Dr. Richards self help audio tapes report.

[Anonymous]

Hi,I've just started Dr. Richards tapes.got them Yesterday,they seem to be very focused on SA.At the start he talks about his own SA and gives some examples,like how he wouldn't go outside if he thought his neighbours would be there,as he couldn't face having to talk with them.How he would be anxious for months about addressing his class in school.

Now I've heard a lot of people here looking for details on the tapes and their effectiveness,so I 've decided that I will write a short report each week and give my 2 cents worth on the series.As I know they are expensive,cost me €275 and then had another €79 euro import tax slapped on by customs.So the exchange rate savings were wiped out by those nice people.I guess it's just the clamp down on cheaper imports from the US

The first big problem that I will have to overcome is the fact that the series needs to be done over a 20 week period.You start with one tape per week.You have to do the exercises for 7 days,for 30 minutes a day to allow the CBT techniques to fully get engrained in your mind.This can be hard,as it is tempting to rush through the series,but he stresses over and over again the importance of only doing one tape per week,and dedicating 30 minutes a day,and repeating the exercise until it's becomes engrained in your mind.

Will keep u all informed of the progress,hopefully I can stay dedicated to it.Hopefully it may help some of u to decide whether or not it's a good investment.

I am also on the waiting list for CBT.It's a heath board therapist,so I guess the delay could be long,even though I will be paying for it.I guess CBT therapist are not very common here in Ireland.

I would be interested in hearing from others that have had good experiences with this series.If you have bad comments to make about the series,then please do NOT post them here,as I want to give this my best shot,and negative things are real bad for us SA sufferers,as they are the easiest for us to believe.

 

[Anonymous]

Week 1 update - well I just finished the first week and it was much easier than I thought.Not much difference,but it is stressed that CBT can't change us overnight,as it's taken years for our thinking to get this way.One thing I found facinating is that he asks you to try to catch yourself having "negative thoughts" during the week,and I found that I was having them many times every day.The next thing is to do something to distract yourself from these thoughts.There were 3 exercises in all to carry out in week one,and all of these were easy.I suppose like everone I would like to see change quickly,but from what I've read there is no quick fix for SA.So I am determined to stick with this series.I still haven't got an appointment to see the CBT therapist.

 

[pitkreet]

Thanks for the update - keep them coming.

I'm really interested to hear how you progress each week. I have been thinking about getting the tapes but somehow felt a bit suspicious because they are so expensive - seemed a bit like the guy was exploiting us. But if they work, then I guess a few hundred pounds is worth paying to have my life back.

And will your name be MrMrMr Ireland next week?

 

[Anonymous]

Thanks for the update - keep them coming.

I'm really interested to hear how you progress each week. I have been thinking about getting the tapes but somehow felt a bit suspicious because they are so expensive - seemed a bit like the guy was exploiting us. But if they work, then I guess a few hundred pounds is worth paying to have my life back.

And will your name be MrMrMr Ireland next week?

No I'll stick with MrMr , as there won't enough space if I make it to the end,which I hope I will LOL.

Thanks for the support,yes the tapes are expensive,but if they help they will be worth it.Hold out for the pound to continue to grow stronger against the dollar.Also I'm not sure if they bother much with the excise duty in the UK,But here in Ireland they went crazy over Xmas as everyone was importing goods from the US.I got the tapes on the recommendation of a guy I know that told me they really helped him,along with personal CBT.But he said that it took a full year to see the real change.But I guess if I waited for years to sort myself out,then 6 months to a year will be a small price to pay.I feel that at the age of 32 I still have a chance to turn things around.

 

[Anonymous]

Hi Mr. Ireland:

The tapes are really good. I've learned so much already. But as you said, changing thinking patterns doesn't occur overnight. And thats ok, its just part of the process. I'm glad you understand that, because that means you've already started the CBT with a realistic attitude and that will help you along the way. And believe me, the knowledge you gain every week will help you feel you're in the right path and that will give you some peace of mind. Anyway, you'll see for yourself. Just take your time and don't pressure yourself. You don't have to be perfect in your learning process. It just gets better.

I wish you well.

 

[MrMr]

Week 2 update - just finished the second week of the therapy.this week I had to continue to catch the negative thoughts and distract them by doing some hobby or reading,etc.. Not only can I now catch them,but I can stop them without the distractions.But it doesn't stop me having them,but I reckon if you can stop them before they get out of control,it's well worth it.Also this last week I had to read some artical on negative thoughts every day,to try to assure myself that the thoughts that i have are usually negative,that we only tend to find the negative side of most situations,and that we need to look at things in a more rational way.The other thing he asked me to practise this week,was the relaxation tape every second day.this was really nice,as I managed to fully relax,even to the point once that i actually fell asleep.the idea behind this is to get used to relaxing so much,so that you can bring on this relaxed state eventually in anxiety or stressful situations.I also had to continue to practise the slow talk,but I still find it hard to use it,but one thing I noticed is the fact that i tend to speed up my talk when i'm in social situation,sometimes to the point where i mix up my words.I suppose all of these things will take time to come automatically.He say it's takes weeks for these things to come automatically,"just like the ABC song that we learned when we were children,we couldn't forget that song if we tried,because we heard it so many times that it's now stuck in our minds" (his words).at the moment the thoughts that are stuck in our heads are mostly negative ones,or irational ones.at times this therapy is quite hard,it's simple to do but hard to take in.but i'm dedicated to sticking with it right through to the end.i've had this sa now for a long time,so a few months will be well worth the effort.i'm still waiting to see a cbt therapist.

 

[pitkreet]

Thanks for the update, glad to hear things are going well. It sounds like you are beginning to feel some hope that you can get over SA.

The article on negative thoughts you had to read everyday - is that one supplied with the tapes or is it available elsewhere? Since starting to visit this forum a couple of weeks ago, I have been trying to observe my thoughts throughout the day and there's no doubt my brain is full of ants.

btw, what's the slow talk thing? Is it literally just conciously making the effort to talk more slowly and deliberately?

And does this guy not supply his stuff on CD? I'm not sure I've even got a working tape recorder in the house.

So many questions, sorry....

 

[MrMr]

Thanks for the update, glad to hear things are going well. It sounds like you are beginning to feel some hope that you can get over SA.

The article on negative thoughts you had to read everyday - is that one supplied with the tapes or is it available elsewhere? Since starting to visit this forum a couple of weeks ago, I have been trying to observe my thoughts throughout the day and there's no doubt my brain is full of ants.

btw, what's the slow talk thing? Is it literally just conciously making the effort to talk more slowly and deliberately?

And does this guy not supply his stuff on CD? I'm not sure I've even got a working tape recorder in the house.

So many questions, sorry....

no cd,i was hoping there was as i have a cd player in my car.but i do have an old tape player in my house.

 

[Anonymous]

I just finished the second week too. Just reading the ANTs handout has made such a difference. It really puts things in perspective.

 

[MrMr]

Firstly that to the posters.King of Toast please feel free to add your comments and progress here.I think it's important that we get a wider view on these tapes,as they are expensive.

Week 3 update - this one is a little late,as I didn't finish the week untill Tuesday,as I some other things to deal with.Anyway this week I was asked to continue to read the ANT's handout and to continue to repeat the rational coping statments.This is not hard,as it doesn't take long to read them.I read them in slow talk,but I'm still finding it hard to use the slow talk.I still get anxious and forget to use it,and I just spurt my words out.He does say that it does take time to get used to it.He also goes into the improtance of not using anger or furstration to try to beat sa,if we use anger or self pity,we are just fueling the anxiety.What we need to do is ignore the anxiety and stop the ants,this is the way to reduce it.We are having ants because we have conditioned ourselfs to only think this way over the years.I have found that I am catching my ants a lot,stopping them most of the time.It's amazing how many ants we have everyday,some about really small meaningless things,that others wouldn't bat a eyelid about.I did fall foul of my negatives thoughts this week also,as I thought of a situation with someone negatively and not rationally.But this just serves notice that I had a minor setback.He also stresses the importance of accepting ourselfs now,as we are warts n all,that we are nice people with sa.It's also amazing how much we hate our lifes when we are in the midst of sa.I mean we have a bad expreience and we start having ants that continue to bring up all the things we don't like about our lifes and our past.I have begun to start to live from Today forward and not look back on the past,I have lots of things that I would like to change about the past,but no matter how much I go over it,it ain't going to change,so I'll look forward.But I also am trying not to worry about the future too much,as I think I used to beat myself up about things that may happen in the future,funnily I used to dream about nice things happening,but only seemed to see negative things happening.Like I'll grow old alone,if I lose my job I'll never get another,etc...

I still feel like I'll be useless at certain things,like keeping a girlfriend.As I have ants that I won't be interesting enough,smart enough,good looking,and that she will only end up leaving me anyway.I'm still trying to find out why the hell this worries me so much.as other people seem to go from relationship to relationship without worrying how long it will last,or even caring.Take the pop stars,they get together,move in,get married,have kids,split up and both parties have new partners in less than a week,no big deal for them.I guess the sa gives us "all or nothing" thoughts about this.

 

[Anonymous]

thanks, for posting your experience with the tapes man. thats cool. im gonna wait and see your results before buying the tape. i dont have that kinda money.

 

[Anonymous]

Hello to all!


Question to MrMr:


Did you buy the series directly from the social anxiety institute?

 

[MrMr]

Hello to all!


Question to MrMr:


Did you buy the series directly from the social anxiety institute?

Yes I did.It seemed like it wasn't too expensive,about €270 with the current exchange rate,but then I got hit with €75 import tax,as the customs in ireland are clamping down hard on imports from the us.The only thing I have got away with were books from amazon,but i think they are shipped from germany.

 

[MrMr]

Firstly thanks to all who posted on here.Please continue to add your questions,as I will be happy to answer them best I can.

Week 4 - This week there were a few new handouts to read over as well as one or two old ones.I had to continue to read the handout on automatic negative thoughts.Then he goes into stressing that we have many beliefs about ourselfs and the world that are irational,which I can see to be true,and that we have to replace them with more rational beliefs.He also stresses that we may be having some setbacks,but that this is bound to happen,as we have negative beliefs that are automatic,and we are only beginning to replace them with more rational ones.These beliefs because we have had them for so long became real and true and it will take time before we automatically think rationally.He say's that as we are doing the therapy,we are creating a new channel of thinking,but the old one is still very strong,but the more we use our new channel and ignore the old then the old one will become weaker and the new rational one will become stonger and automatic.He asks us to question our negative responses to situation and look at them more realistically and ask ourselfs why we are making such a big deal and beating ourselfs up about trivial things,when others would have forgoten them shortly after they happened.This is working to a certain extent,as I had one situation that would have cuased me sleepless nights and depression,but this time although I did still go over and over it again and agian,I was able to stop myself and question it's importance,then calm down and relax a bit.He also tells us to not expect everyone to like us,and that these people probably ain't worth knowing anyway if they have this attitude.He also stresses that people are not acting negatively to us,but to the way we behave.If we are too quiet,we appear to others as uninterested,but if we are a little more open,then we are seen as a friendly person,basically what we give out we get back.This ain't an easy one,as I am quiet most of the time when I'm out,dont' know what to talk about,but I do now accept that most people are not avoiding me,but they way I act,let's face it I know people get uncomfortable around me,as I am quiet and appear distant.I don't mean to be this way,but it's going to be hard to overcome.I guess I will have to try to get some social skills.I guess this also has to do with low self esteem,confidence and slight depression.I have noticed that the most popular people in a social situation are actually the outgoing friendly,talk to anyone types and not the good lookers,as I once would have thought.I still have problems using slow talk,as I'm half ways through a conversation before I realise I'm rushing and getting nervous,I will have to continue to try to remind myself before starting a conversation.I have started to make eye contact with as many people as I can,I tend to stick to nice friendly people for now.This can range from uncomfortable to being a real nice experience,like when you get change back from a nice checkout girl and you see her smile for the first time,the reason I never seen it before is I used to look down at the change going into my hand. Sometimes it can be hard to keep going,but once I read a little or listen to the tape I get all the motivation I need.I still think it's going to be a long hard road,but then I think this guy was way worse than me and for longer and he got better.But I am seeing real small changes so far,so I'll stick the pace.

Sorry if I ramble on here or jump back and forth.

I'm still waiting for the Cbt therapy,no appointment yet.

 

[Anonymous]

Hello all!

MrMr:

If you bought the tapes from the site I can assume you received your password to access the guides, additions, questions and answers and other specific questions.

In my experience, the questions have helped me understand some things that may occur during therapy. Since I'm doing this on my own, I've had some things that have happened during the series that you sometimes need to consult. Reading these questions, finding out that others go through the same thoughts and feelings and reading what Dr. Richards responds has helped quite a deal during therapy.

I understand what you mean with your problems with slow talk. It happens to me too....I start slow talking with others well, but I forget half way through and start talking faster. I need more practice in that area.

Repetition, reinforcement and reprogramming...lets stick to it and stay motivated. Time will tell. :wink:

Amigable

PS English isn't my first language, so please excuse any errors in this post.

 

[MrMr]

Hi Amigable,

Yes I bought the tapes from the site.I do use the questions and answers page and find it ever so helpful.Keep up the good work.I'm on tape 9 and sometimes it's tempting to give up,but I don't.I realise that it takes months to master this.I will keep going to the end.Please feel free to add your views on the series as you go along,as I think lots of people are interested in getting these tapes,but don't want to spend so much money without knowing the success.On this note I would advice people who are looking for a quick fix,then don't buy the tapes.Also if you only want to listen to a tape every day and expect them to help,don't buy the tapes.If you can give this 30-60 minutes a day,every dayfor about 6 months,then do buy the tapes.The therapy itself is easy to do,it's doing it every day that is hard.

MrMr.

Hello all!

MrMr:

If you bought the tapes from the site I can assume you received your password to access the guides, additions, questions and answers and other specific questions.

In my experience, the questions have helped me understand some things that may occur during therapy. Since I'm doing this on my own, I've had some things that have happened during the series that you sometimes need to consult. Reading these questions, finding out that others go through the same thoughts and feelings and reading what Dr. Richards responds has helped quite a deal during therapy.

I understand what you mean with your problems with slow talk. It happens to me too....I start slow talking with others well, but I forget half way through and start talking faster. I need more practice in that area.

Repetition, reinforcement and reprogramming...lets stick to it and stay motivated. Time will tell. :wink:

Amigable

PS English isn't my first language, so please excuse any errors in this post.

 

[MrMr]

Hi everyone.

Sorry for not updating in the last few weeks.I have had quite a good few weeks.I went with some friends for a weekend away and had a good time.I had a nice day on St Patricks day also,a complete contrast to last year,when I panicked and went home early.Last weekend I went out again,first time in a disco for about a year.So things do seem to be looking up,I hope they keep going this way.

I think the big changes from the tapes have been that I now accept myself as I am to a large degree,where as before I hated myself,my life and always compared my less favourably to other guys (like I can't have a girlfriend cause I'm dull and boring,who would be interested in me).I now accept my life as it is,even the boring parts.I have learned to relax a lot more and accept things.

I have tried my best not to worry about what the future holds,as we are told that worry only leads to more worry and it solves nothing,but makes us feel worse.I mean I have a wedding comming up soon and normally I would be woried sick,but now I feel more ralaxed and have told myself that it's no big deal,that no one will be watching or judging me,as they are too busy with themselfs to even notice what I'm doing.

I have accepted that I'm not perfect,but so too is everyone else,we are all humans and we all make mistakes.If I make a mistake now I laugh it off and say to myself "it's no big deal",where as in the past I would have beaten myself up with worry for days on end.

Social events still cause some anxiety and I know it will take quite a while to master,as I've had SA for years.I now try to keep as calm as possible and don't try to escape.There are still one or two people that I feel are negative towards me,but now I don't care whether they like me or not,why the hell should I worry if everyone likes me?
I also understand that they are probably don't hate me,but the distant and quiet way that I have been acting in the past.
I think all of this has also raised my self esteem and confidence and lowered my depression.I don't think I was badly depressed much,but I think I was slightly depressed for years without even knowing it.
I still have problems with mingling and conversations,but I'm seeing small changes here,as I learn to relax,let go and not worry too much whether I'm doing a good job and what others may think off me.

I'm still waiting on an appointment from my CBT therapist.But I have seen an ad for a local support group for people suffering from anxiety,stress,etc.I would rather talk this over with the therapist before going along to this.

I know it's early days yet,but I do think that the CBT is working.I have kept it up every day,"which I stress you need to do".I will keep it going right to the end.I know it can be easy to throw it to one side,especially when you either feel it's not working or it's working to such an extent that you feel you don't need it any more.CBT is a really good therapy,but you need to realise that it is long term,as there are a lots off negative thoughts and felling that we need to deal with.

I hope that this helps anyone who is thinking of doing this series or anyone who has just started the series.

You guys that have started,add your views of the series here if you please,keep going and keep up the good work.

MrMr

 

[unleashed]

i tried a phobia hypnosis cd yesterday but i got a bit stuck on the visualisation cause..you had to visualise when it started and i think mine is just a combination of mental illness and conditioning..but it was relaxing..

 

[MrMr]

Hi Unleashed.

I'd say that if you are suffering from SA then most if not all of your problem is conditioning.You should give CBT a shot,what have you got to lose?

Since I've discovered that I have SA,I've told myself that I may have some sort of mental illness.I mean my memory is pretty poor and I find it hard to concentrate on things and find it hard to think on things to converse about.But since I've started CBT I've learned not to worry about these things and start to let go and enjoy life again.Lets face it we all forget things,have trouble concentrating at times and get stuck when talking!

Remember that nearly everyone in society today will suffer some form of mental illness in their life.Some of the people that you see walking around leading what look like normal lifes may well have depression, stress or anxiety,it's that common.I think it's the stigma that has surrounded mental illness for years that is responsible for us feeling like nut cases.Remember people do get over depression,etc. and go on to lead normal lifes.It just takes a lot of courage to ask for and seek help.

Thankfully mental illness is becomming more and more understood and accepted by society.People used to see mental illness as people locked up in stright jackets,not so much anymore.

 

[jacob22]

tape number 14

Hi guys,

I am really happy to see you are expressing interest in Dr Richards series. I was very sceptical also and it took me a long time to decide to buy the tapes cause they are so expensive, so i just ordered the introduction tape to see what it was all about. And i liked it! I mean the 20 week thing is a good sign no???

Do you actually think we can change our thinking patterns in 1 week? And it does take work and of course repetition. This is normal. But these things just proved to me that the tape was not scam or empty promisses. I mean if you dont do the 30 min work daily- mostly self talk and repetition, then how do you expect to change and grow and get better.

The key here is to stick to it. Isnt LIFE WORTH IT? Arent YOU worth it?
Its a process of healing. I am currently on my 14 th week. I can FEEL myself heal, my thoughts changing and becoming more rational. Now that is real transformation that will last. But i am not "cured" yet it does take time.... But if i can do it all of you can!

You just really have to want to change... and do the work to make that happen!

Take care
Tessa