don't know what to say to sis

cowboyup

cowboyup

Well-known member
Reality just slapped me in the face tonight. I have never been in a relationship and I don't know what to tell (or how to respond) to my sister's dilemma.

my sister told me that she and her fiance had a bad argument. She yelled at him because all he does is play video games and doesn't help her with the household stuff...laundry, cleaning, etc. (this is re-occurring fight btwn them)

She works and is going to grad school for a Master's degree. He is working with his dad (under the table pay) while collecting disability. He is permanently disabled-wheelchair-bound but can work limited jobs.

She has told me about how his laziness makes her mad and he procrastinates at everything, etc., etc., etc.

And she told him if he doesn't change his ways this isn't going to work. He just shrugs it off according to my sister.

My Point: it dawned on me that since I never have been in a relationship therefore I never have 'argued' with anyone. What do I say to my sister? I feel that the 'I'm sorry" answer is lame at this point. I'd like to either give her advice, or say something other than I'm sorry to hear that but I don't know what to tell her.

Any suggestion?
 
I

ImNotMyIllness

Well-known member
Just tell her how you feel. You don't need to have been in an relationship. What is your opinion? How would you respond if you were your sister? Place yourself in her shoes...put yourself in your brother n law's shoes too. Think about it for a while and then give her advice or your "unqualified" thoughts.
 
crazycatlady27

crazycatlady27

Well-known member
tell her what you think , do you think he is a lazy bum?
i had a fella like this and i eventually dumped his ass on his parents, if he just shrugs it off when she threatens to leave he aint going to change, you could tell her to leave him for a week and see how he feels then, if he begs and wants to change then there is some hope, if he sits there playing games all day and does not text or phone then tell her to leave him !!!
 
I

ImNotMyIllness

Well-known member
I do feel very sorry for him, being that he is wheel chair bound. :( That must be incredibly difficult. For him and your sister.
 
J

jaim38

Well-known member
Being wheelchair bound can make it hard to do some chores such as cleaning and cooking, but it's not an excuse to sit around all day and play video games. A relationship should be a partnership where both partners contribute, not a 1 way street. Your sister should have this talk with her fiancee.
 
cowboyup

cowboyup

Well-known member
jaim38 said:
Being wheelchair bound can make it hard to do some chores such as cleaning and cooking, but it's not an excuse to sit around all day and play video games. A relationship should be a partnership where both partners contribute, not a 1 way street. Your sister should have this talk with her fiancee.
Click to expand...

^true to a point, but when we visited them, he was the one who made us dinner, so I know he's capable of more.
 
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