Dreading work

[recluse]

I'm dreading work again tomorrow, well I suppose everyone does :lol:

But my reason is because of the guy I share rides to work with. I don't like him much and it's so awkward because I don't feel like talking to him and it's a 45 minute commute to work. I was happy before when I drove alone to work, just listening to my cd's.

 

[YankeeBob]

making healthy choices

so....what is it about the chap you drive to work with that bothers you?

his values?

his feelings ?

his behaviours ?

you see we get to choose what we think about others. we can choose to see them as flawed...unhealthy people ( irony as we have our own issues )...or we can find out certain qualities they have that we like.

of course do nothing ....procrastinating ....is something we can also do.

 

[dottie]

i so did not want to go to work tonight. :evil: tooth and nail. having to commute with someone you don't particularly care for, for 45 minutes just to get there would be shitty. turn on a radio talk show so you aren't expected to talk so much!

 

[YankeeBob]

dottie....what is it about this chap that is an issue for

...you?

can you be specific in terms of his ( I am assuming its a man )

1) values,


2) feelings,


3) behaviours


...that trouble you?

 

[Joey86]

That sounds hellish to me!... being stuck with only one other in the car... it's like you're expected to talk. At least with 3 or 4 people, they can chat amoungst themselves, and you can stay silent.

 

[recluse]

Re: making healthy choices

so....what is it about the chap you drive to work with that bothers you?

his values?

his feelings ?

his behaviours ?

you see we get to choose what we think about others. we can choose to see them as flawed...unhealthy people ( irony as we have our own issues )...or we can find out certain qualities they have that we like.

of course do nothing ....procrastinating ....is something we can also do.

He has to have an answer for everything even though someone says something in work that they know is right he'll say the opposite.

He's a back-seat driver

He thinks he is gods gift to women

etc, etc. I thought he was ok before, but then he suggested we share rides to work as we live close-ish to each other, but as soon as we started sharing rides a year ago I begun to see his true colours. One example of when he has really pissed me off is when I was 5 minutes late one morning and he gave me a lecture about being late, and we always get to work with 10 minutes to spare anyway! Also one day my workmate was trying to finnish some urgent work before the end so I helped him,and he came up to me with a face like thunder saying ''Come on! It's time to go!'' and it's not as if I was working over the 5pm, but he usually stops working at 4pm and walks about doing nothing! For a few months my sister was coming with us as she doesn't drive and he was bossing her around.

 

[recluse]

That sounds hellish to me!... being stuck with only one other in the car... it's like you're expected to talk. At least with 3 or 4 people, they can chat amoungst themselves, and you can stay silent.

Exactly! I sometimes prefer it when there are other people to take the attention away from me.

 

[silentscreams]

I'm dreading work again tomorrow, well I suppose everyone does :lol:

But my reason is because of the guy I share rides to work with. I don't like him much and it's so awkward because I don't feel like talking to him and it's a 45 minute commute to work. I was happy before when I drove alone to work, just listening to my cd's.

My ds doesn't like talking to most ppl and as for driving somewhere with someone he didn't know particularly well or like it probably wouldn't happen.
I think if you have this it is difficult to make small talk even if you even wanted to and some ppl will make you uncomfortable sometimes without even realizing it.
I work in a large factory and it can be very difficult dealing with so many ppl but I am and I do and somedays are better than others.
Definitely look forward to the week-ends when I am OFF.
Trying to do this isn't easy and it takes courage to actually be out there and work and everyday for most of us is a daily struggle...
I can understand why you would dread work...we feel safe if we are by ourselves or should I say safer.

 

[YankeeBob]

Switching from being a "people pleaser" to standin

...oneself.

Dottie: those of us who are quiet all the time are like the tip of an iceberg. Everyone takes our silence to mean "I am ok about your behavior and attitudes".

i was at a meeting last night and a woman there shared about her deciding to stop being a people pleaser. afterwards i asked her ( she is in her 40s now ) how long she had been working on CHANGING her behaviors.

She said about six months.

Well good for her.

It takes courage to change.

anyhow, being quiet and shy ....these are habits. Just like the behavior of the man who annoys you has his own "habits".

what do you think your options are ( your choices ) about dealing with this stressful situation?

be well