Doing "special" gestures for him to let him know i

[Dave_McFadden]

Can anyone give me some insight on why he looks so sad sometimes when he looks at me..and down right frightened..it makes me nervous bcuz i feel like he just can't handle having me THAT close to him and looking at him? And all i want to do is put my arms around him and help him =)

My guess is that he's thinking, "I'm 3x and I've never had a gf - if she found that out she'd think I was a real loser and all this would come to an end and she'd move on to some other guy"

Ok so, WHAT EXACTLY SHOULD I DO? Please don't tell me to just go up to him and say would you like to go out with me. I would die!!! I need to build up to that.

Out of curiousity, where does your user name come from? Is it from that song?

Also, what are some ways girls got you to put the moves on them..or at least relax around them long enough so they can ask you out?

Laughing at my jokes at the right time. At least that seems to work for me :?

 

[TooShyShy]

Yes..to this day i love that song

Thanks for your response!!!!! I like that if they laugh at your jokes it helps to make you more confident.

 

[Dave_McFadden]

You said in one of your posts that you were "well over 30". Are you an 80's buff? If this guy is in his late 30's, this might be something you have in common. You could display some sort of '80s memorabilia on your desk. Maybe it'll become a conversation piece.

If you have mutual friends at work, maybe they could plan an "80's night out", where the both of you end up getting invited. And eventually, they play a slow song, and gosh, guess who ends up being the odd couple out who is simply forced to slow dance with each other. Many moons ago, that helped me and one of my gf's hook up.

 

[Kien]

I think that guy is in a situation that many shy non-girlfriend guys dreams of, with you liking him so much.

 

[KurtG85]

Well, with you being extremely shy as well I would enlist the help of alcohol. Maybe this is viewed as too adolescent at your guys' age though.

Otherwise, you might try talking with any friends of his at work and passively mention you like him and that you wish he would ask you out, they will pass it on whether you ask them to or not, trust me.

 

[Dave_McFadden]

Here's a thought: Is it winter or summer where you are? He seems to like your cooking...if it's summer where you are, then one day you could make a "picnic lunch" for just the two of you. And then you could go eat it together outside during your lunch break. If you're allowed to go outside for lunch. Maybe that's too "daring" at this point.

 

[dan_e]

If someone gave me cookies I would think they were just "being nice" and doting on me. Not that they were interested in dating or friendship. Be more obvious. Ask them out somewhere.

 

[TooShyShy]

I thought that as well, thats why i put a Christmas card with the cookies.

The card was about KNOWING when someone cares for you and how its the best gift in the world...and how the best things in life are not wrapped in packages with bows but are the feelngs one has that are unspoken and hugs given at just the right time...its a very special and sweet card i thought..it even had a few small hearts around the border.

How would you have reacted if a girl gave u a card like that with baked cookies???

 

[HH]

ummm, how would I feel if a girl gave me a card with baked cookies? Very happy probably as I love the cookies sigh-no one has done anything like that for me (which is a bit depressing). I would love it.

I did something similar to this a few years ago when I had very strong feelings for a girl. Me being shy and quiet I couldn't tell her about those feelings so I gave her a painting of her favourite band (it was a funny cartoon type picture-proper frame and everything).

I gave it to hear just before she went to uni. She loved it but the relationship has never got past friend stage-mainly because my feelings for her have faded over the years/I'm still very shy around her and we're both busy, we don't see each other very often etc, etc.

I don't know if doing something like that seemed a bit creepy (as I didn't really know her that well at the time) I just felt I had to do something even if it might have been the wrong thing to do. The things people do when in love hey!

As dan_e said I think it may have given him the impression you were just being nice, you probably have to be even more direct and get him alone and say what you feel-one on one.