to hang in there for a little while.
*big hugs*