Emma
Well-known member
I'm a little bit scared.
I've had this really horrible pain in my stomach for two years now, no-one can figure out what it is, and for awhile I could control it with medication, (I'm sure I've complained about this before) but now it's worse than ever, it just feels like I'm carring a bowling ball around in my stomach, and I get so tired, and just in the last few weeks, everytime I get out of bed I just get dizzy and fall over, and I everytime i eat even a small amount I feel so full, and just tonight I noticed my heart was beating really really fast, and I was just sitting still, I don't want to die like this, If had to die tomorrow I would have done anything worthwhile, I would just be some stupid girl with social phobia that's too scared to do anything.......I know it's only one week until I see the doctor again, but I'm so tired of waiting around.
And I'm so sick of hearing stupid questions like "Are you pregnant?" (God if I was I must have been pregnant for years!!) and "do you think your social phobia has anything to do with it?" Why do stupid people think if you have social phobia it's the cause of every other problem you could have? I really regret thinking I wanted to die, I don't now, but knowing my luck I'll just drop dead without doing anything I wanted to do.
I've had this really horrible pain in my stomach for two years now, no-one can figure out what it is, and for awhile I could control it with medication, (I'm sure I've complained about this before) but now it's worse than ever, it just feels like I'm carring a bowling ball around in my stomach, and I get so tired, and just in the last few weeks, everytime I get out of bed I just get dizzy and fall over, and I everytime i eat even a small amount I feel so full, and just tonight I noticed my heart was beating really really fast, and I was just sitting still, I don't want to die like this, If had to die tomorrow I would have done anything worthwhile, I would just be some stupid girl with social phobia that's too scared to do anything.......I know it's only one week until I see the doctor again, but I'm so tired of waiting around.
And I'm so sick of hearing stupid questions like "Are you pregnant?" (God if I was I must have been pregnant for years!!) and "do you think your social phobia has anything to do with it?" Why do stupid people think if you have social phobia it's the cause of every other problem you could have? I really regret thinking I wanted to die, I don't now, but knowing my luck I'll just drop dead without doing anything I wanted to do.