Eh... appointment with crisis center tomorrow...

[Ericisme]

eh... I don't know what to do. I finally broke and told my mom everything today, she instantly goes to the crisis hotline and say I should go to a mental hospital place... cuz I said I wanted to die and such... But instead I've got an appointment tomorrow morning... I don't know what to do... I doubt any of this will help. I wouldn't be suprised if this is costing us lots of money which we do not have. Then I only have insurance for another month, so I will only have a counselor for a session or 2, which probably won't help much at all... so I doubt any of this will work...

I actually would wanna go to a mental hospital, just not that kind. Kind with a bunch of random weirdos and stuff. More like one where they help you and you can do whatever, kinda. But I mean one for people with SA, not just a bunch of random people.

 

[madmike]

It sounds like you really could do with the help, but i don't know if a mental hospital really is the best idea. I'd personally leave that open as a last resort, and try instead to seek help from counsellors, psychologists and other help groups first. But all the best either way, i'm sure you'll pull out of it!

 

[pandamonium77]

Psychologists and therapists would be best. Mental hospitals seem like a very scary place with all the psycho people in there D:

 

[Ericisme]

Yea, I'd rather not go to one of them. Although I'd love to get away from my family, wouldn't wanna spend it with weirdo strangers. I didn't mean I wanted to die now either, I meant it as like... lets just say I meant it was suppose to be my finish line. I'll give up on getting better now, since obviously I'm not allowed to, then kill myself when I get tired of it a year or so later.

 

[Morgan01]

I would just be totally honest and see what they advise

 

[danstelter]

I would just be totally honest and see what they advise

Probably the best strategy. While you may not like it, you were threatening suicide and do have a vague plan to carry it out in the future, which means that your mom probably made the right move. You don't need long term hospitalization, but a short break for now is okay. And, do listen to what these professionals advise. They want you to feel better not because it's their job, but because they care about other people, including you. These professionals get a real thrill out of helping other people, and their goal is to see that other people are healthy and happy. What can it hurt to listen to them anyway? If you listen to what they say and work along, you might get better, but you know that if you keep doing what you are doing now, things will assuredly not go well. Good luck and I know you have the courage and strength in you to get better in life! Let us know how it goes!

 

[Ericisme]

Yea, I guess I told them everything they asked. The thing is... the entire time they had some person behind her on the computer. She was like training on the computer... so I'm talking to these 2 strangers the whole time... Then of course the stupid eye contact... what I do is after they are staring at me for several minutes and talking to me, every once in a while I'll look at them, but just for a split second, then look away. That's probably stupider than just not looking at her, right? I don't know what to do, I don't get it. But otherwise I guess it went fine. I seem to always feel maybe a little better after them, even if they weren't meant to help me, yet. It was just paperwork and junk... not actually helping me yet. Maybe social contact with people who aren't my family more than once every 2 years is a good thing, it seems to make me feel a little better.

 

[danstelter]

Having a girl training on a computer while you are dumping all kinds of personal details is an unethical and unprofessional violation of your confidentiality. I don't get why someone would allow that at all....but kudos to you for complying with the whole thing...hopefully it actually helps. Let us know what is happening as you go through the whole thing.