Egoism?

[Daniel089]

I wonder if I fall into the category of egoists or not. I think I got an attention-seeking habit when I'm talking with people, I want to make a good impression on them. And I feel so delighted and swell-headed, when everything goes as planned, but usally everyone can talk easily, liberately with each other, like clockwork, only I "run into walls".
I do that sometimes, because I know if I'd share what really is in mind, that wouldn't arouse anyone's interest.

Maybe it's a different topic, but sometimes when I video comments on youtube some girls say 'this guy is hot! I love her". It would be so great if someone had written something about me to others - "this guy is cool, or he's charming, or he's great!" Or if someone had made a photo of me and a bunch of girls. Because in that case I would matter to people even a little bit.

Maybe I'm capable of doing all these, but as long as I only dream about these I'm just a laughing matter...

 

[MrSunday]

Hmmm

I wonder if egoism is similar to narcissism. I think I'm narcissistic, after reading several articles about it. I tend to look down at people and feel superior. I have this mentality where I must have it my way and I will do whatever it takes to get there. I don't care if I have to use people in the process.

After being honest with myself, I look down at people in general because to feel better about myself. When I received so much criticism about my academic ability, how I look, how I talk, how I walk (I'm clumsy) and the fact that I'm terrible at sports, it just shattered my confidence. It was hard to deal with so much criticism. So the only way I feel better is to look down at people and I admit it works. It gives me a boost of confidence and I can appear to be intimidating when I'm in this mode.