Does this make me ugly?

[alex8609]

I've been having these bad feelings lately because I feel like no matter how hard I try to be nice to everybody that no one likes me. I'm a guy and when I was little, lots of guys use to make fun of me and would often bully me so I always thought they were better than me. I'm glad that happened now, because I know that I would never treat anyone else like that and I think it made me more compassionate towards others.

But it feels people are still looking over me or picking on me. The guys would also tell me that I was ugly but everyone else told me I wasnt but now I'm starting to believe that I am ugly because I was bullied. I have lots of black hair and brown/hazel eyes so maybe I can seem ugly but I don't feel I like it because I like the way I look. Does being bullied make you a bad person or lower than the ones who bullied you?

 

[recluse]

Being bullied doesn't make you a bad person o'r lower it's just that the bullies want to make you BELIEVE you are that way.

I struggle with feelings of inadequesy and inferiority due to being bullied from an early age. I'd say that i am a bitter person because i feel my life has been ruined because of the way people have treated me.

People seemed to pick on any flaw they saw in me.

 

[CoyoteX]

Being bullied doesn't make you a bad person o'r lower it's just that the bullies want to make you BELIEVE you are that way.

I struggle with feelings of inadequesy and inferiority due to being bullied from an early age. I'd say that i am a bitter person because i feel my life has been ruined because of the way people have treated me.

People seemed to pick on any flaw they saw in me.

^^ I know what you're saying recluse...and please don't take this personally, because I'm not talking about you, I'm talking about me...it's just something that you said reminded me of this. But I had been treated the same way in the past (and still a little to this day), because of low self-esteem and feelings of inadequesy. I entered into a relationship that got a little out of hand, because I was afraid to be confrontational and stand up for myself...and ulitmately it didn't do well for my self esteem and self image, and I allowed myself to be treated in ways I would never stand for today. But my point being is this...and I know it may seem harsh, but I believe each of us is responsible for how other people treat us. Just as bullies are responsible for their actions, people who are bullied have to take responsibility and ask themselves "Why am I allowing this to happen." I know it seems unfair, but I truly believe it makes us a stronger person when we turn the questions on ourselves...because no one 'out there' is going to change. Not for us, not for anybody. So I firmly believe taking responsibility for the things we attract into our life, is key to our empowerment. But yes, you hve every right to be angry...but you also have the power to turn it around. Again, this wasn't directed at you personally, just something I had to realize in myself, and am now working to overcome.-

 

[lurknomore]

^^ I know what you're saying recluse...and please don't take this personally, because I'm not talking about you, I'm talking about me...it's just something that you said reminded me of this. But I had been treated the same way in the past (and still a little to this day), because of low self-esteem and feelings of inadequesy. I entered into a relationship that got a little out of hand, because I was afraid to be confrontational and stand up for myself...and ulitmately it didn't do well for my self esteem and self image, and I allowed myself to be treated in ways I would never stand for today. But my point being is this...and I know it may seem harsh, but I believe each of us is responsible for how other people treat us. Just as bullies are responsible for their actions, people who are bullied have to take responsibility and ask themselves "Why am I allowing this to happen." I know it seems unfair, but I truly believe it makes us a stronger person when we turn the questions on ourselves...because no one 'out there' is going to change. Not for us, not for anybody. So I firmly believe taking responsibility for the things we attract into our life, is key to our empowerment. But yes, you hve every right to be angry...but you also have the power to turn it around. Again, this wasn't directed at you personally, just something I had to realize in myself, and am now working to overcome.-

This is a great post!

I think that sometimes people spend most of their time complaining about "the world" and very little time focusing on how they can change their own attitudes and behaviors to adapt to it. Yes, a lot of things about the world are unfair, but ultimately we have more control over changing ourselves, and we should take the initiative and responsibility to do that. Easier said than done though.

 

[mrb]

I've been having these bad feelings lately because I feel like no matter how hard I try to be nice to everybody that no one likes me. I'm a guy and when I was little, lots of guys use to make fun of me and would often bully me so I always thought they were better than me. I'm glad that happened now, because I know that I would never treat anyone else like that and I think it made me more compassionate towards others.

But it feels people are still looking over me or picking on me. The guys would also tell me that I was ugly but everyone else told me I wasnt but now I'm starting to believe that I am ugly because I was bullied. I have lots of black hair and brown/hazel eyes so maybe I can seem ugly but I don't feel I like it because I like the way I look. Does being bullied make you a bad person or lower than the ones who bullied you?

i was bullied at school quite badly , and yes your right it does make you more compassionate towards people when your older , it dont make you a bad person or lower , there will always be bullys even in adult life , end of the day the bullys are the ones with the problems , they feel they have to use there physical power over you to make themselves feel better , to make them selves feel big , do people on here do that no lol , people like you are a lot bigger in ways there silly brains dont even comprehend

 

[CoyoteX]

^^ Yes, thanks Lurknomore. It's easy to point the finger and blame the world, the hard part is looking at ourselves. I think the more responsibility we take and place upon ourselves, the more control we have over our life. Nobody is 'doing it to us' we're allowing it to happen, but why? This is the question. Again, this is directly aimed at myself, not anyone else.